choke Posted December 28, 2004 Share Posted December 28, 2004 OK guys, I’m looking for an interpretation on something and this seemed like a good place to get an answer. I’m recently divorced, and a father of two sons. The reason I’m stating that is that I’m back on the scene after ten years, and still pretty rusty on my game. About 2 months ago, I started seeing this girl. It didn’t work out, but I ended up talking to her friend, whom I have a lot more in common with. She has two children as well, and we just clicked on our common interests. I tired to make move a couple of times at the beginning, but that didn’t go anywhere. Now, a month later, we are fast becoming very close friends. My problem is, I’m getting a lot of mixed signals here. There are definitely signs of attraction, but also signs of that maybe that attraction isn’t so hot. Last night however, she said something that kind of caught my attention. We were having a very deep conversation on Theology, ended up talking for a few hours. She asks me if I’m dating other people, and my (honest) reply was, “Not really. I’m talking to a few people.” She replies, “Did you ever wish that you could take certain qualities from different people and roll them all into one person?” So I get the impression that there is some interest there. I also get the impression that there might be some kind of a game going on here. I’m just curious as to how people here would interpret that statement. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 28, 2004 Share Posted December 28, 2004 I have no idea how you could interpret that as a sign of interest. Maybe if she said 'you have all the qualities I'm looking for' you might have a chance, however she's clearly saying that she's yet to find someone with all the qualities she wants. If it pertains to you at all, it may mean she thinks you have a few good qualities, but unfortunately do not suit - else she'd not mention wanting qualities of others, too. Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted December 28, 2004 Share Posted December 28, 2004 I have no idea how you could interpret that as a sign of interest. Maybe if she said 'you have all the qualities I'm looking for' you might have a chance, however she's clearly saying that she's yet to find someone with all the qualities she wants. If it pertains to you at all, it may mean she thinks you have a few good qualities, but unfortunately do not suit - else she'd not mention wanting qualities of others, too. One of the few times I actually agree with, Moi. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 28, 2004 Share Posted December 28, 2004 One of the few times I actually agree with, Moi. Link to post Share on other sites
Author choke Posted December 28, 2004 Author Share Posted December 28, 2004 See, I kind of see it that way, but then I wonder: Why would she ask me if I was seeing OTHER people? That threw me. There have been other thiongs said in the past. It's more of a series of events and remarks than one specific thing. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 28, 2004 Share Posted December 28, 2004 Originally posted by choke 1) My problem is, I’m getting a lot of mixed signals here. 2) We were having a very deep conversation on Theology, ended up talking for a few hours. 3) She asks me if I’m dating other people, and my (honest) reply was, “Not really. I’m talking to a few people 1) Women are trained from birth to give mixed signals, look at their actions more and words less. 2) Don't have deep long conversations about Theology with them, this is part of reason why you become friends. Keep conversations short and interesting with flirting and sexual innuendo. 3) Your answer to #3 above should have been either "why do you want to know" or "Yes, I am but casually" even if you were not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author choke Posted December 28, 2004 Author Share Posted December 28, 2004 Originally posted by alphamale 1) Women are trained from birth to give mixed signals, look at their actions more and words less. 2) Don't have deep long conversations about Theology with them, this is part of reason why you become friends. Keep conversations short and interesting with flirting and sexual innuendo. 3) Your answer to #3 above should have been either "why do you want to know" or "Yes, I am but casually" even if you were not. Naw, that's the game I played with to get her friend. Everything pretty much started with this girl when I quit trying to pimp and decided that we were just gonna be cool. I know the game and play it well, but this is a different scenario. Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted December 28, 2004 Share Posted December 28, 2004 1) Women are trained from birth to give mixed signals, look at their actions more and words less. 2) Don't have deep long conversations about Theology with them, this is part of reason why you become friends. Keep conversations short and interesting with flirting and sexual innuendo. I truly feel sorry for the unfortunate people that follow your advice. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 28, 2004 Share Posted December 28, 2004 Originally posted by Pocky I truly feel sorry for the unfortunate people that follow your advice. they don't need to take it and in addition I avg about one personal msg per day from someone asking my opinion on something. Link to post Share on other sites
Author choke Posted December 28, 2004 Author Share Posted December 28, 2004 C'mon guys, don't hijack my thread. I'm trying to get some insight here. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted December 28, 2004 Share Posted December 28, 2004 If you want to be friends with her, so be it. If you want to be more than friends, I suugest that you make some sort of move on her, or let her know out-right that you're interested. If not, she could develop 'brotherly' feelings for you over time. I've done that with men before that wait too damn long to bust a move or act interested. Then when they DO, it's like, heck no, you're like my bro. If you want it, get it. Link to post Share on other sites
Max Zoom Posted December 28, 2004 Share Posted December 28, 2004 Max thinks that Merry is right as rain here. And once again , so is Alpha. Let's not forget, dating is a game. Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted December 28, 2004 Share Posted December 28, 2004 Let's not forget, dating is a game. Which explains why so many people are failing miserably at it. It's not a game - when people start realizing this and stop treating it as such maybe more people will have long-lasting meaningful relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Author choke Posted December 28, 2004 Author Share Posted December 28, 2004 Coming out of a nine year relationship, I can tell you that dating is definately a game. It's not one that I'm particularly fond of, but it's defiantely a game compared to where I was 4 years ago. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted December 28, 2004 Share Posted December 28, 2004 it's a game if you make it a game. Just ask her. Duh. I hate this whole beating around the bush thing. Just have a frikkin coversation how hard is it? - Hi, I was thinking a lot about our conversation and about you and I want to pursue something with you. - Oh, I'm sorry I'm not interested in that kind of relationship with you, but i love you as a friend. nuff said. Link to post Share on other sites
Author choke Posted December 28, 2004 Author Share Posted December 28, 2004 Originally posted by blind_otter it's a game if you make it a game. Just ask her. Duh. I hate this whole beating around the bush thing. Just have a frikkin coversation how hard is it? - Hi, I was thinking a lot about our conversation and about you and I want to pursue something with you. - Oh, I'm sorry I'm not interested in that kind of relationship with you, but i love you as a friend. Let's just be friends for now, and if something happens, it will happen. nuff said. Been there, done that. Me: You already know that there's some interest on my side, but I can't figure out where you're at. Her: I really like you, but I don't know if I'm capable of being 'like that' with anyone right now. nuff said? Anyway, went from that point about a month ago to, "I think I may be ready to settle down sometime in 2005. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 28, 2004 Share Posted December 28, 2004 Let's not forget, dating is a game. It's a game for cowards who can't hack honesty. People who fail utterly at managing reality as it is play games. Genuine people (the only sort I'm interested in) have no patience with that sort of garbage. If you like someone, let the person know. If she's spending time with you, she must like you. If she doesn't, might as well find out. Me: You already know that there's some interest on my side, but I can't figure out where you're at. Her: I really like you, but I don't know if I'm capable of being 'like that' with anyone right now. So then bring it back up and ask her to let you know if she changes because you'd be interested. Easy, no? 2) Don't have deep long conversations about Theology with them, this is part of reason why you become friends. Keep conversations short and interesting with flirting and sexual innuendo. If all you want is a shallow relationship that has no emotional intimacy and merely exists to get you laid, then by all means follow that advice. If, however, you want to have a real relationship in which you complement each other on many levels, then absolutely discuss theology and philosophy and world affairs and cooking or whatever you are passionate about. And if you find enough common ground, you may find you've found a mate as well. Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted December 28, 2004 Share Posted December 28, 2004 i have great sexual chemistry with my guy friends....... maybe i am different, and we flirt at times, sometimes very innocent, sometimes very subtle....it is more like keeping your skills honed.....practice. not that i wouldn't mind going further than flirting with some of them ........ it is a "safe" environment to practice. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 28, 2004 Share Posted December 28, 2004 Originally posted by Pocky Which explains why so many people are failing miserably at it. It's not a game - when people start realizing this and stop treating it as such maybe more people will have long-lasting meaningful relationships. Pocky: LIFE IS ONE BIG GAME...get used to it and accept it. Embrace it with open arms and look at it as a positive game and not a negative game. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 28, 2004 Share Posted December 28, 2004 If you both are friends anyways, just be honest with her. Ask her outright how she feels and if this friendship is going to turn into anything more. If I were that woman, I'd really appreciate you being upfront and honest than play games. Playing games is stupid and if you want her, TELL her how you are feeling and how new you are at dating. Has anything physcial happened? Holding hands, cuddling or kisses? Make an attempt and see what happens while watching a movie... Hope this helps! Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted December 28, 2004 Share Posted December 28, 2004 Pocky: LIFE IS ONE BIG GAME...get used to it and accept it. Embrace it with open arms and look at it as a positive game and not a negative game. Naw - I'll pass. You can keep your game, your fake "machismo" and your poor advice. I like my perception on life that is based on honesty and sincerity. Link to post Share on other sites
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