12-Week Emotional Bootcamp

[mendsley]

Hello all, this is a thought I have to create something that could help people like us get over the pain. Take a look and see if it could help.

 

This isn't the magic bullet into how to cope overnight but I've turned to weightlifting/fitness with setting a daily consuming schedule into a coping mechanism that works for ME. If you are being lazy by sitting around you will fall into a perpetual thought process which will lead to depression. I was getting there, I had no desire to do sh*t. That lead me to start thinking about what my ex is doing. I always would say to myself "I know [toxic b*itch's name goes here] is not sitting around thinking about me, she's out doing stuff.. and I'm here not doing anything but thinking about her." That would honestly be running through my head. UGH, very depressing.

 

I started turning to YouTube for motivational videos about break-ups, separation, divorce, how to get your ex back and whatever else I could find that would help suppress the pain like most of you probably do, but all I was doing was feeding the pain of being dumped by looking for answers. The answer is not what caused the break-up, the answer is learning about yourself and the rest will will not matter. What does finding myself actually mean? Everyone is different so what I found is totally different than what you need. For me, it was how to make myself look better so I could help mitigate the self-destructive thinking, like; being unattractive, being lazy, getting old, needing someone else to validate my existence and, most importantly, forcing my mind to start thinking about something other than the b*tch.

 

This is my daily routine that I call the 12-week Emotional Bootcamp, maybe it could lay the ground work for someone else:

 

You must do this first – Delete your ex, throw everything away, block emails, block phone numbers and don't speak to mutual friends. Everything and anything that could remind you of the ex needs to go. This will be very hard, but it's a must! The ex must think you actually went to bootcamp and there is NO WAY you could be contacted. AGAIN, very important you accept this and do it, if not, don't even bother with this and go back on the couch and mope.

 

This is a layout of MY daily routine, obviously yours will differ. I can help you come up with your if you like!

 

• Wake-up and instantly get my ass in the shower, no time to think. Take care of your business and get the f*ck out. Don't sit there and lollygag, no time for that sh*t.
  
• Set-out work clothes that are nice, pressed and matching. Self-respect people. If you dress like a slob you will lose self-confidence. Get hair-cuts, shave and make yourself look like you are going out to meet the next love of your life. Gawd this is so important. Don't waste anyones time with a half ass appearance, you are judged by how you look.
  
• Drive to the gym listening to only NPR. Yeah, it's old people sh*t but it won't play music that reminds me of the ex. Plus it's educational and who cannot benefit from that?
  
• Get to the gym and the only thing you are thinking of is “whatever I do in here I will try my hardest to put a 100% into my sets/reps.” (Note, I downloaded Kris Gethin's 12 week body transformation program from bodybuilding.com... it's free and will fit perfectly in the 12 weeks).
  
• Put in headphones and turn that sh*t up to ear shattering levels to get my head into the game, THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. I do play music but, it's some tech/electronic sh*t that I never liked. It's still better than hearing something that would remind me of the ex and for some reason it does pump me up.
  
• After the workout I feel unstoppable, my body is pumped and chicks are looking. Of course that makes me feel good plus motivates me to come again, but I'm not here to meet checks... remember that!
  
• Get to my job and work! Work like your job depends on it. People will notice and will start respecting your drive. Plus it makes you feel good because you're accomplishing something.
  
• During lunch throw on some sneakers and walk for a half hour and the half hour I watch CT Fletcher motivational videos. This has been very therapeutic for me. I love bodybuilding and CT Fletcher combines that with mental toughness and that is exactly what gets me pumped up. If I feel down, I watch a quick video and BAM I feel like a champ again.
  
• After work I go back to the gym and work two other muscle groups (I workout twice a day on Monday, Tuesday and Friday. Tuesday and Thursday I run 3.1 Miles (5K). Some think this is over-training, but f*ck the haters. This works for me so I don't give a sh*t.
  
• Come home make sure my son is done with his homework and we spend time together. Cook, play video games, shoot hoops, watch a movie... whatever HE wants to do.
  
• When it's time for bed him and I go to bed a half hour early so we can read or watch motivational videos. Reading has introduced me into something that I love. Not only am I learning, but I get so engulfed into what I'm reading I have no time to think about the ex.
  

Schedule

Now keep in mind I have a VERY strict bedtime, eight hours minimum... this is so important. At first I would wake up at 2AM and would have stupid ass thoughts of the ex. So I started to watch more motivational videos at 2AM and it helped wrangle the thoughts back in so I could fall asleep. For that last week I get a full nights rest and feel VERY good in the morning.

 

 

Nutrition

Nutrition plays a vital role in all this. If you eat sh*t you will be sh*t. I eat a strict diet, being a single father makes this tough, but him and I eat like slobs on my cheat day. I cannot stress this enough, EAT HEALTY! It will truly affect your mind.

 

 

Mental Health

I work very hard on keeping my thoughts clean. I have labeled the ex as a toxic thought and when I think about her I am training my mind into instantly push that thought out and think of something positive. It amazes me how I can tell my mind to do something and it listens. It takes some WORK but well worth it.

 

 

Now the weekends are tough for me. That is when I would start to feel down. I still do to some degree, but I force myself to do things away from the house. Google things to do in your area. You do not need money for a ton of things. Just get out of the house and walk the mall, walk the park, take a hike, watch a movie you get the idea. This is also where meetup.com comes in handy. There is always something going on during the weekend. After you attend a few meetups, you start meeting new friends. It has been a true blessing for me.

 

 

Another thing I recognized is I felt like I needed to replace my ex with someone else ASAP. I was a f*cking wreck and I'm sure these women knew it. I would get turned down, get more depressed and it was an uphill battle. So, I STOPPED that sh*t! During this 12-week emotional bootcamp I've told myself NO RELATIONSHIPS! I will see someone who I'm attracted to and I see her looking, but I simply smile and chalk that up as another hot chick checking out the goods. After 12-weeks I will reevaluate and go from there.

 

 

The last thing I would like to mention is the cell phone, social media and all that other crap. I became addicted to all that sh*t. So part of this boot camp is to DELETE all that social media crap and turn the phone off. I keep mine on during the day in case my son needs something, but when I'm home that sh*t goes off and thrown in the drawer. OMG, it's so exhilarating. At first I honestly felt like I would drop off the face of the earth. IT was soooooo hard, but you know what? I am now over it. I feel like I can think on my own with out secretly looking for validation via Facebook or where else. One of the best things I ever did! Plus people tell me how much they respect me because of my discipline. Huh, just a month ago they avoided me because I was drama, now they respect me, LOL!

 

 

 

The reason I call this emotional bootcamp is because you have to change your lifestyle and push yourself in a direction that makes you believe in yourself. We relied on our ex to validate this for us and when they kicked us to the curb we were lost. When I went through the real bootcamp {COAST GUARD} I could remember thinking how I could not do this, but then all of a sudden I could do it. Then I started to believe in myself and when someone kicks you to the curb you lose your self... well f*ck them, it's time to reclaim yourself and be BETTER than when they left you!

 

 

Just in two weeks I am so much further along and I can actually function now, I'm believing more in my ability as a man. I"m losing the desire to find validation from other people and I am in the best shape of my life.

 

 

 

It's only 12-weeks people, and this is what's working for me. If you want more information let me know! This is only a rough draft of something I've been thinking of creating for people like us. For me, this is what I need. It gives me a direction, goals and pushes me everyday.

 

 

www.bodybuilding.com/fun/kris-gethin-12-week-daily-trainer.html

 

 

Peace,

Mike

Edited November 23, 2013 by mendsley
Spelling

[AnyaNova]

Hello all, this is a thought I have to create something that could help people like us get over the pain. Take a look and see if it could help.

 

This isn't the magic bullet into how to cope overnight but I've turned to weightlifting/fitness with setting a daily consuming schedule into a coping mechanism that works for ME. If you are being lazy by sitting around you will fall into a perpetual thought process which will lead to depression. I was getting there, I had no desire to do sh*t. That lead me to start thinking about what my ex is doing. I always would say to myself "I know [toxic b*itch's name goes here] is not sitting around thinking about me, she's out doing stuff.. and I'm here not doing anything but thinking about her." That would honestly be running through my head. UGH, very depressing.

 

I started turning to YouTube for motivational videos about break-ups, separation, divorce, how to get your ex back and whatever else I could find that would help suppress the pain like most of you probably do, but all I was doing was feeding the pain of being dumped by looking for answers. The answer is not what caused the break-up, the answer is learning about yourself and the rest will will not matter. What does finding myself actually mean? Everyone is different so what I found is totally different than what you need. For me, it was how to make myself look better so I could help mitigate the self-destructive thinking, like; being unattractive, being lazy, getting old, needing someone else to validate my existence and, most importantly, forcing my mind to start thinking about something other than the b*tch.

 

This is my daily routine that I call the 12-week Emotional Bootcamp, maybe it could lay the ground work for someone else:

 

You must do this first – Delete your ex, throw everything away, block emails, block phone numbers and don't speak to mutual friends. Everything and anything that could remind you of the ex needs to go. This will be very hard, but it's a must! The ex must think you actually went to bootcamp and there is NO WAY you could be contacted. AGAIN, very important you accept this and do it, if not, don't even bother with this and go back on the couch and mope.

 

This is a layout of MY daily routine, obviously yours will differ. I can help you come up with your if you like!

 

• Wake-up and instantly get my ass in the shower, no time to think. Take care of your business and get the f*ck out. Don't sit there and lollygag, no time for that sh*t.
  
• Set-out work clothes that are nice, pressed and matching. Self-respect people. If you dress like a slob you will lose self-confidence. Get hair-cuts, shave and make yourself look like you are going out to meet the next love of your life. Gawd this is so important. Don't waste anyones time with a half ass appearance, you are judged by how you look.
  
• Drive to the gym listening to only NPR. Yeah, it's old people sh*t but it won't play music that reminds me of the ex. Plus it's educational and who cannot benefit from that?
  
• Get to the gym and the only thing you are thinking of is “whatever I do in here I will try my hardest to put a 100% into my sets/reps.” (Note, I downloaded Kris Gethin's 12 week body transformation program from bodybuilding.com... it's free and will fit perfectly in the 12 weeks).
  
• Put in headphones and turn that sh*t up to ear shattering levels to get my head into the game, THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. I do play music but, it's some tech/electronic sh*t that I never liked. It's still better than hearing something that would remind me of the ex and for some reason it does pump me up.
  
• After the workout I feel unstoppable, my body is pumped and chicks are looking. Of course that makes me feel good plus motivates me to come again, but I'm not here to meet checks... remember that!
  
• Get to my job and work! Work like your job depends on it. People will notice and will start respecting your drive. Plus it makes you feel good because you're accomplishing something.
  
• During lunch throw on some sneakers and walk for a half hour and the half hour I watch CT Fletcher motivational videos. This has been very therapeutic for me. I love bodybuilding and CT Fletcher combines that with mental toughness and that is exactly what gets me pumped up. If I feel down, I watch a quick video and BAM I feel like a champ again.
  
• After work I go back to the gym and work two other muscle groups (I workout twice a day on Monday, Tuesday and Friday. Tuesday and Thursday I run 3.1 Miles (5K). Some think this is over-training, but f*ck the haters. This works for me so I don't give a sh*t.
  
• Come home make sure my son is done with his homework and we spend time together. Cook, play video games, shoot hoops, watch a movie... whatever HE wants to do.
  
• When it's time for bed him and I go to bed a half hour early so we can read or watch motivational videos. Reading has introduced me into something that I love. Not only am I learning, but I get so engulfed into what I'm reading I have no time to think about the ex.
  

Schedule

Now keep in mind I have a VERY strict bedtime, eight hours minimum... this is so important. At first I would wake up at 2AM and would have stupid ass thoughts of the ex. So I started to watch more motivational videos at 2AM and it helped wrangle the thoughts back in so I could fall asleep. For that last week I get a full nights rest and feel VERY good in the morning.

 

 

Nutrition

Nutrition plays a vital role in all this. If you eat sh*t you will be sh*t. I eat a strict diet, being a single father makes this tough, but him and I eat like slobs on my cheat day. I cannot stress this enough, EAT HEALTY! It will truly affect your mind.

 

 

Mental Health

I work very hard on keeping my thoughts clean. I have labeled the ex as a toxic thought and when I think about her I am training my mind into instantly push that thought out and think of something positive. It amazes me how I can tell my mind to do something and it listens. It takes some WORK but well worth it.

 

 

Now the weekends are tough for me. That is when I would start to feel down. I still do to some degree, but I force myself to do things away from the house. Google things to do in your area. You do not need money for a ton of things. Just get out of the house and walk the mall, walk the park, take a hike, watch a movie you get the idea. This is also where meetup.com comes in handy. There is always something going on during the weekend. After you attend a few meetups, you start meeting new friends. It has been a true blessing for me.

 

 

Another thing I recognized is I felt like I needed to replace my ex with someone else ASAP. I was a f*cking wreck and I'm sure these women knew it. I would get turned down, get more depressed and it was an uphill battle. So, I STOPPED that sh*t! During this 12-week emotional bootcamp I've told myself NO RELATIONSHIPS! I will see someone who I'm attracted to and I see her looking, but I simply smile and chalk that up as another hot chick checking out the goods. After 12-weeks I will reevaluate and go from there.

 

 

The last thing I would like to mention is the cell phone, social media and all that other crap. I became addicted to all that sh*t. So part of this boot camp is to DELETE all that social media crap and turn the phone off. I keep mine on during the day in case my son needs something, but when I'm home that sh*t goes off and thrown in the drawer. OMG, it's so exhilarating. At first I honestly felt like I would drop off the face of the earth. IT was soooooo hard, but you know what? I am now over it. I feel like I can think on my own with out secretly looking for validation via Facebook or where else. One of the best things I ever did! Plus people tell me how much they respect me because of my discipline. Huh, just a month ago they avoided me because I was drama, now they respect me, LOL!

 

 

 

The reason I call this emotional bootcamp is because you have to change your lifestyle and push yourself in a direction that makes you believe in yourself. We relied on our ex to validate this for us and when they kicked us to the curb we were lost. When I went through the real bootcamp {COAST GUARD} I could remember thinking how I could not do this, but then all of a sudden I could do it. Then I started to believe in myself and when someone kicks you to the curb you lose your self... well f*ck them, it's time to reclaim yourself and be BETTER than when they left you!

 

 

Just in two weeks I am so much further along and I can actually function now, I'm believing more in my ability as a man. I"m losing the desire to find validation from other people and I am in the best shape of my life.

 

 

 

It's only 12-weeks people, and this is what's working for me. If you want more information let me know! This is only a rough draft of something I've been thinking of creating for people like us. For me, this is what I need. It gives me a direction, goals and pushes me everyday.

 

 

www.bodybuilding.com/fun/kris-gethin-12-week-daily-trainer.html

 

 

Peace,

Mike

 

I think that this is absolutely awesome. My only complaint, is that the link for some reason, on both my comp and cellphone, just keep opening another loveshack forum page. I would like to see the actual link. :-)

 

I know I have seen massive improvement since I have made it paramount that I get to the gym at least 5 days a week, preferably six. Fear based procrastination is still a big problem for me, but I've been doing a lot of work on that one!

[Grumpybutfun]

Mike:

This is an amazing plan. I think this would work for a lot of different lifestyle transitions, like divorce, depression, death, moving, moving on, etc. This looks very similar to what I do everyday as I am extremely active, and I am healthy and happy. I am not in emotional pain, actually very happy, but I think you have a lifestyle here that could work for everyone. Learning to look at the internal for validation by working on ourselves is very important to growing and becoming who we want to be.

As for your naysayers about overtraining....what does that mean? We were made to be active and keep our bodies at optimal health. I am early forties and people think I am barely 30. It is better to train/ be active than to wallow.

I also like the fact that you are devoting time to your son. So many people get impaired by their own grief when they break-up or something external happens to them and time with their children go out the window. Good for you for making him a priority. I wish more dads would do the same.

I work any job I have like I am the most important asset they have, and I usually am. I take pride in my abilities so I get your words about your job.

As far as getting answers on why your relationship ended...sometimes the ones you come to the conclusion of makes no sense because the reasons are as basic as selfishness, being self-absorbed, being lazy and not wanting to fight for a relationship and being shallow/immature.

As you heal from your break-up, it is important to be at peace with yourself. I would recommend laughter...comedies, comics, stand-up comedy nights, etc. Laughter is a great tool for getting you out of your head and stopping you from falling into depression. When my wife's sister's husband left her my wife bought her 3 Stooges videos, all the seasons of Absolutely Fabulous and You Might Be A Redneck videos with Jeff Foxworthy. She said it is hard to cry when people are trying so hard to make you laugh.

Some music I use in my hardcore workouts are Breaking Benjamins, Black Veil Brides, The All American Rejects, My Chemical Romance, Art of Dying, Collective Soul, Garbage, Shinedown, Foo Fighters, Framing Hanley, Future World Music (movie trailer music), Green River Ordinance, and Jet (Cold Hard B*tch might have some meaning for you.)

Please keep us informed on how this goes. Proactive heals, while wallowing keeps you stagnant.

I am in total support,

Grumps

Edited November 23, 2013 by Grumpybutfun

[mendsley]

@Anya, the link situation sucks sorry. Maybe on your phone do a long click and see if you can copy and paste it.

 

@Grumpy, thank you! There is much more I want to do with this. I can really wrap this into a system the someone can actually use. For work I do webdesign and am thinking of making a free website that peiple can sign up for and start creating and tracking their progress. Big project, but I bet it would help people.

[GeneralJennyJenn]

Going to print out your post and see how I can apply it to myself- Thank you! This is kind of what I need right now, a little direction

[mendsley]

@Jenny - A direction is what 99% of the people on here need. Think about it, if you go looking for yourself with no direction you will take every path that seems like it will take you somewhere, but most of the time it only loops you back around to where you started. Like I said, this is only some of what I do. There is much more I implement in my 7 day week.

[mendsley]

Another important thing I'd like to add to nutrition is, make sure you eliminate ALL alcohol (found that out the hard way), caffeine, sugar and anything that may change your mood. What goes up must come down, so it's best to drink water and consume food/beverages that keep you leveled. The 12-Week fitness plan from Kris Gethin will give you daily videos on your workouts, form, nutrition, and mental health.

 

Also, do yourself a favor and look up CT Fletcher on YouTube. The guy is a straight up thug and lives life the way we all should strive for. He doesn't care what people think, he is straight up with everyone, he's confident and is passionate about what makes him happy

 

The last person on YouTube I'd like to mention is Eliott Hulse. He says some decent stuff and helps motivate me.

 

Keep all the relationship drama on LS, everyone here gives awesome advice and keeps it real. Try to engulf your time with self improvement knowledge, keep the search for how to heal from a heartbreak to a minimum. For me I noticed a huge difference when I spent most of my time focusing on my new direction rather than looking for some type of instant pain reliever... you will never find it.

[Rachelmcandrew]

This is absolutely BRILLIANT advice - I love this thread, everything about it! I just wish I'd seen it back in April when I got dumped! But thanks for this - I'm saving it and starting it now

[mendsley]

Today I'm starting this back up. Being sick really set me back and has me depressed. So this will be the ultimate test see how long it will take for me to rise out of this horrible depression and get my life back. I've recognized that the holidays are hard for me right now, so I'm going to focus on the mental aspect even harder.

 

I'm going to try to post my mental condition everyday, I think being alone and not talking to anyone this last 9 days really messed me up. So if I can get it all out everyday I bet that will help :-)

 

So day 1: I'm depressed, the ex is on my mind heavily and I have little motivation for work. I am out of town and the last time I was here the ex was with me, so that has stirred up a ton of emotions. Also, when I would come out here I loved getting a text message from herw througj out the day, now that is gone... I miss it. I feel lonely and wish I had someone to share my day with.

 

She was not for me and I realize it, she was very self centered, disliked my son, f*cking crazy, thought she was gods gift to men, kinda dumb, had huge f*cking gums when she laughed and she always made me uncomfortable in public because she felt like she had to be a b*tch to people. I know there is a better woman for me out there and the way I treated her most woman would kill to be pampered, loved and a part of my life. Her loss and one day she'll recognize that. But for her... it's too late.

[mendsley]

Day 2 : Yesterday my depression subsided dramatically at about noon. I think my mind mentally set itself to getting in the game. I ate clean all day, drank water ( I did have one small coffee - fat free) but I didn't feel any crash or drop in my mood. I was really excited to work out last night and I hit it VERY hard, it felt so freaking good. Afterwards I had a nice dinner and sat in the spa for a bit. After that I went back to my motel room and watched a little bit of Family Guy (that show always makes me laugh) and read for a bit. I slept alright, although I did wake up at about 4:00 AM thinking about the ex and after I fell asleep I had a dream. The dream was weird, it was about the ex, but the surrounding and people were all associated with my ex wife from about five years ago. I woke up a little depressed and it was hard for me to get moving.

 

I did a little thinking last night and this morning and I wanted to try and pinpoint what was bringing on this depression - for some reason I went at this like I was a doctor and want to treat the cause of the depression. I figured it was three things:

 

• Abruptly being alone (for the last 2.5 years, many times a day, I communicated with someone who I loved and became best friends with.)

• My life is still in a flat spin from her leaving. I figure once I get into a "normal" life pattern coping with everything will fade quickly.

• Self-confidence. I believe this is the root of my depression. I feel as though I will always be alone, nothing to be excited for and when something doesn't go my way, I get down on myself.

 

Also last night I was sitting in the spa doing a little thinking and I thought to myself "why do I miss her?" And the most shallow thing came to my mind...her breasts and beauty. It was an eye opener for me. Really? I'm going to miss somebody for that? It wasn't because she made me feel like a king, or she made me feel special, or she sacrificed ??? for me... it was physical attributes. That is pathetic and right then and there I told myself I need to stop being immature when finding someone to spend my life with and get to know them. Find out if they can be a supportive partner and balance me out in all other aspects, not just so I can say I have a sexy girl.

 

Believe it or not, writing out what is in my head is very therapeutic and this is part of my boot camp. If you are not doing this...you better give it a try.

[OpheliaSong]

I tried writing in a journal and I found out a lot about myself that way. I don't miss my ex bf, but I am having trouble trying to figure out how I could have been so wrong about someone. my dad says I am only 23 and I should cut myself some slack, because these experiences I what teaches me stuff, but I feel like a fool. My journal has helped me figure out that I was in denial because on paper he was perfect for me.

[mendsley]

Man, I'm not sure what my deal is today but EVERYTHING is bringing up the ex. I've been following everything to the tee, but my mind is slacking. I have to admit, today is still better than any day last week so that positive thought is promising. I tried to setup a session with my counselor but she'll be out of town for a few weeks so I might have to find someone meanwhile.

 

What are some things you guys do to keep these triggers, reminders, memories and thoughts of the ex at a minimum?

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

Man, I'm not sure what my deal is today but EVERYTHING is bringing up the ex. I've been following everything to the tee, but my mind is slacking. I have to admit, today is still better than any day last week so that positive thought is promising. I tried to setup a session with my counselor but she'll be out of town for a few weeks so I might have to find someone meanwhile.

 

What are some things you guys do to keep these triggers, reminders, memories and thoughts of the ex at a minimum?

 

Unfortunately, you just have to bare with it. I've tried everything and nothing really can stop me from thinking about them. I just try to keep busy and replace one thought with another. But he is still there and it's like throwing a ball at the wall, it always comes right back at you...and fast.

[Jules78]

Another important thing I'd like to add to nutrition is, make sure you eliminate ALL alcohol

 

 

I'm out.

 

Seriously. I need my wine.

 

Good post otherwise. lol Thanks for taking the time to write it!

 

Link didn't work for me either.

[mendsley]

Lol, yeah red wine is my poison. But, when im ready and not so f*cking emotional I will jump back on the one glass a night bad wagon.

 

Three weeks ago I started doing this and my weight went from 200 to 190lbs (as of today). Even after being sick my muscle mass is still there, my strength is there, but my endurance is a little low. While on my business trip I've had a few female co-workers comment on how muscular I look, so that helps my confidence. I am visually appealing, just need to work out my mind and find my game again ;-)

[mendsley]

Today I feel almost 100% again. It feels really great Last night I went to yoga for the first time and absolutely loved it. I'm going to incorporate that into my weekly routine. I felt so relaxed, clear and stretched. Free weights really tense you up, so this was fantastic. After yoga I met up with a few colleagues for dinner and we had GREAT conversation about the drama in our lives. We all are going through the same thing and it really was therapeutic to talk about it in such length and detail. I slept like a champ last night because my mind felt clear, which hasn't happened in quite some time, so today I feel great. I only thought about the ex a few times this morning while in the shower, I guess I was lollygagging, but once I got to work she is far from my thoughts.

 

I really feel this routine I created for me really works wonders, hopefully others will follow it as well. I'm working out at lunch and after work, so I should have a great day

 

I'm not sure if this is where I should be putting my daily thoughts and feelings, if not please let me know.

[Jules78]

Lol, yeah red wine is my poison. But, when im ready and not so f*cking emotional I will jump back on the one glass a night bad wagon.

 

Three weeks ago I started doing this and my weight went from 200 to 190lbs (as of today). Even after being sick my muscle mass is still there, my strength is there, but my endurance is a little low. While on my business trip I've had a few female co-workers comment on how muscular I look, so that helps my confidence. I am visually appealing, just need to work out my mind and find my game again ;-)

 

Wine and being emotional do not mix! Especially when you drink a whole bottle. Just ask me. Ugh!

 

Working out is the best at making me feel better. Sucks how another person can bring us down so much. I hate giving them that power but I can't help it. Take those compliments and use them to work even harder! You will find someone when you are ready and she will be so amazing that you won't compare them to her and eventually you won't even think about her anymore.

[Jules78]

Today I feel almost 100% again. It feels really great Last night I went to yoga for the first time and absolutely loved it. I'm going to incorporate that into my weekly routine. I felt so relaxed, clear and stretched. Free weights really tense you up, so this was fantastic. After yoga I met up with a few colleagues for dinner and we had GREAT conversation about the drama in our lives. We all are going through the same thing and it really was therapeutic to talk about it in such length and detail. I slept like a champ last night because my mind felt clear, which hasn't happened in quite some time, so today I feel great. I only thought about the ex a few times this morning while in the shower, I guess I was lollygagging, but once I got to work she is far from my thoughts.

 

I really feel this routine I created for me really works wonders, hopefully others will follow it as well. I'm working out at lunch and after work, so I should have a great day

 

I'm not sure if this is where I should be putting my daily thoughts and feelings, if not please let me know.

 

Yay! Glad you had such a great evening!

[mendsley]

Yesterday was another great day. Worked out and didn't think about the ex much, which was nice. It's weird how now when I think of her I question myself on how she could just move on so easy? How could she be so in love one day and kick me to the curb the next? I know this is destructive thinking, but it does cross my mind and I don;t sit and dwell on it. It really doesn't matter any more, I think I'm moving closer and closer to accepting life without her.

 

Now my thought process is how I can make the Christmas season the best for my son and I. He gets back from his mothers house this weekend so Sunday we are getting a tree and some other odds and ends to spice up our house. I planned on do nothing, but it's not fair to his childhood that he suffers due to my emotions. Plus it's kinda of making things better for me since it's something to look forward to.

[mendsley]

Slept like crap last night, woke up around 3:00 AM thinking about her. After falling back asleep I had a dream about her which had me a little sad when I woke up. She has been on my mind all day. I had a great workout out, but it wasn't enough to block her out. My thoughts are about how she can kick me to the curb so easily and how she is living her life with little to no thought of me... almost like I never existed. I also feel as if I'm not suited to be with anyone, yeah I work out , but it seems as I get older good women are hard to find.

 

It is just one of those days which will pass, but while it's here it sucks. I will be flying back home today, so dealing with airports all day are always depressing.

 

My son flies in tomorrow and we have a few things planned, so I do have that to look forward to.

Edited December 6, 2013 by mendsley
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[AnyaNova]

Slept like crap last night, woke up around 3:00 AM thinking about her. After falling back asleep I had a dream about her which had me a little sad when I woke up. She has been on my mind all day. I had a great workout out, but it wasn't enough to block her out. My thoughts are about how she can kick me to the curb so easily and how she is living her life with little to no thought of me... almost like I never existed. I also feel as if I'm not suited to be with anyone, yeah I work out , but it seems as I get older good women are hard to find.

 

It is just one of those days which will pass, but while it's here it sucks. I will be flying back home today, so dealing with airports all day are always depressing.

 

My son flies in tomorrow and we have a few things planned, so I do have that to look forward to.

 

I am sorry to hear that you are having a difficult day today! I'm not having a great one either, right now. It's probably secondary to physical stuff (again), but it feels really bad, and there's stuff in a few that I have no choice but to get done.

[mendsley]

Thanks Anya I really appreciate you responding to my posts. I guess it's expected to have ups and downs.

[mendsley]

I've been doing really well with the workout. I've had a ton of people asking how much weight I lost? Yoga has been very beneficial for me, I used to talk trash on it, but no longer. It's VERY VERY soothing. I look forward towards it once a week. My physical appearance is improving everyday and I can tell people can notice, but my mind is kinda all over the place.

 

One day I'm sad, the next I can careless for her. There are really two things that I think about these days:

 

• I think about how much I miss her having her around

• And I think about if she ever thinks about me

 

I can tell my desire to see if she'll contact me is subsiding, but it's still there a little bit. I'll be alone for Christmas, so I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to figure out what I can do to help keep my mind off of it.

 

Over all, I'm healing. My mind is fighting the fact that she wants nothing to do with me, but I am coming around.

[MoroccoMole]

Wowzers. This is absolute gold. Hilarious, motivating and inspiring I absolutely love it. Saved it as a Word file on my MAC!!

[whathaveidone2013]

I'm going through the first day of being dumped and it is killing me inside. I need to focus somewhere else and am open to any suggestions for a 12 week boot camp and any ideas to stay motivated. I am a female btw and am wondering if you know of anything similar I could do? And, gawd, this feels like s*!t.