So many lies

[Lokie]

"It looks like he came here to reassure Autumnmoom - that when he's silent on her - she should be ok with that."

 

Autumnmoon, you have yourself a real keeper there! I suggest armed robbery together because clearly he is teaching you to have no soul.

[Britain]

But why did the rest of us have to be subjected to it?

 

:lmao::lmao:

[Acacia98]

Great post.

 

Most human dysfunction and pain are not the result of intentional acts to harm or manipulate. More often, it's caused by people that never learned how to deal with life, especially conflict. As I say frequently... Hurt people, hurt people.

 

When I use the term "poor character", I am not only speaking of people that are personality disordered manipulators. I am also talking about people whose "default" is to lie, cheat, avoid or sneak because of the circumstances in their lives. Kids that lie to escape the wrath of a scary, alcoholic father grow into adults that lie to cope with any uncomfortable situation or conflict. They are not evil or bad, but their methods of coping harm others, nonetheless.

 

I think an affair is very similar to an addiction. Both are ways of escaping & coping. Addicts are not intentionally trying to hurt their family, but their self destructive actions cause a lot of collateral damage. They didn't mean to hurt others, but this fact does not change the outcome. While in an affair, most participants don't see it as being self destructive. They see it as a solution or an enhancement, much like drug or alcohol is used. However, once the affair or addiction is discovered and consequences are felt, most people look back on their actions as self destructive.

 

Using your logic of "no ill intent", you could say that pedophila should be excused because the pedophile "loves" the child. Or that it's not the pedophiles fault, because he is only doing what was done to him.

 

It doesn't really matter if you are sociopath scheming to manipulate, or a person with poor coping skills that is just trying to meet his own needs. The person at the other end of your manipulation or your sad attempt to soothe yourself is still a victim of your dysfunction.

 

Beautifully said, Quiet Storm. I've been reflecting on this a lot lately, having recently dated somebody whose manipulation, deceit, conflict avoidance, and passive aggression have hurt me. I know for a fact that this man has been through very hurtful experiences, but that knowledge doesn't make his actions towards me hurt any less.

[HopingAgain]

It looks like he came here to reassure Autumnmoom - that when he's silent on her - she should be ok with that.

 

Yep. Ladies and Gents, what we have here is a perfect lesson in Manipulation 101. Take notes!

[AutumnMoon]

If this is my MM a different OW told him about this site cause I never! He sounds like he could be my mans twin.

[MissBee]

If this is my MM a different OW told him about this site cause I never! He sounds like he could be my mans twin.

 

 

Well then....

[Sub]

I was thinking it was a more recent poster whose initial post was similarly pointless and non-chalant. A lot of "but everyone's happy in our situation."

[dreamingoftigers]

This just goes back to my theory that MM is really just one guy that dates a lot of women. Everytime I see a post about MM I think "this must be the same guy. He acts the exact same way and says the exact same crap."

[Britain]

It rather seems suffice to say, wow, a man who wants sex on the side without showing or sharing any emotion, and wishes to keep it neat and tidy. Who would think? I agree with others that this is not a thread filled with any new eye popping revelations.