Nork Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 Hi. I'm new to the forum and I guess I just want to vent or maybe get opinions? I really don't know at the moment. I had a LDR with my boyfriend and we were doing really good for a while. (We were together for over 8 months) But the last 2 months he seemed to be a little distant but always claimed it was because he was busy, etc. And I believed him because he's never really given me a reason not to. But a few days ago I went to email him and his account was deleted. And I was like "...Okay. Kinda weird but I'll just send it to another one." but then I sent one to his yahoo account and that one was also deleted also. I even tried to call him twice, but it said the number couldn't be reached. (I'm thinking it was a google voice number though which would explain why I can't even text him anymore) Just 2 weeks ago he said he wasn't leaving me and to stop worrying so much. Said he was just visiting family and things is all. But...It looks like he's left me though. A part of me still believes he hasn't left me because it doesn't seem like him at all. But everything else is pointing to him leaving me without a word. Some friends are telling me to move on because it's obvious he has. But others say give him some time before you move on. I just don't know what to at the moment.... If anybody has any advice I surely appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 Wow. That is the most passive aggressive way ever to break up with somebody. Perhaps it's something dramatic & unusual like he's in witness protection & had to move but it's probably more than he's just too muh of a coward. Moving on is an excellent plan. What is there to hang on to? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nork Posted November 20, 2013 Author Share Posted November 20, 2013 You're right. I guess I just hope there is something. But even I can't find it... Thank you for replying. I appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
bill101 Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 Hi, This is quite an unusual way to breakup indeed ( if that's what it is !) I have one question for you: How often do you guys usually communicate on a weekly basis (all medium included) ? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CherryT Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 Have you ever met in person? Usually if they're switching accounts, phone numbers, whatever people would let their family and partner know. I'm sorry, but I think he cowardly broke up with you and left you in the dark without any closure. I'd move on and be happy that you're no longer with a boy like this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nork Posted November 20, 2013 Author Share Posted November 20, 2013 Hi, This is quite an unusual way to breakup indeed ( if that's what it is !) I have one question for you: How often do you guys usually communicate on a weekly basis (all medium included) ? bill101: Hello. We used to talk every day, if not every other day for months. And would video chat at least 4 times a week, or more usually. But the last 2 months we hardly talked at all due to him being busy. And then once he said family stuff came up I never really heard from him at all. Have you ever met in person? Usually if they're switching accounts, phone numbers, whatever people would let their family and partner know. I'm sorry, but I think he cowardly broke up with you and left you in the dark without any closure. I'd move on and be happy that you're no longer with a boy like this. CherryT: Sadly no we haven't. We were really good friends prior though and everything seemed legit. So it's hard to believe that he, out of all people, did this to me. And that's what I was thinking about the info. When I changed all mine he was the first one to get it. But I've got nothing so far on any account. Link to post Share on other sites
bill101 Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 Nork, I think CherryT brought up a very good point. You cannot simply change your contact info without giving any notice to your surroundings. What he did is very disrespectful. I mean, if my email account and phone number would get deleted today for whatever reason, I'd find a way to let my significant other know what is going on to avoid worries... Don't blame yourself and keep your head up. You deserve to be treated with respect ! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nomadic_butterfly Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 bill101: Hello. We used to talk every day, if not every other day for months. And would video chat at least 4 times a week, or more usually. But the last 2 months we hardly talked at all due to him being busy. And then once he said family stuff came up I never really heard from him at all. CherryT: Sadly no we haven't. We were really good friends prior though and everything seemed legit. So it's hard to believe that he, out of all people, did this to me. And that's what I was thinking about the info. When I changed all mine he was the first one to get it. But I've got nothing so far on any account. So sorry to hear but this is why I don't understand why people put such serious titles on things BEFORE meeting in person, spending time etc. when it's an "online romance." If you continue to do OLD, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE meet as quickly as possible. I know some people on here have successfully transitioned from online "bf gf" to the real world but they are the exception not the rule. You don't even know if he has proper hygiene, can hold a conversation in person, and all the little idiosyncrasies that come with an IRL meeting. My online "interest" and I pumped the breaks on things emotionally when we saw we were getting way too caught up before meeting. I've successfully transitioned from online to RL many times b/c I am discerning and not so hung up on "feelings" vs. practicalities. This gave me balanced and realistic expectations. While I am pretty confident this will be another successful transition should/when we meet in a few months, I still have to leave a little room for that other "what if." He probably met a real person in real life and decided that he was over the online thing. Doesn't make your feelings any less valid but we are not designed for perpetual robotic romance. He never met you so he didn't take you that seriously and that is perfectly practical. It was never confirmed/validated in person and he didn't view it as a real relationship so he finally got one outside of cyber space. He is a total prick and coward for how he handled you though; he knew how you felt and didn't care. I suggest no contact although I suspect you won't be hearing from this loser again. ::hugs:: 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CherryT Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 CherryT: Sadly no we haven't. We were really good friends prior though and everything seemed legit. So it's hard to believe that he, out of all people, did this to me. And that's what I was thinking about the info. When I changed all mine he was the first one to get it. But I've got nothing so far on any account. Unfortunately, this is why I would always recommend never committing yourself or labelling yourself in a relationship unless you have actually met the other person. Your ideal of him is what you believe. But you don't know 100% certain if he is who he says he is. I know that it may have seemed real but only relationships can get your hopes up so high one minute and let you down so hard the next. Don't beat yourself up about it… you will heal and move on. In the future, wait until you get a chance to meet each other in person before you get too caught up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nork Posted November 21, 2013 Author Share Posted November 21, 2013 Nork, Don't blame yourself and keep your head up. You deserve to be treated with respect ! It's hard to keep my head up lately. I just feel lost because I can't do anything. I don't even know if I'll ever know why he left. And I keep racking my brain over and over, but I can't come up with a good reason to leave in such a way as he did. So sorry to hear but this is why I don't understand why people put such serious titles on things BEFORE meeting in person, spending time etc. when it's an "online romance." If you continue to do OLD, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE meet as quickly as possible. I know some people on here have successfully transitioned from online "bf gf" to the real world but they are the exception not the rule. You don't even know if he has proper hygiene, can hold a conversation in person, and all the little idiosyncrasies that come with an IRL meeting. My online "interest" and I pumped the breaks on things emotionally when we saw we were getting way too caught up before meeting. I've successfully transitioned from online to RL many times b/c I am discerning and not so hung up on "feelings" vs. practicalities. This gave me balanced and realistic expectations. While I am pretty confident this will be another successful transition should/when we meet in a few months, I still have to leave a little room for that other "what if." He probably met a real person in real life and decided that he was over the online thing. Doesn't make your feelings any less valid but we are not designed for perpetual robotic romance. He never met you so he didn't take you that seriously and that is perfectly practical. It was never confirmed/validated in person and he didn't view it as a real relationship so he finally got one outside of cyber space. He is a total prick and coward for how he handled you though; he knew how you felt and didn't care. I suggest no contact although I suspect you won't be hearing from this loser again. ::hugs:: We made sure to never even utter the words I love you, or get too unrealistic about what we had. We both knew we wouldn't be together for a while, and made sure to keep that in mind. But we also agreed to not flirt, hook up or do anything with anybody while we were together. And that never bothered me because that's just what I normally do when in a relationship. Hell, I Even asked him a few times if he would like to date anybody else? Was feeling suffocated? Or wanted any other woman. He always said no, and not to worry. All my other exes cheated on me. So I hope he didn't do that or just up and leave me for another. But with his sudden vanishing act, it seems that could really be the case. I know it's stupid... but I want to hear form that loser again to know why and what I did. But thank you *hugs*. Unfortunately, this is why I would always recommend never committing yourself or labelling yourself in a relationship unless you have actually met the other person. Your ideal of him is what you believe. But you don't know 100% certain if he is who he says he is. I know that it may have seemed real but only relationships can get your hopes up so high one minute and let you down so hard the next. Don't beat yourself up about it… you will heal and move on. In the future, wait until you get a chance to meet each other in person before you get too caught up. I guess with us having rules and feelings it just felt right to label ourselves in a relationship at the time. That's sadly true about them getting your hopes up high, and then let you down. And I defiantly will take even more precaution if I ever meet a guy online again. Thank you all for your replies. They helped a lot and let me see I shouldn't have been as trusting as I was. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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