dichotomy Posted November 22, 2013 Share Posted November 22, 2013 Nope she told me the name after she confessed they had a continuing "relationship" , actually I had met him as one of her friends. However getting her to tell me everything else was the issue - including who else was connected or knew about things. Link to post Share on other sites
painfullyobvious Posted November 22, 2013 Share Posted November 22, 2013 There is no healing if a cheater is not forthcoming on all the details of the affair; especially if the betrayed person wants the details. This is a lack of reconciliation, remorse and honesty. There are only a few reasons why a person would refuse to divulge this critical detail of who the person is. They are protecting the affair partner hoping that they can return to the affair partner or is still in love with the affair partner. Also the affair partner may be someone very close to either of you brother-in-law, close friend, neighbor, etc. Protecting the identity of the affair partner prevents you from notifying the affair partners family/relationship and prohibits you from directly monitoring both of them. It also prevents you from communicating you know about the situation and to back off from your partner. No matter the reason without full disclosure it is hard to move forward. The only possible benefit is you cannot mentally reconstruct the affair in your mind right now as clearly not knowing who it was with. Check phone bills, messages on e-mails, social media and the person you are seeking will be discovered pretty easily. This is how I was introduced to the possibility of my girlfriends cheating. The same number was on our phone bill way too often for a common friendship. Either way I would be less concerned with who it is and more upset that your partner is not being committed to healing the relationship in a manner it needs to be. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Oberfeldwebel Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 She wouldn't say, but I got to be a very good detective. It was a shame about that leaky ink pen in his silk suit jacket pocket. Now how you spose that got in there? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 Pursuant to published policy, as the thread starter began two threads on a similar subject and did not share any personal experience relevant to the topics started, they have been merged and placed in GRD. Thanks and continue the discussion. Link to post Share on other sites
beatcuff Posted November 25, 2013 Share Posted November 25, 2013 ... But if it turns out that he slept with a particular (former) employee of ours that I suspect he did, that's past the line for me. Finito. I can forgive it, but I don't want to live with it or be married to him at the point. ... maybe unfair to pull a line --- that (bold) does not appear to be 'forgive' (underline). Link to post Share on other sites
lilmisscantbewrong Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 No wonder I am confused - because nothing makes sense here in the succession of posts anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 You assume I've slept with my friend. I haven't and have no intention of doing so unless I am really single and he is so inclined. You don't have to have intercourse in order to cheat. You realize that don't you? Link to post Share on other sites
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