Spelling/grammar errors in text msgs

[SoonMyFriend]

This question came up at a pub night with my girl friends and so I'd like to see what LS thought...

 

Does it bother you when someone you are looking to date/currently dating has spelling & grammar errors in their text messages? Same with dating profiles... do those errors turn you off of messaging someone?

[Keenly]

That turns me off so much more than it should . I just find it So hard to respect some one that can't spell, type out full words of their primary language, uses numbers as words, or can't even make grammatical sense.

[Kaitie]

I hate when people use text talk. Just spell out the whole word! As for mistakes, in the beginning if they can't spell I wonder if they have that problem all the time. Once I start dating someone for a while and see that they can put together a proper sentence, I don't mind a mistake here and there.

[nescafe1982]

I'll admit something a little "game-y" that I did when I was online dating. I have a PhD and write/teach for a living... I'm not a dumbass, in other words. But when I would chat with men online, I would let one or two misspellings slip into the text... just to see what his reaction was. Would he let it slide? Would he treat me like I was stupid? Would he get angry, lose interest, or joke about it?

 

It was actually pretty illuminating as an exercise. I learned a lot about some of the men I was chatting with that way. Nothing makes someone show their true colors than how they treat someone who makes a simple mistake.

[melell]

That turns me off so much more than it should . I just find it So hard to respect some one that can't spell, type out full words of their primary language, uses numbers as words, or can't even make grammatical sense.

 

I feel exactly the same- with emphasis on 'so much more than it should'.

[Kansas87]

It does bother me, and yet it doesn't. I'm an English teacher, so I hate it to a certain extent. But I'm also realistic about the current state of online communication.

 

Common abbreviations don't bother me (lol, lmao, brb, etc.) but things like "u" and "r" drive me up the wall.

 

Really though I look more at sentences, syntax, and general thought processes to get a sense of someone's intelligence and personality.

[Raena]

Have any of you used the Swype feature in text messaging? I use it on my phone and I have to tell you, it embarrasses the daylights out of me how many times it chooses the wrong word. Half the time, I don't even notice it until after I already hit send. I know I should proofread before responding, and if I were talking to someone where I thought it was important to spell correctly, then I do take the time... but if I'm talking to a close friend, I don't even bother anymore.

 

Having said that... I do find it incredibly annoying to find that many errors... either in my own texts or in others.

[MrCastle]

I'm a writer. Yes it's annoying. Typos are one thing, repeatedly misspelling a word is another. One girl continued to write suit, as in suitcase, business suit, etc as "suite."

 

I never said anything to her but damn.

 

A suitecase is not a thing.

[ponchsox]

Only if it's excessive typos. I'm more interested in the content.

[Dark_history]

I'm a writer. Yes it's annoying. Typos are one thing, repeatedly misspelling a word is another. One girl continued to write suit, as in suitcase, business suit, etc as "suite."

 

I never said anything to her but damn.

 

A suitecase is not a thing.

 

Suitecase sounds like something a lawyer would say, when you say it outloud

[Fondue]

things like "u" and "r" drive me up the wall.

 

Completely agree here. It burns my eyes when I see this.

 

As far as the rest of the question goes: I definitely judge people on their texting style. I am by no means a writer, but some attempt at proper syntax is appreciated. A comma is a wonderful thing.

 

It's funny though. If I begin to text someone new, a friend or a perspective lady who doesn't text "well," they would often MATCH my texting style soon after. They might send a few "poorly written" texts to begin with, then notice I am quiet punctual and proper with mine... Suddenly, boom! Their sentence structure/syntax/spelling improves dramatically then on!

 

It's as if they are mirroring me?

[greenfairie]

Spelling/grammar errors make me question their intelligence.

[nescafe1982]

It's funny though. If I begin to text someone new, a friend or a perspective lady who doesn't text "well," they would often MATCH my texting style soon after. They might send a few "poorly written" texts to begin with, then notice I am quiet punctual and proper with mine... Suddenly, boom! Their sentence structure/syntax/spelling improves dramatically then on!

 

It's as if they are mirroring me?

 

 

I've noticed this too. I think it's definitely mirroring... I have male friends who, whenever they start seeing someone new, pick up the text-speak of their new love interests.

 

The first time a manly-man guy friend of mine texted me "brb lol," I thought he'd had a stroke.

[MrCastle]

Suitecase sounds like something a lawyer would say, when you say it outloud

 

Yeah. "Suitecase" is what one lawyer would say to the other, complimenting him on his very stylish new leather briefcase.

 

Of course this would be said on their way to court to handle a lawsuite.

[Ruby Slippers]

Yes, it bothers me a lot. Habitual typos bother me the most, because it screams "you're not worth the effort of getting this right". Is it really that hard to backspace and correct? No, it is not.

[Dark_history]

Y r u h8ing on txts???????????

 

Its duh entrnet yo, not skool!

[CrystalCastles]

I think people's responses are a little harsh.

 

I'm not a native English speaker and frequently I make grammatical errors (though spelling mistakes are rare). When I talk I'm not always understandable because sometimes I order words in a sentence the way I would in my native tongue, but that might not make sense in English.

 

If someone is foreign and still in the process of learning English, they're not going to sound like a native English speaker but that doesn't make them stupid.

[MrCastle]

I think people's responses are a little harsh.

 

I'm not a native English speaker and frequently I make grammatical errors (though spelling mistakes are rare). When I talk I'm not always understandable because sometimes I order words in a sentence the way I would in my native tongue, but that might not make sense in English.

 

If someone is foreign and still in the process of learning English, they're not going to sound like a native English speaker but that doesn't make them stupid.

 

That's different. That's acceptable. Actually, if they're foreign, it's kinda cute. It shows that they're at least trying.

 

I hold my fellow Americans to a higher standard.

 

[/Elitist]

[MissBee]

This question came up at a pub night with my girl friends and so I'd like to see what LS thought...

 

Does it bother you when someone you are looking to date/currently dating has spelling & grammar errors in their text messages? Same with dating profiles... do those errors turn you off of messaging someone?

 

Yes.

 

One or two errors/mistakes, that's fine. But if it significantly affects the flow to where I'm playing a game of deciphering or if it is a case where I feel you are significantly below my level in terms of written communication, then we will have a difficult time and I'll be turned off.

 

I really like a man who speaks well and can express himself well both orally and in writing. You don't need to be perfect at it but I get wetter the better at it you are and the worst at it you are, the opposite is also true lol. *shrug*

[Dark_history]

Yes.

 

One or two errors/mistakes, that's fine. But if it significantly affects the flow to where I'm playing a game of deciphering or if it is a case where I feel you are significantly below my level in terms of written communication, then we will have a difficult time and I'll be turned off.

 

I really like a man who speaks well and can express himself well both orally and in writing. You don't need to be perfect at it but I get wetter the better at it you are and the worst at it you are, the opposite is also true lol. *shrug*

 

Oral.....

[SoonMyFriend]

Wow glad I am not alone in this one! I am on the "drives me nuts" end of things.

 

I went out on one date with a guy last week and we've been texting off & on since then. He spells things wrong all the time!

 

I mean, some of it could be his autocorrect, but I do check what I write before I send it. And some of it is basic comprehension!!

 

I also creeped his Linkedin one day and found a whole BUNCH of errors there and that drove me nuts. If I were hiring, I would not hire someone who can't be bothered to get someone to double check their profile for such errors.

 

I figured I was being unreasonable for allowing these things to question whether I should continue dating him... in his defence he did only complete high school (no post secondary education as he was a semi-pro athlete for awhile).

[crederer]

Yeah it bugs me a lot if it's really bad. If there are a few errors here and there it's fine, but if it's "text" speak or people using big words incorrectly, holy hell it makes my skin crawl.

 

"wat r u up 2 2night?". Man, that's the worst.

 

I've been texting a younger girl a lot lately that was doing this. I never called her out on it but I noticed as time went on she stopped doing it (probably noticing I wasn't doing it back).

 

One time on facebook a female friend of mine had her status as "were excepting free beers for ne one thats offring. Were both brok and their to expensive for neither of us to by write now".

 

I've known this girl for like 10 years and immediately deleted her off of my facebook for that post alone.

Edited November 20, 2013 by crederer

[SoonMyFriend]

The "you're, your" and "there, their, and they're" stuff also really bothers me. Haha... there's a difference!!!

 

Text speak doesn't bother me. It's when you're trying to attempt at real conversation but you still aren't getting things correct that it bothers me.

[bumpyroad]

Well, I try not to be too judgemental, but it is pretty much a deal-breaker, as the poster above said, it makes you question their intelligence.

 

Errors in texts are more forgivable than in email. Texts to me are meant to be more to be more quick/throwaway. I really can't be bothered with getting into long, perfectly-constructed, elaborate discussions by text.

 

I'd much rather receive an essentially legible text with a few spelling errors than text-speak. I can't stand txtspeak, it may be quicker for them, but nt 4 me hving 2 wst my tme wkn out wat they wnt 2 knw. Just makes me want to smash my phone or their face.

[lollipopspot]

I hold my fellow Americans to a higher standard.

 

Yeah, if you're not even fluent in your own language, I see that as an issue.

 

Everyone makes the occasional typo when they're typing fast - the "their"/"there" kind of mistake that makes you cringe when you see you yourself just managed to do it. But mistakes where you can tell that someone just doesn't have a grasp of basic grammar, or doesn't know a word but they still try to use it and spell it out phonetically - "walla" for "voila," "ancy" for "antsy" etc. - drive me crazy and cause me to feel I'm dealing with someone semi-illiterate.

 

That said, I know my grammar isn't perfect and I appreciate when people who are more knowledgeable point out mistakes. I wasn't sure in the above paragraph whether it should be written "mistakes where" or "mistakes in which" or if it matters.