Is there no way back?

[notthathard]

Nothing wrong with getting your stuff back. I wouldn't spark up a conversation with her about the relationship while there though.

I would just act strong & happy, get your stuff and leave with a quick goodbye.

[supportwanted]

Even though that's what I want more than anything is to get a chance to actually talk?

 

What if she apologises for the way things ended and how she ended it? Asks how i am? I don't have the advice of the forum in that situation straight away, I don't think i'm good with words when put on the spot and my emotions are running. I get the feeling i will cry if i am in her company in that situation for more than a couple of minutes.

[organizedchaos]

Even though that's what I want more than anything is to get a chance to actually talk?

 

What if she apologises for the way things ended and how she ended it? Asks how i am? I don't have the advice of the forum in that situation straight away, I don't think i'm good with words when put on the spot and my emotions are running. I get the feeling i will cry if i am in her company in that situation for more than a couple of minutes.

 

 

 

Then have a friend pick them up. You're not in a proper emotional estate to see her yet.

[notthathard]

Even though that's what I want more than anything is to get a chance to actually talk?

 

What if she apologises for the way things ended and how she ended it? Asks how i am? I don't have the advice of the forum in that situation straight away, I don't think i'm good with words when put on the spot and my emotions are running. I get the feeling i will cry if i am in her company in that situation for more than a couple of minutes.

 

Yeah as the above person said, get someone to pick them up if your going to cry. Showing your emotions to a woman who you were with isn't going to help you in this situation, it will just show she is stronger than you.

 

If she wanted to give you guys a second chance then she would find a way to make that happen. You still haven't accepted that its over, until then I wouldn't see her.

[fixing]

Even though that's what I want more than anything is to get a chance to actually talk?

 

What if she apologises for the way things ended and how she ended it? Asks how i am? I don't have the advice of the forum in that situation straight away, I don't think i'm good with words when put on the spot and my emotions are running. I get the feeling i will cry if i am in her company in that situation for more than a couple of minutes.

 

Bud, you are in no way shape or form ready to see her. Get a friend man. You go and cry in front of her will be just awful. She will feel nothing but pitty for you man, and that will not make her desire you.

 

Sorry to hear your still so cut up about this. Arrange for a friend to pick up your stuff, and back to NC.

[fixing]

Mate, your the Irish guy right? I just had to reread your thread because i got confused.

This is the girl who was saying with her friends 'God, cant he take a hint'

 

After all the humiliation and hurt she has caused you your still wanting her back?

You gotta stop this thinking man.

 

100% get a friend to collect your stuff and do not talk to her again man. She dropped you and trampled all over your fragile heart. She even hid from you in the store.

 

My advise? Go move to London, you said your from a small ****ty village. You will love London, and they will LOVE YOU TOO! English girls are crazy for the Irish.

 

Forget about this bitch. She is cold and uncaring to you and she is immature.

 

Time is wasting and your putting your life on hold for a girl who doesnt give a **** about you.

 

Lets do this, get the wheels in motion and hit London, i promise, after 2/3 weeks there you will be wondering why the hell you even started a thread about this girl.

Edited December 11, 2013 by fixing

[supportwanted]

I know, of course your right. It's just a matter of needing to almost tell myself, there you go, now you can go to London, you can start talking and dating again (not that i have really "dated" before). It's like I need her to just tell me to F... Off so I can then deal with it.

 

I got no closure. The way I feel, after thinking for so long about it. It's as though I believe firmly that she broke up with me because she was scared, because she didn't think I was ready for it. I firmly believe she is probably regretting it slightly, and that she would get back with me....maybe not straight away, but something big would have to happen. I know it sounds like i am making excuses, and maybe i am a bit, but I know this girl.

 

This sounds ridiculous right now. But i believe she won't find somebody like me. I don't think i'm a big shot, or that i'm super special. But i'm caring, loving and I respect a girl so much. I put absolutely everything i have into a relationship because that's just me. If i like you, i'm going to eventually love you. I almost feel sorry for her, because she made that decision, and it's so big that down the road she may regret it.

 

I'm just so scared that if i decide to move, we're both going to have lost each other for good. Sorry guys, very confused.

[supportwanted]

I really should erase her from my life. Show her how good a person I am. It's just downright hard.

[supportwanted]

Hey guys, just giving you an update. Been a tough week, all came crashing on me about half an hour ago when I just started to cry and let it out..

 

So I wen't out with some friends on Saturday night. Had a reasonable laugh on our way etc. I saw my ex in a bar we were at, she was with her sister and a friend. We passed by each other at one point, just a kind of nod of the head and a mumbled hello from both of us. Really quite awkward from me anyway in my head, not sure how it looked. We then passed each other again in another bar...again, awkward enough and the same thing. See what I mean, it's a small town.

 

Then, on Sunday, my mate wants to go for a few drinks, her sister is friends with us i guess, so she's with us...me, two mates and her sister all out together. I didn't find it massively awkward, her sister was friendly and is the type i think to not think about other stuff. My ex's name popped up in conversation between the other three at times, I didn't chime in at all.

 

THEN, we get to our final bar, one of my ex's best friends and the girl i spoiled her birthday apparently was there. She came talking to me, and we ended up talking for a long time, I apologised about my behavior that night and she was actually quite nice about it. She then said to me are me and my ex ok now, as in are we talking....I had to say well no unfortunately we're not. After that it was kind of time to head home.

 

Do you see what I mean about getting away from it? Impossible as it's such a small town, my friends are her sisters friends, her friends friends, and we are damn near always going to bump into each other.

 

My ex never did text me about getting that stuff back either. I haven't contacted her about it, I don't want to come across as though i am using an excuse or whatever.

 

I guess it's the holiday season and i am feeling very emotional about things. The fact that I won't have her beside me for Xmas, that I was so looking forward to more than anything. I need to make some sort of a move on this, because this is hurting me more than my heart can take.

 

I'd love to turn to her when i see her next, ask to talk for a second and try and agree to be friends, if not for the sake of everyone else and make it less awkward between us. But then again, why should it be me to do this? I'm not the one who dumped her.

 

Do i think i'm ready to be friends? Hell no, i'm so not over this. The only thing is, I don't want her out of my life, so if I have to be her friend to keep her in it, i'd try..

 

Love Sucks

[sw2020]

Dude, you don't NEED her in your life. You REALLY don't. You may really want her in your life, but then why? Now is a great time to learn and grow.

 

I've had a mare of a year falling in love with an emotionally unstable woman. I'm really confident and driven, but I allowed the relationship to drag me down. I've never bothered chasing after women, but I found myself doing everything I possibly could to appease this woman and failing miserably. I lost my manhood and my confidence. Now she's dumped me (4 weeks ago and the day after her having an abortion, but blaming me for everything), the one question I'm interested in answering is WHY I put up with that and what's important in moving forward to make sure I don't allow it to happen again.

 

I had three weeks of not seeing her. I went to the gym loads, ran, played footie, boxing, focussed on my business and got out with friends loads and I felt ace. Then when I was feeling so good, I met her. It set me back a week of progress. I hated it, ended up emailing something stupid before getting back on the progress wagon.

 

You have to believe you will become better, stronger and wiser for this experience. That is what will happen if you make it. I see very clearly the man I was before I met her and I'm in no doubt I will be even stronger than that when she's fully out of my system.

 

Keep strong dude. Great things often created from adversity.

[CaliGuy]

I'm glad you're making an effort to get away for a spell, if only to resist the temptation of finding ways to bump into her. A lot of things have happened, things you still need to process, and you have a wounded ego as well as a heart to look after. That WILL take time and introspective, and no one can begrudge that of you.

 

The feelings you've described - the wavering feeling that you're okay when you're not, the despair, the fear of being alone, the regret - are all perfectly normal and no one would ever blame you for that. I do feel however that you're still keeping this girl on too high a pedestal. She can't begin to give you the respect you deserve while you're literally telling her with your actions that she's better than you (she's not. No one is.)

 

Iv'e got some homework for you:

 

There's a thread doing the rounds here started by a member who is REALLY hung up on his ex (to the point where we think he might be a troll, he just won't take on board anything we've told him) anyway, another member, MrBossMan wrote this...AH-MAZING dissertation on what you need to do to heal yourself. I highly recommend you give it a read. I think it'll give you some perspective, if not some hope that things will get better for you.

 

THEN, I want you to read the NC guide that EVERY veteran LoveShacker knows. Make this guide your bible - read it every night if you have to - and tear this weed of a girl from your being, root and stem. True healing from the pain she caused you will only be achieved once she's no longer in your system.

 

 

Your happiness in life doesn't begin and end with this girl, believe me. It begins and ends with you. Love yourself, respect yourself and acknowledge every good aspect of yourself because you do have them. We know it and you need to know it too. Once you give yourself the love and respect you deserve, you'll never allow yourself to be humiliated like this again, I promise you.

 

Best of luck with everything. You CAN do this, and you CAN be happy again.

 

Meh. I still come around here every 4 months or so, just to see if there's anything I need to respond to but it looks like the new "veterans" have taken over. PST me here though because as I have said, I am not here very often.

 

Cheers!

 

CG