cavalier99 Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 In my closet back home are all mementos. Pics, gifts, ticket stubs etc. All photos are off my phone. Anything to remind me of her is out of my view. I still do have her number in my phone. All text conversations deleted. Good. I suggest deleting and blocking the phone number. Then there is no reason to ever look at the phone hoping. And beleive me getting a text or call is just pure torment anyway and changes nothing excet to delay healing and give you new things to contemplate. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kermit76 Posted November 23, 2013 Author Share Posted November 23, 2013 Yeah. I have all my ex numbers in my phone. But your probably right. U wouldnt keep a person's phone number if they were dead. Maybe for awhile to deny their passing but eventually u delete it. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 Yeah. I have all my ex numbers in my phone. But your probably right. U wouldnt keep a person's phone number if they were dead. Maybe for awhile to deny their passing but eventually u delete it. These things are tough to do. But they are proactive steps in your healing. Something YOU control. When you get dumped it is a HUGE hot to your self esteem. Small steps like this help you get it back and can be very liberating and symbolic. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kermit76 Posted November 23, 2013 Author Share Posted November 23, 2013 Going out to dinner and to a movie with a friend will help tonight too. I think her breaking up with me once before and getting back with me after a few weeks made me hopeful. But now know this is the real deal. For when I contacted her.... Of course me... The first time all the signs ur ex wants u back were spot on. This time I was a stranger to her. All helpful advice. Thanks so much for those contributing to this thread. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 Posted yesterday. Still feel like sh@$. Ex pretty much responded to texts from me but showed no interest. It was business like. Short answers. Not one question about me. Feel like I'm starting over from day one of BU. Was I expecting too much? Heard thru mutual friends she was questioning BU the day after it happened but that was 3 months ago. Guess I was hoping me contacting her would rekindle things. Now I'm flooded with thoughts about our relationship. Really feels like I'm starting over. Yelling at myself in my head that's its over. Trying to give myself no hope that she will ever contact me and go no contact for good. Starting new job on Monday and want to be focused. We had a 6 hour breakup. I believe this is the grass is greener syndrome and sounds like she is focused on her career and kicked me to the curb. The worst thing I feel is she said in the text message (our only contact inn3 months... I broke it and am the dumpee) is I should be improving myself and of course I said I was but waking up today I know Im not. I was. Going to gym, yoga, meditation days after BU but then got anxiety about waiting for her to contact me and I caved. Now everything to bettet myself has stopped. She has done nothing. I'm the one hurting myself. Its so sad. I feel powerless and have images of her enjoying life without me l like I meant nothing. I am so sorry to hear about your situation. Please try to get back to that frame of mind you've been in up until now. You are just having a down day. It comes in waves. I cried earlier (out of anger mostly) and I'm perfectly fine now. But in my case, me ex is HORRIBLE and has been seeing someone else while seeing me (for God knows how long now.) I got my closure. It's all about me now. He down graded & is obviously on the rebound. Such a loser. Remember that your ex is not the last person you're ever going to love. Chin up! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kermit76 Posted November 23, 2013 Author Share Posted November 23, 2013 Thanks me85. Better days ahead for us all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 It will get better. I was in the worst place for the past month. Just angry, sad, all of it. I let my hope go, and I feel so calm now. I'm still sad but not to the degree I was when I still held into hope. I also wondered how to kill the hope. Honestly, breaking NC killed if because I realized he is still the same as he was last time we talked. You broke NC and didn't get the reception you wanted. Maybe it will kill your hope. Deep down, I knew it was dead, but I guess it took being beaten over the head with that reality to make it sink in. Honestly, my ex seemed in a much worse place than me. He just acted so unstable and emotional. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kermit76 Posted November 30, 2013 Author Share Posted November 30, 2013 It must be the holidays. Almost going on 3 months since BU. Its been NC for the most part except the one text conversation I initiated last week. Stupid me. I texted her the first night I moved into my new apt. It didn't go well. She was cold and short. Didnt ask one question about me. Only said she hopes I'm improving myself. I know its over but why do I still have hope? Have I seen too many romantic films? Is it we broke up once before and she came back? Why is it she treated me like crap... Broke up with me out of the blue right after a wedding. Her reason was she lost interest in me aftet two years and the wedding was too much for her. And I still have feelings? I'm better than this. Is it her good looks? I feel really sad at the moment and just want to know I meant something. I will continue NC. I have no choice. Haveto keep reminding myself she isn't coming back. She has a big ego and i think even if she regretted it she wouldn't do anything. That's what happened the first time. If I never contacted her first it would have been over. Maybe that's why I contacted her after 2 months. Well it backfired. I was a great bf to her and all she left me was a broken heart. This sucks. Both breakups were around the holidays too. She knows the perfect time. Sigh. Link to post Share on other sites
elbe Posted November 30, 2013 Share Posted November 30, 2013 You'll be alright, man. Plenty of fish in the sea (although catching them is another story). Breaking No Contact only lengthens the amount of time required to move on emotionally. Don't do it again. Delete her number and moooooooove on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kermit76 Posted November 30, 2013 Author Share Posted November 30, 2013 Thanks. Trying my best. You are right. Breaking NC really set me back. Couldnt believe how cold she was. I was like a stranger she wanted no part of. And I'm the one who got dumped. I feel like a fool at times. There were red flags along the way. She did tell me at one point she didn't see a future with me and we still dated. Biggest sign was she disinvited me to a trip we were ssupposed to go on. She invited her girlfriend instead. Guess I'm still angry at her. I really trusted her and thought she felt the same. Boy was I wrong. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Am4Real Posted November 30, 2013 Share Posted November 30, 2013 I may be missing something from your history. In your post you mentioned she told you "she hopes I'm improving myself", what's that about? Not seeing a future with someone is understandable by the words, however if she thinks you need to improve yourself what is it that caused such comment? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kermit76 Posted November 30, 2013 Author Share Posted November 30, 2013 I was struggling finding a job. Living with my parents. That eventually took a tole on me. Had self esteem issues along with my confidence. She was starting to be very critical of me. Before we broke up I had two interviews with a company but didn't get hired. She then ran. She lived with her parents too. It didn't help our relationship. We were both in our 30's. Link to post Share on other sites
Am4Real Posted November 30, 2013 Share Posted November 30, 2013 Was she specific at all? It seems you are assuming in your comments about yourself. Did she come right out and tell you something specific you needed to improve and this is why she is leaving you? People can be critical for all kinds of reasons -- don't let your assumptions further devalue your self-esteem. I was struggling finding a job. Living with my parents. That eventually took a tole on me. Had self esteem issues along with my confidence. She was starting to be very critical of me. Before we broke up I had two interviews with a company but didn't get hired. She then ran. She lived with her parents too. It didn't help our relationship. We were both in our 30's. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kermit76 Posted November 30, 2013 Author Share Posted November 30, 2013 She wasn't at all. I posted the text conversation on here days ago. But it started with me asking how she was doing and she texted back I am doing well, working on myself and I hope the same for u. She was very cold, gave me short answers in her responses and said it was too soon to talk to me and maybe at a later date. Wished me a happy holiday season. Blah blah blah. I am in strict NC and don't plan on ever contacting her again. Was really hurt by her coldness and couldn't believe how much she changed. Link to post Share on other sites
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