Family complaining about T-giving dinner

[pink_sugar]

So, I volunteered to do the cooking again this year, so my grandmother wouldn't have to. We generally (my husband and I) do not eat early, so we were planning to have dinner ready around 6pm. My relatives were under the impression that we said 5, because my grandmother cannot eat too late because of her digestive issues. 5 would be too difficult for us, as we, like my grandmother, have lunch plans. My grandmother is also going out for Thanksgiving lunch and my husband and I are stopping by my dad's (my parents don't get along, so separate events) for lunch. We're only having a small gathering for dinner, with probably 6, including us, so it should be no big deal to get everything done in about 4-4 1/2 hours. Since we're on a budget, we asked if people could either chip in or bring something to dinner (like squeezing rocks in my family) grandmother cannot afford it, but my mom and stepdad are chipping in so they don't have to cook anything or go out and buy anything. My brother is also a difficult one, because getting him to do anything at all is a pain. But anyways, I feel as if the family is not being appreciative and respecting the time that is convenient for us. We're paying for everything for the most part and doing all the cooking. Since my grandmother also has separate lunch reservations, I doubt she will be hungry only a few hours later and if it is too late, she can just eat a little bit and take some home the following day. It really shouldn't be this difficult. People should just plan accordingly or not attend.

Edited November 19, 2013 by pink_sugar

[Radu]

You need to be more selfish, put yourself first [not sarcasm].

[Outsider77]

You need to just tell everyone "This is what is going to happen; if you want to come, this is what you must do to help out" and make no exceptions.

[nescafe1982]

You need to just tell everyone "This is what is going to happen; if you want to come, this is what you must do to help out" and make no exceptions.

 

Agreed. And if someone gripes, shows up early, or otherwise doesn't act agreeably, be alright with that. Just keep on with your plan. You can control what YOU do... but not their reactions. So keep calm and, erm... carry on.

 

The only one with a legitimate gripe is your grandmother. As a caretaker for an elderly grandfather myself, I would suggest perhaps you can make a special small plate of something to be available for her? Just pop it in the fridge. If she wants to eat at 5, she can... and then have tea or something with the rest of you at 6 pm. If she decided to eat at 6, then great!

[d0nnivain]

Why do the Holidays always bring out the "best" in some families? *sigh* Don't feel too bad, mine's worse.

 

 

The host does get to set some rules. The time being one of them. If you can compromise to 5:30 that would probably be a good way to maintain some peace.

 

 

Do what you can & let them come or not as they want. make as much as you can the night before & consider getting some parts catered. There are some economical options at grocery stores, delis & believe it or not the fast food chain, Boston Market.

[pink_sugar]

Agreed. And if someone gripes, shows up early, or otherwise doesn't act agreeably, be alright with that. Just keep on with your plan. You can control what YOU do... but not their reactions. So keep calm and, erm... carry on.

 

The only one with a legitimate gripe is your grandmother. As a caretaker for an elderly grandfather myself, I would suggest perhaps you can make a special small plate of something to be available for her? Just pop it in the fridge. If she wants to eat at 5, she can... and then have tea or something with the rest of you at 6 pm. If she decided to eat at 6, then great!

 

Great idea! Since she's eating T-lunch, I know she isn't planning to eat much, so what is ready by 5pm will be served to her while everyone else can wait until everything is finished.

[mercuryshadow]

Ah, beggars will be choosers, won't they?

 

I think the previous posters gave good advice, so I really have nothing to add. I really hope you are able to have a peaceful and successful Thanksgiving dinner with your family.