UpsetMom Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 Hello to all. My situation is about my son. He is 32 and has been married 9 years and is divorcing her now, but she will not accept his decision. His wife is a very controlling person and is very selfish. I know my son isn't perfect, but during their engagement our church offered to give them a nice wedding reception and she refused this. My sisters and sisters-in-law offered the same, but she wasn't willing to do this because her mother couldn't afford to give her twin sister a reception so she wasn't going to let them have one. My dil ended up buying the 2 cakes by the way. She has never had anything to do with our side of the family. We stopped by to ask them out to dinner one night, I knocked at the door with her standing there seeing me, and she turned around and walked the other way. She never comes to our home and has shunned us for the whole marriage. The final straw for me was when my sisters and I planned my fathers 80th birthday part and she wouldn't come. I have known for several years that my son has been miserable. She had him down to only being around her family and one male friend of her choice. He left her 4 months ago and after divorce papers were filed he has started seeing someone else. DIL has been harassing him with texts everday, will call 10-15 times in a row, writing letters to God everyday asking Him to break him down and convict him and get slapped in the face. They built a home by ours on land that we gave our son and she will not leave. He is staying with us. She has stalked him trying to find out what he is doing. Whether he is right or wrong he is not bothering her and trying to keep his life private and not flaunt anything in her face. I am just upset as a mother and am trying to love my son and help him through this. Because I haven't told him to go home and fix his marriage I am being called a sinner and a bad parent. I just feel frustrated and need to vent. Link to post Share on other sites
jm2013 Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 Do they have children? If not, why not change the phone numbers and file a restraining order? It sounds like she's crazy. If he's already started a relationship with somebody else it's obvious he wants to move forward with his life without her. And I'm not sure why you're shouldering the blame. Your son is a 32yr old man and should be able to make his own decisions. Still give him the motherly love and advice but let him make his own decisions which already sound like he's done already. Hope he has spoken to a lawyer already. If that house or property has any sentimental value he should try to keep it. Or just force the property into sale. Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 (edited) Deleted my post. Didn't think it would help make any difference. Yas Edited November 21, 2013 by Yasuandio 1 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 As his Mom - it's best to stay out of it. Tell him you love him and hope he can find happiness. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 . Because I haven't told him to go home and fix his marriage I am being called a sinner and a bad parent. Who called you this??? Your DIL? Her family? You have the right to protect your privacy and your property. If she is coming on your property or bothering you, you have the right to file a restraining order on her. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 You love your child & hate to see him upset. About the only thing you can do at this point is give him shelter which you are doing & perhaps pay for a good divorce lawyer. Other than that, keep your opinions to yourself & say reassuring things like we know you will make the right decision. FWIW, 15 calls per day is harassment. There are laws against that. You may want to gently remind your son of that but don't be surprised if he doesn't want her arrested. Link to post Share on other sites
littlejaz Posted November 22, 2013 Share Posted November 22, 2013 Your son needs to talk to his/an attorney about the harassment. There are ways to stop it legally but it is up to your son to enforce it. Don't let other people define how you think of yourself. Sounds to me like you are a loving, caring parent and yes you are a sinner - we are all - but not because you support your son in getting out of a bad marriage. And I agree, if there are no children change phone numbers. Keep your chin up, this too will end. Link to post Share on other sites
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