Playing Games???

[buster25]

Okay I am 21 yrs old and could use everybodys opinions especially guys. Well about three months ago I met a guy at a club. We exchanged numbers and over about two months we would call eachother to see if we were gonna be at the club that weekend and we would do a little kissing and have so much fun. Then one day he asked me to come down and spend his birthday with him which I did and we both had fun. Then he asked me on our first date. He wanted to spend his 25th bday with me so we went to the movies and grabbed a bite to eat. Everything went good and we continued to see if one another was gonna be at the club on the weekend but he wouldnt really call me during the week cause our schedules never really worked.

 

Well then one night my friend and I decided to go with him and his friend to go watch monday night football, we had so much fun but something was off that night for the both of us. Two days later he texts me and says he needs to talk to me when I am not busy so I call him and he says he will call me back later tonight but I couldnt wait so I texted him is it bad? cause I had a horrible feeling. and he texted me and said he just wanted to be friends so I called him and he said he just didnt want too hurt my feelings before we went too far and he didnt know what he wanted. I was fine with it but it troubled me with why he felt that way, Eventhough I wasnt sure how I felt about him. So a week later I see him at the club and he was so cute and wanted to make sure he didnt hurt me and I told him I was fine. That night we had alot of fun.

 

The following weekend he texts me to see if I was gonna be at the club and comes down just to see me cause he wanted to hang out with me. When we are together though he is so touchy feely still and seems to still act like he likes me. The next week I run into him at the club and we start dancing again but I told him he could dance with other girls and he didnt have to dance with me and i think he took it the wrong way, I didnt want him to feel held back by me. But we were both getting pretty drunk and I jokingly said I was going to take advantage of him and he said "I am willing" so we were at the bar flirting and playing with ice cubes and I thought he wanted me to kiss him so I went for it and he turned his head and said "you are playing games". That hurt me so bad I wasnt playing games at all. Previously in the night he told me and he told me 2 nights ago he was out with his girl friend of 3 yrs and she got really drunk and ended up giving him hickies but she was sorta a nympho and he didnt respect her at all, but why would he let her do this to him and not let me do it? Is it cause he cares about me???

 

I really liked him and wanted to kiss him and I thought he was feeling me again. He told me he wasnt sure what he wanted and said I was really cool. I just dont know if he likes me. When he sees me he will touch my leg when talking to me and say how good my hair looks and how much he likes it. I just dont understand why he thinks I am playing games and sometimes I think he is the one giving me mixed signals. When he told me he thought I was playing games I was really hurt and he said "I am sorry I am drunk, I didnt mean to hurt your feelings" and he kept hugging me to make sure I was okay but I wasnt. I was upset with the fact he thought I was playing games and that his friend said he was dancing with another girl in one of the other rooms of the club, and I know it was right after I told him I didnt care if he did dance with other girls but in fact I really did. Am I being dumb? I know I really need to talk to him. I just wish I knew how he feels. Should I tell him that I really do like him? Sorry its so long. Any help would be appreciated.

[Pocky]

Just be blunt - Next time you're at the club and he's touching you and commenting on your hair say "okay - hold it right there. WTF is up? You want to just be friends and hang out I'm cool with that, but you're not acting like a friend. You're acting like someone that is interested in me. So let's straighten this out before one of us gets the wrong impression and we make fools out of ourselves. Are we just friends? I need to know before I proceed with my friendly flirtations as well.."

 

At least - that's what'd I say. I have no time for the guessing game.

[blue17]

at first glance i was thinking he wanted friends with benefits. He said he didn't want to date you right now, but continues to give you compliments and be physical with you. Then when you go to kiss him he shy's away....the whole situation seems weird. Definitely seems like mixed signals to me, find out what's up. I can guarantee you though that if you confront him and he truly doesn't have interest beyond friendship he will stop giving you mixed signals...

[buster25]

Well thanks for both of your input its been helpful. I am still trying to figure things out and I think I am gonna try to have another talk with him. I just had the best new years with him. He called me on New Years Eve and said he wanted to come hang out with me. I was at a club with some friends and him and his friend came down and it was such a great night. We ended up kissing at midnight and didnt stop til about 230 in the morning. We both got a little drunk and I wouldnt let him stop kissing me. He kept telling me you are drunk and I dont want to take advantage of you, but we continued to make out and we got a little heated in the car. He told me he was gonna wake up so confused in the morning. But when we were outside he did the cutest thing, he kissed me on my forehead and I dont know if its just me, but I think forehead kisses are special and you only do that if you really care for the person. We continued to hold hands and kiss all night and we were on the way to the car when some guy came up to me and said he had a limo and wanted to go to another club and I shook the guys hand and introduced myself to him and that was basically it cause he pulled me away from the guy. There were also two other guys that I talked to that night and one of them I asked for a hug right in front of him. I guess I wanted to see how he would react if I talked to another guy. A couple times during the night I said I was gonna go with the limo guy and makeout with him instead but I was seriously just kidding. So we kissed goodnight and I told him to call me in the morning.

 

He called me the next day and said how much fun he had and his laugh was so cute cause I knew he was replaying what happened the night before. I also brought up the fact about the limo guy and the other two guys and he said "yeah that sorta made me mad I know you were joking but....well I wasnt mad but you know..." I know I made him jealous and I know it was so wrong of me to talk to those other guys but I was drunk and I am always real friendly when I am drinking. Anyways later on New Years day he called me and him and his friend came to hang out with me and my friend and we had the best time we both didnt want to leave. During our convo he brought up the limo guy again and even his friend brought it up and said he was mad at me for doing that. I guess it really bugged him. Am I just hoping so bad that he has feelings for me or do you think we were just having fun as friends cause it was New years. Now I am a little bit more confused. Thanks for any insight you can give.

[chica]

Forehead kisses ARE special

 

You are getting good signs, just don't overthink it.

 

Be open with him and put your heart out there.

 

good luck

[buster25]

Ok heres an update. The whole month of January we at least saw eachother once every week usually on a Friday or Saturday and he would always be the one to contact me to see if I was gonna be at so we could meet up I rarely called him. There was even one weekend where him and his friend went away to Philadelphia for the weekend and he called me and just let me know where he was and how things were going there. I think that showed that he missed me enough to see what I was up to and to just check in. Every weekend when we would hang out we would end up making out and his actions just show me that he cares about me. By just rubbing my arms and hugging me and etc. But I am still so confused one night he was like we are still just friends right and I said sure. I know he knows I have feelings for him and I think he has feelings for me in return.

 

About three weeks ago he called me to go to a bar with him and I couldnt go so he called me at 2am when he got home from the bar just to talk and he said he had an awful time it seemed like he missed me or am I reading that phone call wrong? Two weeks ago he was getting sick and wanted to kiss me really bad but said he didnt want to get me sick but neither of us could resist and we wound up making out that night. While we were in the car he started to say something but then stopped himself I told him to tell me but he didnt. I think he was gonna say something about our relationship and what we are doing but got scared and didnt want to say anything. Later on that week he checked in on me and knew I was getting sick and he texted me to make sure I was doing okay and feeling better. Later on during that week my friend and I made plans to meet him at a bar and he told me his friend was gonna bring some friends so I was cool with that but had a bad feeling. Well he gets to the bar an hour late and turns out him and his friend are with three girls. Immediately my heart sunk and he knew I was upset. The entire night he totally ignored the girls and spent the entire night with me hugging me and holding my hand and dancing with me. He felt really bad and said he didnt even know the girls that they were just friends of his boy's girls. The night ended great we ended up kissing again and gave eachother the longest and biggest hug goodbye.

 

Last week I told myself I wasnt gonna call him to see what he was doing I was just going to go out with my friends and try to forget about him. Well at 1am he calls me just to see where I was and what I was doing. I told him that I was at a club and his response was "Did you have fun and did you dance with any guys?. "But not that it matters to me or anything" Now to me that phone call made it seem that he does indeed have feelings for me by just asking me that question. I think he is giving me mixed signals. He already called me this week and wanted my friend and I to hang out with him and his friend but I turned him down. My thinking being if he spends time apart from me he will miss me and realize it and he will wanna be with me. I was thinking too that I should try to make him jealous next time we go out and dance with someone else to see how he reacts. I dont like playing games but I feel like he is playing them with me too. I am not sure if we are heading to be friends with benefits but the way I see it its better than having nothing with him. I would like to talk to him about our relationship to see if he does have feelings for me but I am scared that if I mention things to him he will stop kissing me and stop calling me because he doesnt want to give me the wrong impression and I would rather have him around than lose him completely. Do you think I should just not have a talk with him and see how things develop between us? Thanks for any help.