Need male perspective...

[Maffy]

I dated a guy for almost 2 month. We had similar interests and values, great chemistry, and were happy when together.

 

The only problem that arose was that he felt uncomfortable with my level of demonstrated affection (which i think was reasonable, not clingy). Apparently it pressurised him and made him confused about his own feelings. He then acted very ambivalent about the relationship. The more it got 'emotional' the more he was backing off from sex because he was afraid it would make me even more mushy. Facing such uncertainty he chose to break up, instead of asking me to slow down a little.

 

However, he was very generous of compliments in my favor, on every level, and again, the chemisty was amazing.

 

We wanted to remain friends as soon as we broke up.

 

So my question to the male species is: does he really want to be real friends or does he want to keep me on the sideline while he figures thing out?

 

And do i really need another friend?!

[Tony T]

I don't think you can ever have enough friends. However, you have to decide on the level and freqency of contact for each friendship.

 

As far as his motivation for friendship, he probably really wants to be friends...but he obviously needs to sort out his feelings as well.

 

You are in control of the situation and you should dictate the terms and conditions of whatever association you may establish with him from this point on. If you don't want him for a friend, just don't pursue a friendship. If you want a friendship but don't want him thinking about getting back with you at some future time, just let him know you are letting go of him emotionally and if he wants to be friends, it has to be with the understanding that you are moving on with your life and the friendship will have no strings attached.

 

By asking if you really need another friend, you imply that you really don't want to be this guy's friend and you would prefer to just move along. Do what makes YOU happy!!!