Validation!

[meanon]

he believes I am beginning to want more than he is "able to give," and he is right.

I read your other thread (over-reacting?) and wondered if that's what part of the problem was. Maybe it's not so much that he has changed and become suddenly insensitive. Maybe apects of his day to day life apart from you are now symbolic of what you can not have with him and are more painful because of this. Now when he is open with you, it then feels like he is rubbing your nose in what you can't have and what he shares with another.

 

When affairs get to this point, the writing is on the wall. There may still be love, but the pleasure becomes more and more tarnished by sadness about what's missing. This may take some time but I think it's where you are heading, KMT. I hope I'm wrong. Hugs to you.

[KissMyTiara]

Originally posted by meanon

Maybe apects of his day to day life apart from you are now symbolic of what you can not have with him and are more painful because of this. Now when he is open with you, it then feels like he is rubbing your nose in what you can't have and what he shares with another.

 

There may still be love, but the pleasure becomes more and more tarnished by sadness about what's missing.

 

This is so it. This is soooo it. I don't want him to stop being open with me, but the openness reminds me of what I don't have.

 

He told me about how he had those little TV screens installed in his SUV for the kids, a "pacifier" as he put it. I almost broke down. I want to be in that SUV with him, with his kids, a part of his day to day life. Even knowing about the damn TV screens felt like he was rubbing my nose in it.

 

Humph.

 

Thanks meanon.

[Debster]

I hope for your sake that this is finally the last straw. I think you are finally starting to see the light and realize what you are missing. What he is stopping you from getting in life and that you, yourself, are causing yourself pain. As much as it hurts now, it is probably better that you go through this now and finally end the relationship than waster more time with him and risk missing out on all of the things you want in life.

[SoleMate]

KMT, he's hurting you so bad. Your friends care about you, and we do too. What can we do to awaken that "YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME YOU @$$HOLE!!!" feeling in you? He's a sex/love/attention pusher who tricked you into a relationship that has brought you some pleasure and SO MUCH pain. He keeps feeding you the "drug" and I am not sure when you will ever get free. If I were in your situation, I admit freely that I would be smashing dishes and kicking him in the nuts for making me feel so..."less than". (Don't worry, he's a MM and he will not call the cops even if you put him in the hospital.) Tooth for a tooth, eye for an eye. Your emotional pain is so much more than his physical pain would be anyhow.

 

Will there come a day when you are so broken down by this you will no longer resist a life in the shadows? Aaaaarrrgggghhhhh...I can't keep reading these threads. I sympathize so much with your pain, but it's just too difficult to watch you going down this path of destruction.

[KissMyTiara]

Originally posted by SoleMate

Will there come a day when you are so broken down by this you will no longer resist a life in the shadows?

 

I hope so. I'm not quite there yet, but I'm gettin' there...gettin' there.

 

She'll be coming around the mountain...

[Grinning Maniac]

Originally posted by KissMyTiara

I want to be in that SUV with him, with his kids, a part of his day to day life. Even knowing about the damn TV screens felt like he was rubbing my nose in it.

 

Stop right there. Do you realize what you're saying? Are you aware of how silly that sounds? I keep reading that quote over and over, trying to find some little part of it that will make the pain in my skull go away, and no matter how many times I read it, it still makes my brain want to vomit.

 

Let's review. You want to be a part of this guy's day to day life. You want to be with his kids. You're jealous You want to share your life with him, without the restrictions of being his mistress. Basically, you want to be in the position that his wife is currently in. Unfortunately you don't seem to be grasping the reality that...

 

HE'S CHEATING ON HIS WIFE.

 

I'm sure fantasizing of your perfect life with this guy is a nice distraction, but if you were in the role that you seem to covet so much, guess what, he'd be cheating on YOU as well. That's right. If you two were together, sooner or later he'd be doing the same thing he's doing with his wife right now...doing someone else. Do you honestly think he wouldn't? Why? Can you even give me one logical reason as to why he wouldn't cheat on you if the situation was reversed? I can't believe how women can have this idea that they're sooo special, and the married guy they've been banging for ages would never DREAM of lying to them if they were in a "real" relationship. Oh nooo. Never. He loves you too much. So much that he's basically put it out in writing that you're just the booty call.

 

Give me a break. You're all depressed about what you can't have...why the **** do you want it? You'd still end up miserable even if you got it! The guy is not Mr. Wonderful, by a long shot, and the "power of love" is not going to change him, if you haven't noticed. It's a ****ty situation either way. There is not going to be any "winner" here aside for him. He's playing you both like a couple of off-key pianos.

 

If it were you in his nice SUV with the little TV sets...there'd be used rubbers under the back seats.

If it were you that was with his kids...he'd be "working late" at the office while you helped with homework.

No matter how you slice it, you're going to be the loser in this situation because you're going after a loser.

 

Wake up.

 

*sigh*