Feeling dumb

[MissBrunette84]

Ok, I'll try make this quick and easy.

 

2 years ago me and my partner (who I'm still with now) split up for about 9 months. When we first split up he slept with someone else and openly admitted that to me.

 

2 years down the line after this and we have been back together well over a year, I find out its a mutual friend and that we have all been mutually hanging out!

 

Now I know this was in the last and we were broken up at the time, but I can't help feel a fool and be a little bit annoyed? My partner says I'm being ridiculous as it was a mistake in both parts but knowing I've been sitting there in the same places, going to the cinema etc... With this girl ( with my partner and other friends too) makes me feel a bit of an idiot...

 

I've been a bit put out and not spoke a lot to him since yesterday, am I ove reacting?

[pteromom]

No, you aren't overreacting. He should have told you instead of letting you feel like a fool that you've been hanging around them together, oblivious.

[MissBrunette84]

He should have let you know... he didn't owe you anything when you were not a couple but when you came back he should have let you know who the person he slept with was... I can imagine that you feel awkward around that person now.

 

Very. I see her as a nice person which is hard because she really is. She is with someone else now. I spoke to her about it yesterday. I said I had no idea and she thought I knew. She said its nothing to her and she has no feelings there and I can ask her anything i want to feel better. It's just weird the fact that I know they've had a thing going on before. I do feel awkward and hate it.

[MissBrunette84]

No, you aren't overreacting. He should have told you instead of letting you feel like a fool that you've been hanging around them together, oblivious.

 

Thank you. I agree. Now it's hard because they do text each other, not often but she does go for a coffee from time to time as they were old college friends. She's moved in with her partner and she assured me I have nothing to worry about. I just feel weird now if they text or have coffee... I really don't know what to do/say about the situation as my partner just thinks it's all water under the bridge they are just friends and I need to get over it.

[pteromom]

I think you just need some time to get over this. He and she may view this as old news, but you just found out so it's like it just happened.

[MissBrunette84]

I think you just need some time to get over this. He and she may view this as old news, but you just found out so it's like it just happened.

 

Yes, I think you're right. I mean other than this one blip we have a good relationship and she is a good friend regardless, I know she wouldn't have done anything to purposely hurt anyone. I just need to have a bit of space and me time I guess.

 

But thanks for replying. At least I know my reaction wasn't silly.

[Spectre]

I do agree that you weren't together so he did not cheat or anything like that. However, may I ask a few questions: why did you break up before and who is the one who ended it? how long you were with him before you broke up? Was the relationship a serious one then, was he saying he was in love with you and vice versa?

 

You said when you first split up is when he slept with someone else. How soon after the split did this occur? Since even though you weren't together, if you were in a serious relationship where he was claiming to be in love with you and then within a week or two of it ending he's already slept with someone else..I would wonder if he really was in love with you then. That's not usually how someone in love behaves, whether or not they are officially with the person they claim to love.