I am sooo Heatbroken. Can somebody me !!!

[Star4223]

I have been seeing my MM for 9 months. I has been filled with so many ups and downs I feel like i am on a ride. I am so full of hurt, insecurity, argryness and desparition and I dont know where to turn because even my and his few friends that know about us still don't understand just how I feel right now.

 

We like so many others on here did not start out thinking thing would be like this. We were friends from High School and because friends again. We just talked on FB and had many mutual friends and it just became a special friendship as we were just drawn to each other. We became intimate and very much a relationship just like any other. We have dinner together, go grocery shopping, I know some of his family as he knows some of mine. He also stay with me a couples of nights a week. Of course the difference is that he is married and has been for many years. I saw a post on here that sums it up. Even if he loves me and does not have a loving relationship or doesnt love his wife, he still loves his life and EVERYTHING else in it more than he loves me and I feel he will not ever give up his Farm, House, all the Toys he has and him being from the country he is surrounded by his family as well.

 

I am so exhausted of being in limbo and having no control of my relationship. I have relied on him like a drug to determine how my day was gonna be. Waiting to see if he was coming in town and staying with me, waiting for a phone call to see where he was, a facebook message to let me know he was thinking about me like I was him, ect...

 

So this past weekend his Wife found out about his Facebook Page from he co worker and saw that he didnt have her or any of their mutual friends or family on it and demanded he de-activate it and has also been monitoring his text message and phone calls. I found that out from a mutual friend that text him and he replies to please not send him any messages or texts, that friend also text him on Monday night and asked what was going on and got a reply back "Who the F**k is This?" so naturally I have not contacted him. At this point he has not contacted me either and I am heart Broken. I have so many questions going through my mind that I dont know where to turn, Like ... Has he erased all his friends off his phone and does not remember my phone number (i could not remember his my heart either since I just punch in his name and calls). Has he not went to work? (he is a truck driver) or Does he want to end it with me and just doesnt want to call and offer me and explaination? I feel so devistated because I know we share so much together, we are more than just lovers, he is my best friends and we share everything.

 

This just makes me feel so worthless. I feel I am deserving of some kind of explaiation. This relationship is just as real as any other in my heart and the not knowing what is going on is truely killing me!! I know he must know how I am feeling right now because we communicate EVERY day!!!

 

Somebody that has been through this please help me. Tell me what I can do???

[imfine]

You aren't going to like what I'm about to tell you. His wife knows and she's forced him to make a choice. He's a grown man and had he chose you, he'd be at your door, bags packed, with divorce papers in hand. He chose his wife instead.

 

The first thing you need to accept is that you may never receive an explanation. The second and last thing you need to do is go complete no contact to minimize the damage to both of your lives. I'm so sorry you are hurting. Godspeed.

[ByMyself01]

I am going through the same thing right now but a little different than you except he isn't married. He left me to go back to his child's mother and we used to talk EVERYDAY. I just fail to believe he doesn't want to talk to me because he replies to certain emails but I believe because he is going back to work out a relationship with his child's mother and she knows about me, she and his whole family will watch him closely to make sure he doesn't talk to me. Last time, he reached out to me after 9 days. This time, we are on day 7. But this is what I believe:

 

If someone really cares about you, they will eventually contact you even if they have to sneak to do it. Give it time and if he ever contacts you, you have your answer. But in reality, if he lets his wife keep him from speaking with you, then his heart is there and not with you. Also, if I were you, I wouldn't even allow him to do anymore creeping. When he comes back, if he does, you need to give him an ultimatum. Because either way, you will keep feeling bad everytime he disappears for a few days.

 

That's why when my ex does, or if he does, contact me, I will let him know that if we are going to be friends we will be just that, but I'm giving him nothing more than that since he is in a relationship.

[HopingAgain]

It sounds like your MM and his wife had a Dday. I will tell you what happened with us from the other side of the equation, when I found out about my husbands affair, I started monitoring everything too, even stuff he didn't know that I was monitoring. I also demanded that he make a choice and go NC. He chose to go NC when he discovered that I was not kidding around and he began to ignore the OWs attempts at contact, too. Some MM just disappear after a DDay happens and the wife knows about the affair. I'm sure you are starting to realize you deserve more, move on from this man!

[Arty54]

I was once the MM who was having an affair, I had it all, what we call on here a Cake eater, at the time I was blinded by the attention and love I was getting from the OW, she would have left her relationship for me but in the end my wife, kids and everything I had was just too much to give up.

In the end my wife had suspicions and after much heart break and hurt she divorced me, I lost everything and it just wasn't worth it!

 

I could have then hooked up with the OW but my heart was longer in it and just dropped her, broke her heart and I still carry the guilt today for ALL of it.

 

They, my ex and the OW are today in other relationships and are happy as far as I know, me on the other hand has just been dumped by the new love of my life, probably got my just desserts.

 

So what I'm saying to you, forget him, let him go, if it's meant to me things won't work out for him and his wife and he may come back to you, but he may not, so please go NC and don't waste your life waiting.

If he wants you he will reach out but you must start getting something else in a commitment from him otherwise you'll be in limbo like this for years.

[Quiet Storm]

When most MM get caught, OW immediately switches from being a benefit to a liability. So often times, this changes the whole dynamic.

 

Before discovery, MM views OW as a positive force in his life. Fun, escape, an indulgence, etc. She is an enhancement, a way to make his life better. When it is undiscovered, contact with OW is low risk & stress free. He has it all- the marriage, the stability & security of an intact family + the excitement of the OW. Life is good.

 

After discovery, MM often views her as a negative force in his life. She becomes associated with his wife's pain & suspicion, and she becomes his potential downfall. Contact with OW becomes a risk and is stressful for him. What he has to lose becomes very real.

 

To MM, his wife & his kids are permanent, necessary parts of him. OW is often seen as an extra indulgence, or a supplement to his already established life. Regardless of the status of his & his wife's romantic relationship, he married her and is committed to keeping the home/ family part of his life permanent. OW doesn't fit in with that, so she is the one that almost always becomes marginalized after a d-day. This is often very difficult for OW to accept because of the intense emotion that MM displayed.

 

His behavior should show you his intentions clearly. Ignoring you for days, making you worry, leaving you heartbroken are not loving or caring actions. They are the actions of a man that is only concerned for himself. He may love the way you make him feel, he may love the things you do for him, he may appreciate you for meeting his needs.... however, your pain is secondary to his desire to cover his butt and keep his life intact. His love can only go so deep before threatening his "real life".

 

Many OW feel that MM would not risk his marriage or life if he did not truly love her & intend to eventually leave. I've seen this rationalization many times.... why would he put all he loves at risk if OW wasn't worth it? The problem with this thought process is that most MM never think they will get caught, so it's not a risk yet (in his mind anyway). Some MM are also very confident that if he is caught, he will be able to smooth things over with his wife. He figures that since he wants to stay married, his wife will, too. Most times, he's right.

 

I know you are hurting and nothing I say can heal your pain. I will tell you that you should try to distance yourself emotionally from him as much as possible. You must protect yourself from the pain of him, because he surely is not going to. You must love yourself and care for yourself. If you love yourself like you would a sister, a best friend or a daughter- you can see clearly that you cannot make this man your whole life, when he does not show consideration for you.

 

It is likely he will be back in tough when he feels that the risk has died down. You need to prepare yourself for that, and decide what limits and boundaries you will have in place to protect your heart & emotional well being. He will take you on a roller coaster ride, but remember that you are the one choosing to get on the roller coaster. If you don't like not having control of your life, then take control. You give away your power by loving this man, and I think you see that. Take your power back by letting him go and choosing you.

Edited November 20, 2013 by Quiet Storm

[Star4223]

You aren't going to like what I'm about to tell you. His wife knows and she's forced him to make a choice. He's a grown man and had he chose you, he'd be at your door, bags packed, with divorce papers in hand. He chose his wife instead.

 

The first thing you need to accept is that you may never receive an explanation. The second and last thing you need to do is go complete no contact to minimize the damage to both of your lives. I'm so sorry you are hurting. Godspeed.

 

 

No his wife didnt find out because believe me she would have called me. I know that for a fact. I do understand that he may not ever choose me and that what I have to deal with as much as it hurts.

[Star4223]

The thing of it is, is that she has not found out about me, just that he has a Facebook without her permission. She is controlling and dont allow friends of anykind outside the home. I do believe he has erased all his friends telephone numbers from his phone. I am probably grasping at straws and do know that id he was planning on leaving in the spring that he would not give her all of the control in his life. I do know for a fact that his marriage is controlling and abusive because of his friends that dont even know about our relationship, but the fact is he has still no left let.

 

At this point I am desparate to talk to him to find out where thing are and I am not sure if he wants to hear from me or not, I keep feeling like he is like. Why hasnt she called? She knows I erased my phone numbers so she couldnt call me friends. But I just dont want to, I dont wanna be hurt if this is not the case. I do realize this all sounds so juvenile since we are both in our late 40's. I just so torn right that I dont know where my head is

[Quiet Storm]

The thing of it is, is that she has not found out about me, just that he has a Facebook without her permission. She is controlling and dont allow friends of anykind outside the home. I do believe he has erased all his friends telephone numbers from his phone. I am probably grasping at straws and do know that id he was planning on leaving in the spring that he would not give her all of the control in his life. I do know for a fact that his marriage is controlling and abusive because of his friends that dont even know about our relationship, but the fact is he has still no left let.

 

At this point I am desparate to talk to him to find out where thing are and I am not sure if he wants to hear from me or not, I keep feeling like he is like. Why hasnt she called? She knows I erased my phone numbers so she couldnt call me friends. But I just dont want to, I dont wanna be hurt if this is not the case. I do realize this all sounds so juvenile since we are both in our late 40's. I just so torn right that I dont know where my head is

 

She may not know who you are, but she knows something is up with him. She's in detective mode.

 

You say she is controlling... but that is likely just a reaction to being with someone like him. You come across as if she has no reason to be this way, but he is a liar & a cheater. Don't let your emotions keep you from seeing his true character.

 

Most controlling & abusive relationships have an underlying dynamic that keeps them together. I call it the "dysfuncational dance". So while she may try to control him like a mean mommy, and he gets back at her by cheating and keeping secrets... they are both getting something out of this. It may be unhealthy, it may be dysfunctional...but don't take that as a sign that he's on his way out. An unhealthy bond can be stronger than a healthy one. You don't want to be a pawn in their sick game.

 

Deleting a phone # doesn't mean he can't find it. All he has to do is look at his phone bills online to find your number. If it will settle your mind, call him so at least you won't be thinking he lost your number.

[Star4223]

Quite Storm. Thanks for the post. He purchased a Pre Paid Phone plan so there is no call record. He did that at the beginnign of our relationship so she couldnt track the calls. I just so torn about calling me. I feel if it was important he would walk to my house to reach me if neccesary, you know?

 

I am sure your right about the type of relationship they have, but he told me before our relationship got started that he had love for his wife, but not a romantic one. However it is strong enough for him to stay I guess. Its all very hurtful.

[Quiet Storm]

Most prepaid phones have call records. You don't get a bill, you just have to go on the providers website & log in with your phone #. I know for a fact that you can do this with Virgin Mobile, Boost & Trac Phone prepaid.

 

I do feel if it was important to him, he would find a way to contact you. If you call him, even to just hang up, at least you will know he has your phone #. Right now, you are thinking that he can't contact you. It might help you to move on if you know that he is just choosing not to contact you- instead of not being able to.

 

For many men, commitment trumps romantic love. They want the romantic experiences, but do not want to change their life for it.

 

If he came right out and said "I love you, but I'm not leaving my wife. Will you still be my OW?", would that be acceptable to you?

[Lola Roberts]

Hi STAR4223,

 

I do completely know how you feel. I think you should re-gain control of the situation and tell him you're moving on - and move on. This relationship isn't good for you. If he really loved you, he wouldn't let you be in limbo. Let him go and let yourself heal. You DO NOT need him to be happy. He's holding you back from happiness. Also, fast forward things a little. Even if he did leave her, wold it work between you? Would you be able to trust him? Let go and yo'll be amazed how liberated you feel.

[Star4223]

It is the 6 day I have not heard from him. Not only me, but any of our friends. I am so hurt, broken, devastated, betrayed. I just feel so worthless and unloved. I don't feel like anyone understands how much pain I feel. I miss him so badly that it feels like i am bleeding to death. I can't eat, but thank god I can sleep, it my only escape from the pain I have. The thing is I know he must realize how I feel and that I think is the hardest part. I wake up in the middle of the night and lay there and wonder where he is? How could he hurt me so badly? As I am writing this even, I am fighting back the tears because I am at work and have to put on a happy face to clients. Everywhere I am I look for him, every Semi Truck that I see on the interstate I look for him. I feel like im so broken....

Edited November 21, 2013 by Star4223

[Lola Roberts]

Okay Star. It may feel like it but we're not gonna feel like this forever. So, some practical things that will help:

 

1. Keep busy and spend time with close friends.

2. Try and eat as this will help you to feel better.

3. Try to exercise as this produces endorphines, which is what or body produces when we're in love. So, even though yo might feel like this is the last thing you wanna do, force yourself to go for a run or swim. IT WILL HELP!

4. Try to learn something you've always wanted to e.g. a new language etc.

 

This relationship is toxic so you really are better off. Recite that to yourself ten times a day. Feel the pain and don't fight it but be around people. Be around nice male friends as well who will reinforce that this relationship you've been in was not normal or right and that you're worth SO much more. Like I said before, I've had weeks of utter devastation with the guy I was involved with. The honest truth is they're not empathising with how we feel because they're focused on how they're feeling. They're looking after themselves. Now yo need to look after yourself. I think you would be better focusing now on what got you into this relationship/made you stay in it and working on your own self esteem so that NOBODY ever lets yo be in a situation of limbo and emotional destrction like this again.

 

All the best and know that you're not alone:)

 

Lola

[LimeBlue]

At the end of the day, she is the one he choose to put the ring on. You have been discarded. Move on. You will come off second best.

[Star4223]

It is day 7 and no contact with me. Not just me, but he will not pick up any phone calls from our friends. I myself have not tried to call, I don't want to be hurt when he don't answer my call. If he hasn't called me, then I know he doesn't want to talk to me. This has been the longest we have not spoken. It still hurts like hell!! It really feels like somebody I love very much has died. I may never see or speak to him again. I may never have any explaination of what happened.

 

I know I have went through his mind a few times and he has completely dismissed me. I keep thinking that maybe he is relieved to be rid of me and that he will not have to worry about the turmoil in his life anymore. That his

life will be easier without me in it and that makes me want to break down. Boy, the self torture we put ourselves threw.

[imfine]

She knows. He's doing whatever it takes to appease her. You probably won't get an explanation. I'm so sorry.

[Sky23]

Okay Star. It may feel like it but we're not gonna feel like this forever. So, some practical things that will help:

 

1. Keep busy and spend time with close friends.

2. Try and eat as this will help you to feel better.

3. Try to exercise as this produces endorphines, which is what or body produces when we're in love. So, even though yo might feel like this is the last thing you wanna do, force yourself to go for a run or swim. IT WILL HELP!

4. Try to learn something you've always wanted to e.g. a new language etc.

 

This relationship is toxic so you really are better off. Recite that to yourself ten times a day. Feel the pain and don't fight it but be around people. Be around nice male friends as well who will reinforce that this relationship you've been in was not normal or right and that you're worth SO much more. Like I said before, I've had weeks of utter devastation with the guy I was involved with. The honest truth is they're not empathising with how we feel because they're focused on how they're feeling. They're looking after themselves. Now yo need to look after yourself. I think you would be better focusing now on what got you into this relationship/made you stay in it and working on your own self esteem so that NOBODY ever lets yo be in a situation of limbo and emotional destrction like this again.

 

All the best and know that you're not alone:)

 

Lola

 

Omg what amazing insight and advice.

 

@bold - my favourite part

[Jules78]

I've been there and I'm NOT proud of it at all! I still feel guilt for the pain the wife experienced. I fell for all of the crap he told me about the marriage being on the rocks, the wife being a horrible person, yada yada. They did not have children together. Both had grown children from previous marriages. The MM I was with stayed when his wife found out but he only stayed for one week. That week was brutal for me. He eventually left her for me. I was so far gone by then I welcomed him happily. We lasted 3 years. Guess what killed us eventually? I didn't respect him or trust him and I began to resent him for leaving his wife for me! It's a dangerous, hurtful way to live and it is NOT worth it! Start healing now and don't look back. You'll only hurt worse later. He will eventually do the same to you if you do not get out now! A man who does not value his marriage is not a man you want to be with. Trust me! Run!

[whichwayisup]

I have been seeing my MM for 9 months. I has been filled with so many ups and downs I feel like i am on a ride. I am so full of hurt, insecurity, argryness and desparition and I dont know where to turn because even my and his few friends that know about us still don't understand just how I feel right now.

 

We like so many others on here did not start out thinking thing would be like this. We were friends from High School and because friends again. We just talked on FB and had many mutual friends and it just became a special friendship as we were just drawn to each other. We became intimate and very much a relationship just like any other. We have dinner together, go grocery shopping, I know some of his family as he knows some of mine. He also stay with me a couples of nights a week. Of course the difference is that he is married and has been for many years. I saw a post on here that sums it up. Even if he loves me and does not have a loving relationship or doesnt love his wife, he still loves his life and EVERYTHING else in it more than he loves me and I feel he will not ever give up his Farm, House, all the Toys he has and him being from the country he is surrounded by his family as well.

 

I am so exhausted of being in limbo and having no control of my relationship. I have relied on him like a drug to determine how my day was gonna be. Waiting to see if he was coming in town and staying with me, waiting for a phone call to see where he was, a facebook message to let me know he was thinking about me like I was him, ect...

 

So this past weekend his Wife found out about his Facebook Page from he co worker and saw that he didnt have her or any of their mutual friends or family on it and demanded he de-activate it and has also been monitoring his text message and phone calls. I found that out from a mutual friend that text him and he replies to please not send him any messages or texts, that friend also text him on Monday night and asked what was going on and got a reply back "Who the F**k is This?" so naturally I have not contacted him. At this point he has not contacted me either and I am heart Broken. I have so many questions going through my mind that I dont know where to turn, Like ... Has he erased all his friends off his phone and does not remember my phone number (i could not remember his my heart either since I just punch in his name and calls). Has he not went to work? (he is a truck driver) or Does he want to end it with me and just doesnt want to call and offer me and explaination? I feel so devistated because I know we share so much together, we are more than just lovers, he is my best friends and we share everything.

 

This just makes me feel so worthless. I feel I am deserving of some kind of explaiation. This relationship is just as real as any other in my heart and the not knowing what is going on is truely killing me!! I know he must know how I am feeling right now because we communicate EVERY day!!!

 

Somebody that has been through this please help me. Tell me what I can do???

 

You can't do anything. There was a D-Day, his wife found out and now your affair is over. I know you're hurting and this sucks, you miss him and are having withdrawals having not talked to him.

 

He is closed himself off and this is how he's chosen to handle it, as well as his wife has told him to make a decision (which is cut you out and focus on the marriage), and he chose his wife.

 

Let yourself cry and grieve this loss. Don't reach out to him and tell your friends to stop texting him too. He's asked to be left alone, that has to be respected.

 

Affairs are not forever, that's the thing. As much as you love him and think he's your best friend, it was all in an affair setting on the expense of his wife and kids (if he has any).

 

Looking back, how often was he 'truly' there for you? Was it on his terms and time frame?

 

Sharing someone you love with someone else is not healthy, so again, as painful as this is for you, you will heal once the pain goes away.

 

Reach out to friends and family to help you cope, even seek therapy if need be.

 

Don't let this ruin you.

[whichwayisup]

It is day 7 and no contact with me. Not just me, but he will not pick up any phone calls from our friends. I myself have not tried to call, I don't want to be hurt when he don't answer my call. If he hasn't called me, then I know he doesn't want to talk to me. This has been the longest we have not spoken. It still hurts like hell!! It really feels like somebody I love very much has died. I may never see or speak to him again. I may never have any explaination of what happened.

 

I know I have went through his mind a few times and he has completely dismissed me. I keep thinking that maybe he is relieved to be rid of me and that he will not have to worry about the turmoil in his life anymore. That his

life will be easier without me in it and that makes me want to break down. Boy, the self torture we put ourselves threw.

 

It is like a death. Of a friendship, of someone you loved, of the affair itself.

 

The explanation is, his wife found out about the affair and he chose to stay with his wife. Somehow you need to make peace with it (in time of course) and just accept that you knew going in he was married, chances of him leaving were probably not ever going to happen.

 

Good thing is? That emotional roller coaster you were on, the highs and lows is over. The drama, heartache, sharing him, the pain, confusion, worrying when and if you'd be caught, having to put up with him going home and feeling second fiddle - All of that is gone. This pain you feel now is final. You will work through this and come out of this stronger and wiser.

 

Stop focusing so much on him, and focus on yourself. The why's and how's of what he is thinking you'll never find out.

 

Affairs mess everybody up and the pain that is felt all around is devastating.

[wanting more]

I understand what you're going thru. My A lasted 3-1/2 yrs. talking everyday. Seeing each other most days. There was even a d-day #1. We didn't stop talking. He bought a different phone to call me. Things slowed a little but I knew he was making plans to leave and be with me. I accepted the scraps he gave because I wanted to be with him. And damn her for "making" him stop talking to me like we did before.

 

Then d-day #2. And NOTHING. no phone calls. No texts. No emails. Nothing. I felt I was dying inside. I knew he loved me. How could he hurt me like this. I was hurt, confused, worried, angry. I cried myself to sleep and when I woke up I started crying again. I cried at work. I cried in my car. I couldn't understand. Days turned into weeks. Then the hurt subsided and the anger came out. Anger because I realized she wasn't "making" him do anything. HE CHOSE her. That's the toughest thing to come to terms with. But eventually you will. You'll have to. You will probably never get an explanation. But in time you won't need one.

 

6-7 months after the 2nd d-day xMM called my work phone. Professing his love for me. He stayed so he wouldn't lose his kids. Blah. Blah. Blah. There were many calls. Late night on my work phone, asking me to call him. Not even enough balls to call when he knew I was there. Those calls didn't make my heart flutter. They pi**ed me off. He knew I loved him. He knew I wanted to be with him. He knew I wanted him. His actions showed me he didn't give a shi* about me.

 

I saw him a couple months ago. He had the nerve to smile and walk towards me, as if we were friends. I got up and made it obvious we were not going to talk.

 

You can get passed this. It's not easy. But you can.

 

He's MADD his choice. Now make yours, and become stronger. Don't let him bring you down. Move on.

[Cdngirl5279]

It won't feel like this forever. I'm about 5 weeks out from the end of my A and dday, and I feel a million times better now versus a few days after. Please take care of yourself. You deserve someone that can give you 100% of their time, not the leftover bits. Take it a day, or an hour at a time. Keep busy, try to eat small meals, and get active! It will get better, I've been there.

[Star4223]

Thanks for the reply's. A friend of our's text him this weekend to see if he was okay. She then text me to let me know she had reached him. Not anything positive though. When she asked him if he he owed me an explaination for what was going on he basically said that he was sorry I had put up with his stupid ass and that he had given me the green light to move on if thing were too difficult for me. I know him VERY well he handles this stress with humor and made a few jokes and although I am not handling it that way I know he would. I sent him a text as well and he said nothing about ending things with me only that his wife had found out about his Facebook and that he had her blocked. He had to miss an entire week of work because she gave him a black eye and that he had to lock himself in the bathroom because she chased him around the house with a knife and kicked a couple of dents in his car. I am sure its over between us because if he really cared he would been a little concerned with my welfare and didnt really show any affection for me. Its really hard to believe that the man you love and couldnt wait to see you a week and a half ago, someone that you were planning a vacation with, someone that would choose a job so that you could spend more time together, that would hold you and kiss you and be so happy to see you would suddenly act as if they never ever cared for you and that they dont miss you at all. I am still crying daily, The really hard time are first thing in the morning and at night when I am lying in the bed wondering what he is doing at that moment. I haven even changes the sheet because he just slept there with me less than 2 weeks ago. I just feels like a BIG hole in my heart, such an emptiness and almost unbearable. I just want to feel better. I am afraid to hot ever hear from him, what to say to him if he calls. I know I need to put it in my head that he is not ever gonna call me and that its over. I am just hoping that he realizes that he needs me. I know that a STUPID thing to wish for and that its for the best for me to move on, but I am so in love with him. I just can't think of my life without him in it!!

[ByMyself01]

Thanks for the reply's. A friend of our's text him this weekend to see if he was okay. She then text me to let me know she had reached him. Not anything positive though. When she asked him if he he owed me an explaination for what was going on he basically said that he was sorry I had put up with his stupid ass and that he had given me the green light to move on if thing were too difficult for me. I know him VERY well he handles this stress with humor and made a few jokes and although I am not handling it that way I know he would. I sent him a text as well and he said nothing about ending things with me only that his wife had found out about his Facebook and that he had her blocked. He had to miss an entire week of work because she gave him a black eye and that he had to lock himself in the bathroom because she chased him around the house with a knife and kicked a couple of dents in his car. I am sure its over between us because if he really cared he would been a little concerned with my welfare and didnt really show any affection for me. Its really hard to believe that the man you love and couldnt wait to see you a week and a half ago, someone that you were planning a vacation with, someone that would choose a job so that you could spend more time together, that would hold you and kiss you and be so happy to see you would suddenly act as if they never ever cared for you and that they dont miss you at all. I am still crying daily, The really hard time are first thing in the morning and at night when I am lying in the bed wondering what he is doing at that moment. I haven even changes the sheet because he just slept there with me less than 2 weeks ago. I just feels like a BIG hole in my heart, such an emptiness and almost unbearable. I just want to feel better. I am afraid to hot ever hear from him, what to say to him if he calls. I know I need to put it in my head that he is not ever gonna call me and that its over. I am just hoping that he realizes that he needs me. I know that a STUPID thing to wish for and that its for the best for me to move on, but I am so in love with him. I just can't think of my life without him in it!!

 

The thing about your situation is that you seem to have more love for him than he has for you (if he even has any) and you really deserve someone who will pt you first. If he really felt for you, he would have been left his wife. If you say she chased him with a knife and dented his car and if that craziness is not enough for him to leave, then I don't know what to tell you. The best thing to do is to move on. And are you sure she really chased him with a knife or is that what he tells you just to get you to back off?