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In Defense of Checking People Out...


MalachiX

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So, I see a lot of threads here where one partner gets annoyed at another for "checking someone out." Recently I had a female friend of mine who talked about how irked she was that a former professor of ours had glanced at her boobs during a conversation. While I realize that this isn't exactly great behavior and I certainly try not to do it, I also think that many don't quite realize the extent of what testosterone does to you.

 

About a month ago, the NPR show This American Life was doing a recap of their favorite stories and there was an amazing one on a trans man (a woman who had taken hormones and now identifies as male). He talks about how surprised he was to find that he had no control over looking at women, very different than when he had been a lesbian and still found women attractive but never had any problem just staring at their eyes.

 

I think it's a really great thing to listen to and maybe give a little perspective on how this thing which often becomes so awkward is largely just a matter of hormones. Of course, this doesn't excuse cheating or any other d-bag things that some guys do. We still make our own choices. But just looking at someone? Well, that's a little harder to control.

 

It's a funny piece so anyone interested might want to give it a listen.

 

500! | This American Life

 

Go to the second section of Act I (Testosterone) which is at the 6 minute mark.

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