Fixed* Ex Girlfriend being cold

[Iguanna]

I accept that its the past but I don't understand her motive for this... What's the point in making it worse than it is.

 

You will never find out about this. Stop obsessing, for god's sake...

[Phantomu]

Sorry, it's just a hard day. It's thanksgiving and all I can think about is what last thanksgiving was like.. It's tough and i'm trying. There's just down time in between going different places today and it sets in. I had a great night last night with a great friend who helped me feel so much better. I try to keep that head on. That I can do this and it will be alright and I try to remember what everyone has told me. Even reread everything. It helps me stay confident. I just miss her today. The person that broke my heart. I'm trying. I hope everyone is having a good Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for you guys.

[Iguanna]

I don't exactly know what Thanksgiving is, but I don't understand some of our holidays as well I understand that it's hard to remember past nice times. Don't be harsh on yourself. Try to keep yourself occupied, even if it is playing a game, reading a book, watch a movie etc. Try to accept every possible invite of friends and relatives, even if you are not in the mood. Take a book and go to starbucks and read. Being around people will be helpful, hear them laugh etc. Convince yourself that you are going through a bad period in your life and soon you will be one of the people laughing and having fun as well. I'm sending you all my support.

[Phantomu]

thanks Iguanna. You're the best. Happy thanksgiving from the US

[Iguanna]

How are you today my friend? If I don't hear from you I assume you are good or bad?

[Phantomu]

I'm doin alright today. Days when I can't get to my friends are the worst. I'm wondering if I should pay the remaining amount of money for that bill or if I should just forget about it

[Iguanna]

What bill?

[Phantomu]

we had a remaining utility bill that I already paid $100 when she ignored me then asked for it.. Now there's a final one and given the way she has treated me I'm unsure if I should after the stuff she said. Like leave me alone. I dunno what to do

[Iguanna]

Leave her alone, as she asked. That's a past story which shouldn't concern you anymore. If she wanted you to pay your part of the bill she should have kept at least a typical good relationship. She chose not to, she chose to become mean for no obvious reason, so why should you be the good person again? Don't bother, is my opinion. We say in my country "she made her bed, let her sleep in it".

 

I'm sending you my support

[Phantomu]

So if don't pay it won't she just be even more angry?

[Iguanna]

She didn't care for your feelings, why would you care for hers? And why do you care what she feels anyway? Haven't you moved on yet?????

[Phantomu]

Well to be honest, not quite.

[Iguanna]

You have to start doing other things than thinking of her....

[Phantomu]

Okay everyone sorta news?

 

Today my mom wanted to eat at the place she works. My mom goes there all the time. Well I agreed and tried to make sure she wasn't there. So we go there and BOOM there she was. She immediately came to our table to serve us and she looked extremely nervous.(she could of easily asked another waitress to serve us though.) I didn't say really anything to her and my mom made some small talk with her to which she went on about how things were with the kids and how they got a new pet in the house and smiled at me a few times. Well I had her keys and gave them back and she said,"Oh thanks". She looked really nervous even looked like she was about to cry when serving other customers.. I did not expect to see her there. She was doing things like whistling and singing to herself (which isn't something she ever really did.) I also noticed her looking at me quite a few time but I didn't try to make eye contact. She was also sweeping by us alot as if she was trying to hear the convo I was having. We finished our meal and talked a while then I paid for the check. I also tipped her pretty good. (just taking the high road.) We left and she said bye to us and looked at me..I don't know if I messed up by seeing her...I don't know why she looked the way she did.. I hope I didn't make it worse. I just don't know. She seemed more than happy to talk to us but it's strange since she doesn't want to talk to me at all....Have at it guys.

[Iguanna]

I'm really close to stop replying to you. This is the news in your life? Running over your ex WHO WAS CLEAR SHE BROKE UP WITH YOU and she looked at you and you tipped her? Don't you have any other news not having to do with her? I've been honest with you and I won't stop now. You are ilusional and you start to seem pathetic with this matter. I explained to you many times that you should live your life, she is 10 years older, she has kids, you were LUCKY that she left you or else you would raise her kids and you would never have the chance to make your own family. WAKE THE F.. UP.

[Haydn]

Iganna is right mate! Stop this.

I'm really close to stop replying to you. This is the news in your life? Running over your ex WHO WAS CLEAR SHE BROKE UP WITH YOU and she looked at you and you tipped her? Don't you have any other news not having to do with her? I've been honest with you and I won't stop now. You are ilusional and you start to seem pathetic with this matter. I explained to you many times that you should live your life, she is 10 years older, she has kids, you were LUCKY that she left you or else you would raise her kids and you would never have the chance to make your own family. WAKE THE F.. UP.

[Phantomu]

I don't know what is wrong with me. I was doing so well.. Why am I this way guys? Why was I hopeful? I feel stupid for feeling this way...I feel weak.

[Iguanna]

When you believe that all this is over and allow yourself to move on and be dedicated to only your happiness, then you will feel better. Once you meet someone new also you will remember this only as a nightmare and regret for losing all this time.

[Phantomu]

I made alot of progress and then the whole incident set me back again. I'm going to avoid doing this now... It sucks how easy it is to mess up all of your hard work. I'm trying to move forward. Just trying to avoid those memories for a while and feelings.. I feel like a prisoner to myself right now. So i've got to stop and get control of my life. Heartbreak is so rough on your body and mind.

[laddie]

Don't beat yourself up about it. It's really hard to make sensible decisions when you're in pain.

Just remember in future, the more you act hurt and needy to her the more unlikely she'll want you. Best to avoid all contact with her from now on.

Things will get better eventually!

[Phantomu]

Thanks guys.. I've really needed the push you all have been giving me. Believe me it's definitely made it easier to pick the pieces up. I feel like it's getting easier still even though I saw her. She is just not a nice person. Not who I thought she was and I would never do this to her. I guess her true colors are there now though. She is a coward for not being able to face me in those times where she said bad things about me. I never talked badly about her, even now...

People are unpredictable. I want to be able to trust someone again.. I have gain knowledge I can't lose now. I hope I find someone wonderful who wouldn't do this to me one day.

[Iguanna]

You can't give up on people cause of a bad experience you had. Learn from it, take the wisdom and open your wings to fly some place else. Remember to always be smart, connect the pieces of the puzzle to find who is truthful or who is trying to take advantage of you. Only by trusting someone will you earn trust on people again. Or you should just open a grave and get in. No. You got to fight. Life is all about fighting. Nothing comes easy.

[Phantomu]

Getting better at fighting the feelings I have. It's still tough realizing how wrong everything is but I am occupying my self with friends and doing my best to see things how they are.trying not to expect anything. It's a rough road. I would never wish this on anyone but I guess time will tell. You never want to feel unloved, hated, loathed. These feelings really set you back as a person entirely.

While it's all in mind and body you can't fight love, good or bad. You have dreams and ideas of a life with this person that are laid to rest. Maybe temporarily or maybe forever. It's hard to accept but I feel like acceptance is the best cure because you can do nothing to change it. You think, man...If I could have done it differently, if I could go back in time I could have avoided these things..But could you? You'll never know.

I hope everyone hurting right now can just try to accept things and stop themselves from making more mistakes. I made alot of mistakes post-breakup like contacting her and texting.. Not going out of my way to avoid her and it pushed her further away. If anyone else reads this and the break up is fresh or even months in I just want to tell them. STOP!! Stop yourself! It feels like the right thing to do and you think you are doing the right thing..You think to yourself,"Well maybe if I text or call her then I can get to her somehow." No....You can't....She has to decide...You can't push it. You have to stop. It sucks but you gotta do it for yourself.

Regardless of how anything goes you have to just realize that they are not with you anymore and you can't change that by yourself...People may miss you and love you but they still see you in a different light at the moment. My situation..Who knows if she'll ever try and speak to me again. While I feel like it's nothing we couldn't have fixed. I have no power over her decision.

Memories and past is the only thing on my side in this. My ability to change for myself and become a better man. I feel sorry for everyone going through this but the truth is that we can make it through. No matter how much you love them you can't change them. They have to do it themselves. If they don't want to forgive you that's up to them. If they don't want you back, that's up to them. The same can be said in reverse.

I will continue to keep my head up and realize that just because I lost what I feel right now was the love of my life.. My life isn't over yet. YOUR LIFE ISN'T OVER YET! You have yourself and that's the strongest ally in your fight to be happy. YOU. You are important and no one should make you feel like you aren't good enough for them because YOU ARE.

I hope my words can help recent dumpees that feel like there is no hope for them because in reality, there is always hope. It might not be in your ex but there is always hope for a better, brighter future in your life. It sucks SO BAD I know and you don't want to believe itI...Don't want to believe it

 

But I have to...There's nothing we can do. Enjoy your life..It's the only one you have. If they don't want to be apart of it then think of it as this. EVEN THOUGH YOU LOVE THEM AND CAN'T FORGET ABOUT THEM!

 

It's their loss

[Iguanna]

How is it going?

[Phantomu]

Hey! Things are getting better for me. Although i'm not sure if it's a good idea, I've befriended a couple of girls and they have been talking to me quite a bit lately. I'm sorta interested in them but I'm not trying to rush into anything. It has really helped me a lot to talk to them. It really helps me see that I have value and i'm starting to feel like an attractive guy again.

She is dangling in the back of my mind though. I've started to not worry so much about what she's doing or what she will do, or if she will even talk to me again. The more I look at it that way the more I start to feel different about her. She hurt me and left me to just deal with it, with nothing.

 

But my life has started to turn around a bit. There are job opportunities open for me with AWESOME pay and also a way to get away from town, I also got a new apartment that I can move into at the beginning of the year. But i'm not doing this all for her. I'm doing it for myself and If she ever does come back around I know I will feel more confident and different than before. Before I was weak, but now I think my feelings are changing.

 

I woke up one morning with clarity and realized how bad the way this was all handled. Not on my part but hers. She is pretty immature for her age and also has extremely high expectations for being someone who doesn't do much herself. If that's her life then who am I to change that? I'll admit I did some pathetic things I wish I never did post break up. Made me look weak and needy. But i'm starting to realize I don't NEED her. As much as that sucks and my heart tells me I do, my mind thinks otherwise.

 

I've seen her in public once since that last time and she just walked right by me with sort of a half smile on her face. I kept moving and didn't acknowledge her. But I was a bit offended that she can't even be civil and that's what leads me to feeling angry about the situation. I gave her my heart and she stepped on it and now she's treating me like the dirt she walks on. I don't need that ****. So I am done being a doormat and made to feel like fighting to keep her was wrong. If she can throw all of those memories away then I don't need her. I will probably always care about her and her children. Even love them in some way but I refuse to be made into a fool. Thanks for asking Iguanna. I'll be in and out of here from time to time. Hope you're having a happy holiday season!