Break your Mold - Only you can do it

[DrSimple]

Let's face it, everyone has their problems. There are a tonne of "gurus" and "gamers" out there that will try to make a quick buck trying to sell you their version of how to be successful. The fact is though, it isn't all that complicated.

 

I'll keep this short, I am not trying to sell you anything just trying to impart a few of the basic ideas I have learned from my own evolution. These are less dating/relationship ideas, and more life ideas that have been slanted to be applied.

 

 

Repetition is King

 

In life there are only a select few born with enough talent to succeed in various areas of life without mountains of hard work. Relationships and Dating are no different. How do people become pro athletes or complete their college degrees? This is the same approach you should take.

 

The more times you approach a scenario, the more comfortable you should be with each consecutive encounter because you have experiences you have learned from. If your problem is getting the first date, make it your mission you get comfortable asking for dates by doing a lot of asking.

 

 

Thy enemy is thyself: Embrace the Fear

 

Fear is the way your body tells you something is important. If you have fear in approaching a girl, asking for a date, making a wrong move, or trying to make a move you should realize that it is merely a coping mechanism to avoid a negative response.

 

What you need to learn is, the fear is merely inside you, it exists no where else. There is no true danger, only to your ego. So set the ego aside.

 

It is hard, but you have to force yourself through your fear and make your first steps. The first time you may feel hurt, but then you realize that it isn't as bad as you expected. Learn to understand and own your fear, rather then let it own you. By breaking the cycle, you build repetitions in breaking your fear and gain experience in situations you would not otherwise have.

 

 

Learn from each encounter

 

You may get emotional, that is expected, but always remember that you need to step back and truly think about your emotions. Why are they there, how can you change them, how can you better cope next time?

 

A man doomed for true failure is one that never learns, be it from not trying or not thinking.

 

The man who lives and survives is the one who falls down 7 times, but gets up 8. This man learns from each fall, the world does not end when you fall.

 

Always turn a negative experience into a positive lesson, if you can take away a lesson then you do not have to dwell on a mistake.

 

 

It will be hard

 

It isn't easy. You break down your own mental barriers one by one and rebuild yourself. It takes time but in the end you will wonder why your past self couldn't do what you can now do in the present.

 

 

Don't take it personal

 

If she flakes, says no, anything... Don't take it personal. Reflect and understand why it happened objectively. Every person, including you, has a reason for not wanting another person so accept it.

Edited November 22, 2013 by DrSimple