A mom wants me to date her daughter. So how do I make the initial contact?

[galaxyman]

I've never had anything like this happen to me. A co-worker asks me to accept her daughter's invite on facebook so she can check me out. How do I make the initial contact?:

 

"Uh. Hi. I think your mom wants me to hit on you. Wanna hang out sometime?"

(lol I'm kidding here. But it's so awkward, I might as well say this.)

 

She's 25. I'm 27.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

I think that the best defense is a great offense, in that case.

 

Instead of (trying to figure out how to make this seeming fix-up seem accidental and random), why not contact the girl and be direct in saying "I think your mom wants to fix us up, and this is (emboldened) me reaching toward you in print. Tell me if you'd like to get coffee together one day soon, so I can at least get a better read on your mother's direct approach."

 

 

(then, when you get there, it is OK to talk about the mom, but not in the area of real office gossip and the like) If the mom embarrasses the daughter in front of every guy the daughter has ever dated, that stuff is OK subject matter (when with the daughter in person)... but it isn't OK to talk about who has been having office affairs with whom, etc.

[ScreamingTrees]

If you really think she's cute, go for it, I agree with SOG. Better to be unapologetically to the point.

 

So if the girl already knows, just let her know that you DO know what's up, and you're interested.

[ThomasD]

. . . A co-worker asks me to accept her daughter's invite on facebook . . .

If I understand this correctly, the daughter is already aware of you for some reason. Perhaps mom has mentioned something like "There's this really smart guy at work . . . and he's cute, too . . . ". So just reply in-kind, e.g., "Your mom talks about you quite a bit and you seem like somebody I'd really like to meet.". There's no reason to fake a "chance" meeting - in fact, pretending to know less than you do will probably be seen as insincere on your part.

 

Since you, mom, and daughter all seem to be in-the-loop in some sense on this, maybe you could prevail on her to be the initial go-between. Maybe something like, "Mary sounds like a great girl. Is there any chance the three of us could get together for (lunch, happy hour, the company golf tournament, etc)?".

 

I was 22 when a much older family friend (my parents' age) suggested that I should meet her niece. My attitude was along the lines of "What the heck - it can't hurt.". A week later I had the niece's name and address, with her knowledge and permission. There was a few hundred miles of distance, so we wrote, sight unseen, for over 3 months. When we finally did meet in person, the aunt was at my elbow to serve as facilitator, buffer, chaperone, etc - but within seconds it was clear that none of that was required. About a year after that initial meeting I married the niece, and we celebrated 39 years this past summer.