Got it Posted December 1, 2013 Share Posted December 1, 2013 No, I think people who do not want to look deeper at themselves and their own accountability are more likely to repeat history. You seem to have a very passive role in this relationship, almost like you are on the outside looking in. Are you afraid to speak your mind? Are you afraid of asking him certain questions? Are you afraid to challenge him? To hold him accountable? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MaryFrancine Posted December 2, 2013 Author Share Posted December 2, 2013 No, I think people who do not want to look deeper at themselves and their own accountability are more likely to repeat history. You seem to have a very passive role in this relationship, almost like you are on the outside looking in. Are you afraid to speak your mind? Are you afraid of asking him certain questions? Are you afraid to challenge him? To hold him accountable? Yes i am. Right now i am. Because i depend on him in this city, right now. I know that i must think of true love, and if loves me he will take all ,y questions and give me the truth, but i am afraid it could turn out to be ugly and i got no job. no more money in the bank and no friends in this city to go to. Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 Yes i am. Right now i am. Because i depend on him in this city, right now. I know that i must think of true love, and if loves me he will take all ,y questions and give me the truth, but i am afraid it could turn out to be ugly and i got no job. no more money in the bank and no friends in this city to go to. Okay, that is a tough spot to be in and makes you very dependent on him. That isn't a good idea in ANY situation so what can you try and do to give yourself some better footing? Have you tried to get a job to start putting money in the bank? Do you have an updated resume? The people over on the Work/Professional forum are good people to run work questions by. Start focusing on you, get yourself self sufficient so that way you feel comfortable to be able to ask for whatever you want in your relationships without feeling like your general well being will be threatened. Can you start volunteering to meet people? Go back to school? There are women's shelters that you can get in touch with as well that can be a wealth of resources, aid, and networking. You can also get counseling there if you don't have access to it now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thinkingofhim Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 I think I missed it if you posted your age but this sounds so odd to me. Like adults acting out a high school relationship. Him desperately needing a relationship, no matter who with .. well, it sounds like he tries to solve whatever issues he has in his life with relationships. Right now you're his "soulmate" so you're the solution. You're in the honeymoon stage, when love comes easy.... it doesn't last and when things get harder and you're a REAL person in his eyes intead of the fabled "soulmate" then what happens? Honey I think you have bigger problems than worrying about whether or not he will cheat on you. Get yourself some financial stability, this isnt a man to depend on (and I don't think anyone should be totally dependent on their partner in any relationship, that's waaay too vulnerable of a position to be in). Link to post Share on other sites
Author MaryFrancine Posted December 2, 2013 Author Share Posted December 2, 2013 i gave more details about this situation in my other thread.... "Did i just fall for a serial cheater?" I do not live anywhere near the american continent. I live in Europe, in a small country and the means to help someone in my situation are little. I mean shelters and counseling. That is why i am around here, to talk to people and see other views. We get pretty judged around here. As for a job i am looking, i have a nice resume, I have a MBA in Foreign Languages. What i didn't know was that many people here have that and well... jobs are not that easy to find in a big city. At least not one to support rent on my own and stuff. So getting back on my feet will take some time. Until then i am using these forums as some kind of therapy. And it's a weird time to look for a job, a stable one i mean. Thank you all for your answers and support. I need it (with the kicking included ) . Looks like sometimes what you don't want to hear is what you need to hear in order to wake up and put feelings aside for the sake of logic. Link to post Share on other sites
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