Should I keep the baby?

[BrokenPrincess]

I wanted to post about this. You have rights under FMLA and ADA that your employer must abide by. For FMLA, there are hours worked requirements but if you are a full time employee that is not new to the company you would qualify. While time off may not be paid, that is going to depend on maternity leave policy, PTO/Vacation, etc. your position would be protected. Pregnancy is also seen as a short term disability so if you STD insurance you can get paid that way as well as accommodations tied to ADA. If you fear your manager will be less than correct in this manner, speak with your HR department.

 

To qualify for FMLA protection (protects your job for up to 12 weeks of maternity leave), you must have worked there for at least 12 months AND the company must employ at least 50 people.

 

Keep in mind too that FMLA does not mean paid leave, just that your job must be held for you to come back. However you CAN get laid off while on an FMLA protected leave if your boss/company eliminated your position.

[Got it]

To qualify for FMLA protection (protects your job for up to 12 weeks of maternity leave), you must have worked there for at least 12 months AND the company must employ at least 50 people.

 

Keep in mind too that FMLA does not mean paid leave, just that your job must be held for you to come back. However you CAN get laid off while on an FMLA protected leave if your boss/company eliminated your position.

 

Broken, yes, it also needs to be 1250 hours if we are being completely exact.

 

For the exact information, please go to http://www.dol.gov/dol/topic/benefits-leave/fmla.htm for information.

 

I will argue that it is not necessarily legal to lay you off while on FMLA if your position is dissolved. While, yes, lay offs can happen while someone is on FMLA a company has to be very judicious of this and should consult with an employment law attorney. They cannot just dissolve one position if there are other similar individuals. It can not look like there is any disparate treatment towards the person taking FMLA.

 

It really is going to be "in the details" so your best course of action is to first see your HR department and then, if needed, an employment law attorney. I would recommend going to the Department of Labor website as well as looking at any state/county specific laws. This is also obviously only information pertaining to the US and would be completely different for any other country. If you feel that the company is discriminating against you I would recommend going to EEOC Home Page so you know what you can do to challenge it.

 

If this is an established company there will be set practices for FMLA, paperwork you will need to fill out, paperwork for your doctor, timeline, etc. Adhere to your country/state laws and requirements. I would also recommend recapping any verbal conversations in writing so you have record in case anything comes up down the road.

[Rhema]

You're in quite a difficult position, but I've never heard of someone being able to take away someone else's child in the way you're describing. If you're not some addict, mentally ill, homeless etc. I cannot fathom how his wife or he could have your child taken from you. I don't think this is a possibility, so don't worry about that.

 

 

I've actually worked in Family Court. There is absolutely no way that child can be taken from you, unless their is a investigation, and you are deemed "unfit" (drug abuse, neglect/physical abuse to the child, homeless, etc.). And even in many of these circumstances a judge orders rehabilitation, social services, and gives you a chance to earn some sort of custody back. There's no concern to worry about that hun.

[Snipercatt]

There's no concern to worry about that hun.

 

Sara McKenna & Bode Miller? among others.

[Rhema]

Sara McKenna & Bode Miller? among others.

 

 

Sara McKenna still has custody of her child. High-profile wealthy MM, who has time and money to go back and forth in court. Yet he still hasn't won. McKenna's number one mistake was keeping him from his son and moving away in the middle of a custody battle. That you can not legally do. Its a celebrity case, not average life. And like I said, the mom still retains custody as of today.

 

Its more likely that joint custody and visitation will be established. A father does have that right. Not the "taking" of the child. Unless the mom is deemed "unfit". And even then, she has the opportunity to regain her portion of custody.

 

Unless, her maternal rights are completely revoked (in extreme circumstances). This is not hear-say. This is the law. I know this for a fact.

 

The OP has no need to worry about that.

[Frogwife]

There are 1,000's of couples out there just praying to adopt a beautiful infant. In 9 or so months you can resume your life of partying and traveling with barely a hiccup

 

"With barely a hiccup" is the understatement of the century... I got pregnant when I was in my last year of high school and put the baby up for adoption. I had all three choices available to me - keeping him, abortion and adoption. I am adopted myself so it seemed like a reasonable choice.

 

The reality is, it's really the lesser of the evils...all three options have very difficult consequences. I was at least lucky to have the father in the picture. Carrying a child and then relinquishing him, never to be seen again for 18 years, is the saddest pain I have ever experienced - it's a pain that never goes away. (Open adoption isn't much better because do you really want to see someone else raising your child?)

 

That said, for all of the sadness I experienced, I wouldn't have made a different choice. We reunited when he was 18 and he's now 27 - so I'm VERY lucky to have this nice young man in my life.

 

I am just writing this, even though it's slightly off-topic (as the OP has made her decision) but if one has never experienced adoption from the side of the birthmother, it's very easy to think you will just do it, go on your merry way and forget about it - but it couldn't be further from the truth.

[Popsicle]

I would not, but that's just me.

[Snipercatt]

Bode Miller was granted physical custody, for nine months! Nine months!

the decision has been reversed, in New York, but the California judge hasn't yet ceded jurisdiction. Increasingly the biological father is being granted more than 50/50 physical, and legal, custody, without the biological mother being proven unfit.

 

Not knowing the circumstances of Holly, and her XMM, I don't think we can say that this isn't something about which she needs to be aware, and concerned. Holly should consult an attorney in order to determine what is in her best interest.

[waterwoman]

Yay!!!! So pleased to hear your decision my children are the greatest joy of my life.

[lilmisscantbewrong]

"With barely a hiccup" is the understatement of the century... I got pregnant when I was in my last year of high school and put the baby up for adoption. I had all three choices available to me - keeping him, abortion and adoption. I am adopted myself so it seemed like a reasonable choice.

 

The reality is, it's really the lesser of the evils...all three options have very difficult consequences. I was at least lucky to have the father in the picture. Carrying a child and then relinquishing him, never to be seen again for 18 years, is the saddest pain I have ever experienced - it's a pain that never goes away. (Open adoption isn't much better because do you really want to see someone else raising your child?)

 

That said, for all of the sadness I experienced, I wouldn't have made a different choice. We reunited when he was 18 and he's now 27 - so I'm VERY lucky to have this nice young man in my life.

 

I am just writing this, even though it's slightly off-topic (as the OP has made her decision) but if one has never experienced adoption from the side of the birthmother, it's very easy to think you will just do it, go on your merry way and forget about it - but it couldn't be further from the truth.

 

Clemson follows a very narrow view of recovery which includes no contact to the point that the child never knows his or her biological parents - very cruel in my opinion and selfish.

 

You, however, I believe made a very courageous decision. What an amazing story - even that you reunited with your son. I commend you.

 

However, in this case, I believe this man needs to be accountable, at least financially, for this child.

[HollyGolightlly]

Thanks everyone. That's what I figured, I know everything I've done obviously and there isn't anything that could ever be used against me- so I feel fine. I've never been in trouble and even before my pregnancy I rarely even drank. I do know MM will always make more money than me, and I'm sure his wife is in his ear telling him to do this and to do that- but I doubt they will want the child in their white Pickett fence middle class life.

 

We are all very different- He's Indian and I'm Cuban...I'm very curious on how the baby is going to look.