lovehurts5 Posted November 22, 2013 Share Posted November 22, 2013 My boyfriend manages at a very nice restaurant and last night he got off early because he has been going over on his hours and the restaurant wasn't very busy. He had texted me that he was going to grab dinner with 2 of his coworkers (both female but I only know and have hung out with 1 of them. The other girl I've only seen pictures of and she is very pretty and I've heard stories about how she's a home wrecker) so after dinner about an hour long 830-930 he calls me and tells me that Katie, the girl I know, didn't feel like going since it was just going to be a quick dinner and didn't feel like making the trip just for that. So it was just him and the home wrecker.... They both had been working, left, and got dinner. The girl Katie wasn't working she was just gonna meet up with them but didn't. I feel weird about my boyfriend getting dinner with another female. Do you think it was innocent? Should I say something to him? When he called me I was "joking" with him and was like oh it was just the 2 of you? I bet she loved that! And he was like oh stop... I just don't like it.... Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 22, 2013 Share Posted November 22, 2013 I think it's not a big deal. Your BF told you everything that was going on. Trust him. Yes, you can keep your eye on the "homewrecker" & possibly make it a point to meet her but for now, be cool & confident. Consuming food in a public place with a member of the opposite sex is not automatically cheating, flirting or a date. Link to post Share on other sites
TylerDurdenn Posted November 22, 2013 Share Posted November 22, 2013 Not acceptable in my books, far too intimate. But hey we're all different. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted November 22, 2013 Share Posted November 22, 2013 I've heard stories about how she's a home wrecker Look, there is no such thing as a "home wrecker". Any man who allows another woman into his life and the family gets destroyed as a result, it is the MAN who did the damage, not the other woman. So you wouldn't have a problem if Katie was there as well? Did it ever occur to you that maybe what he told you is the truth? Some men are sometimes honest, you know. What did you expect him to do when Katie cancelled? Link to post Share on other sites
BlessYourCottonSocks Posted November 22, 2013 Share Posted November 22, 2013 Here's the thing, it doesn't make you happy, but what I've learned about cheaters is they wouldn't even tell you the details if they were messing around. He would've made up another story saying he was caught in traffic or out for a beer with his buddy if he was cheating. He might be telling you everything because he wants you to trust him or it could be reverse psychology. Who knows. What you have to do is sit him down, tell him your concerns and boundaries and make a decision together. Next time they go out to dinner, invite you or don't go out to dinner together like that. You either have to trust him or live with this insecurity/fear and let it wreck the relationship. It's a stressful situation, but at the time you don't want to control the guy. It doesn't matter whether she is a homewrecker or not. It takes two to cheat. Can you trust your boyfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
fixing Posted November 22, 2013 Share Posted November 22, 2013 Who told you she's a homewrecker? Your boyfriend? If he did, then he shouldnt be making you worry by going to dine with her alone. If someone else told you she's a promiscuous whore, than you can tell your boyfriend that your uncomfortable him being with her. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 22, 2013 Share Posted November 22, 2013 Judging by the numerous past threads you've started, this guy is drama. He's making you terribly anxious and you don't trust him - he's been shady in the past. Given the history between you two and the problems you've had...this just seems like yet another red flag in a long list of them. Why do you stay with a guy who causes so much stress? Link to post Share on other sites
JBlackstone Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 I've read some of your other threads and it seems as though this guy causes much heartache. You consistently say that you love him but never back that up. Why do you love him? Like you, I have a great amount of insecurity in my relationship. However, some of your boyfriends actions would be deal breakers for me, like the constant FB and Instagram interactions with half naked women. I dated a bar manager for three years. Some of that time I also worked in the restaurant business but after I left, I found it impossible to maintain a relationship with someone in that industry. Like your boyfriend, he was constantly making new friends who were girls. He would get texts at 3am from women saying they missed him at the bar that night. He was always having drinks with coworkers. Not to mention, the 'hookup' stories he'd share about others also working there. I understand in that industry you have to be personable but there should be boundaries. Never again would I date a bartender. I think you should see a therapist if you don't already. It's great to come on here but a professional's opinion is valid in this situation. Also, you don't want to carry this baggage into future relationships, which is what I'm doing to my poor boyfriend who is paying for my ex's mistakes. I also think your boyfriend has insecurities issues. Except he's not looking to you to fill them, he's looking to all his flirty bar friends. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 Based on some other responses to this thread I looked up your post history too. The problem isn't him or his dining companions. The problem is that you are insecure & jealous. You can't live your whole life like this. Get a handle on your own emotions before the wreck your life. If you are dating a man who isn't worry of your trust, dump him. You don't have a relationship worth fighting for. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts