Simon Phoenix Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 The last text I sent her was just over two weeks ago though and her b day is on Friday, what do u think? Did you even read her post? She told you to leave her alone. Why are you asking this question when she specifically told you NO CONTACT? This is why people think you might be a troll. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
flight E Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 What about if I break NC in three months and ask her to lunch or something? I just read that from another poster. Just trying to come up with ideas that will make it possible for me to remain in her life and potentially get a fresh start. Poster said break nc if your must in 3months its not set in stone to apologize to harassing her not to ask for a lunch date. If she wants to she can reach you after that. But as someone said you might not even want to by then Link to post Share on other sites
Author nevergoodenough Posted December 3, 2013 Author Share Posted December 3, 2013 Did you even read her post? She told you to leave her alone. Why are you asking this question when she specifically told you NO CONTACT? This is why people think you might be a troll. I'm asking because I'm lost and in need of guidance. You feel like my chances of getting back with her are better if I don't text her happy birthday versus texting her just a simple happy bday text and breaking NC? Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 I really just want to give myself the best possible chance of getting back with her in the future. People say to leave her alone and let her be, but it feels like I would just be pushing her away if I do that. I honestly have no idea what to do its been just over two weeks since my last text and her bday is Friday . If I broke up with a guy, and he started sending me cards and roses, I would feel sorry for him at first. Then, I would be annoyed. Then, I would think he was a stalker. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 Simon is saying leave her alone! No texts no emails. Nothing. You have to give her space and more importantly yourself. Its very very hard and i have the utmost empathy with you. Been there. Got the tattoo. But for the sake of yourself send nothing. Take care. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 I'm asking because I'm lost and in need of guidance. You feel like my chances of getting back with her are better if I don't text her happy birthday versus texting her just a simple happy bday text and breaking NC? Your chances suck either way because, quite frankly, some of the things you did were so awful that no person in their right mind would reconsider. HOWEVER, the only way you have any chance is for you to LEAVE HER THE F*CK ALONE COMPLETELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and let her reset her thinking. Perhaps when she does she'll remember the good times, and perhaps she'll then be prompted to reach out. But any breaking of NC by you (EVEN TO WISH HER A HAPPY BIRTHDAY) will put your chances of NC at ZERO PERCENT. I mean, I can't spell it out any more completely than that. It's pretty simple, DON'T DO IT. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 (edited) I didnt know a happy birthday text is stalking. I'm just trying to give myself the best chance of getting her back in the future. It's not stalking necessarily, but it does make you look weak. She probably thinks very little of it and feels a bit sorry for you. It could be perceived as stalkerish if you keep on and don't let her go. Do you really think a happy birthday text is going to end or rekindle your relationship? You shouldn't have to sit around and analyze sending a happy birthday text. You are making it really easy for her to walk away and are validating her decision. Edited December 3, 2013 by BC1980 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Never Again Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 I didnt know a happy birthday text is stalking. I'm just trying to give myself the best chance of getting her back in the future. People are exaggerating it to stalking because you're obsessing. You've proven over and over again that you're incapable of being reasonable, rational, or receptive. Real talk? You're being pathetic. You won't listen to a single word you're being told, and you've actually chased away some of the people trying to give you advice. I wish I had joined this website and gotten this kind of advice when I went through my breakup. Don't tell her anything. Don't bother telling her that you're "out of here unless she changes her mind". That's an ultimatum, and those never work. Also, you'll have to break NC to give it to her. That's not a show of "manly strength"...that's revealing a streak of insecurity that you'll mask with a domineering demand. Just fade away. Shut your mouth. Stop talking to her. You want her back? Then learn to be okay with not getting her back. It may not work, but it's your only chance. Let go. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 There you go. This is all great advice from these guys. Listen and things may become better for you. Yes yes it hurts like hell! But if you keep reaching out it will hurt more. Time to let it go and chalk it down to experience. lesson learned take it forward. If you leave her alone for a good while you never know what the future holds but now is for youreslf. If you send a birthday text i will be bloody annoyed sonny jim! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nevergoodenough Posted December 3, 2013 Author Share Posted December 3, 2013 Ok I won't send her a happy birthday text. I just want to give myself the best chance of getting her back. Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 Nothing, ok?? Sonny keep strong. Ok I won't send her a happy birthday text. I just want to give myself the best chance of getting her back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nevergoodenough Posted December 3, 2013 Author Share Posted December 3, 2013 Nothing, ok?? Sonny keep strong. Are u also of the opinion that the best chance I have is to let her be and maybe she will miss me. Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 I think and know from very very painful experience that this would be the best thing you could do right now. If i had known what you have been told now by these fine people it would have spared me a lot of pain and heartache. So yes i would back not contacting her. If she misses you, you will know it. But please learn from my awful mistakes. Its easy not to listen but this time you should. Take care and post when you feel you are reaching out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nevergoodenough Posted December 3, 2013 Author Share Posted December 3, 2013 This is the last text I sent her I have been working on the way I deal with my anger in therapy. I am committed to making sure it doesn't shape my actions in the future. In this time apart, I have done a lot of thinking about us and realized how much u mean to me. I wish u would find it in your heart to give this a second chance, but I want u to know I miss u and I love you very much. I am willing to explain things to your parents and let them know how sorry I am in person. I worry about you and I miss taking care of you. I miss your smile and how u always made me smile. You mean a lot to me. Love means never walking away and pushing forward, I want to push forward with u and i'm willing to do whatever it takes. Whenever you are ready to talk, I will be here Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 Ok, did she reply? If not then leave her be ok?? Stay away, if she replies then thats the next question but until then stay out of her life. Hard yes, the hardest thing to do when you love someone but now essential for you to do this. Take it one day at a time but dont wait for her. Be yourself and reconnect with life a bit. Dont expect her to come back and plan your future without her. If she does then that has to be on her terms ok? Take care. This is the last text I sent her I have been working on the way I deal with my anger in therapy. I am committed to making sure it doesn't shape my actions in the future. In this time apart, I have done a lot of thinking about us and realized how much u mean to me. I wish u would find it in your heart to give this a second chance, but I want u to know I miss u and I love you very much. I am willing to explain things to your parents and let them know how sorry I am in person. I worry about you and I miss taking care of you. I miss your smile and how u always made me smile. You mean a lot to me. Love means never walking away and pushing forward, I want to push forward with u and i'm willing to do whatever it takes. Whenever you are ready to talk, I will be here 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nevergoodenough Posted December 3, 2013 Author Share Posted December 3, 2013 No she didnt, I can only assume she got it. I'm going to follow the advice here and leave her be. It's just hard when you love someone and want to be with them so badly. Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 Then keep strong. NC. You love her then show her how strong you are without her! Take care and plough on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 This is the last text I sent her I have been working on the way I deal with my anger in therapy. I am committed to making sure it doesn't shape my actions in the future. In this time apart, I have done a lot of thinking about us and realized how much u mean to me. I wish u would find it in your heart to give this a second chance, but I want u to know I miss u and I love you very much. I am willing to explain things to your parents and let them know how sorry I am in person. I worry about you and I miss taking care of you. I miss your smile and how u always made me smile. You mean a lot to me. Love means never walking away and pushing forward, I want to push forward with u and i'm willing to do whatever it takes. Whenever you are ready to talk, I will be here NOW do you see why continuing to contact her in any way is a bad idea? YOU told her when SHE is ready to talk you will be there. So YOU need to let her come to you when she is ready. If you continue to pester her, even on her birthday, you show her you don't mean what you say and you're disregarding her feelings. Thus, pushing her away! Make sense now? Sheesh. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nevergoodenough Posted December 3, 2013 Author Share Posted December 3, 2013 NOW do you see why continuing to contact her in any way is a bad idea? YOU told her when SHE is ready to talk you will be there. So YOU need to let her come to you when she is ready. If you continue to pester her, even on her birthday, you show her you don't mean what you say and you're disregarding her feelings. Thus, pushing her away! Make sense now? Sheesh. Yes, I'm just scared she forgets me and never speaks to me again. Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 Yes, I'm just scared she forgets me and never speaks to me again. She won't forget you. But she may never speak to you again. That's HER choice and you need to give her the space to figure that out. But go ahead, contact her, see if everyone here is wrong. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nevergoodenough Posted December 3, 2013 Author Share Posted December 3, 2013 She won't forget you. But she may never speak to you again. That's HER choice and you need to give her the space to figure that out. But go ahead, contact her, see if everyone here is wrong. I'm going to follow the advice and not contact her if that's the only chance I have of hearing from her or getting back with her in the future. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 Its not about chances! its about you! Everyone has told you. Please just try to listen to avoid the mistakes you could make. It really for the best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 find my thread read my awful story! Dont do this! Link to post Share on other sites
Author nevergoodenough Posted December 3, 2013 Author Share Posted December 3, 2013 find my thread read my awful story! Dont do this! I'll look for your thread and read your story. I just want this girl to come back into my life I'm so empty Link to post Share on other sites
Never Again Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 I'll look for your thread and read your story. I just want this girl to come back into my life I'm so empty If that's how you feel, then you'll never have a sucessful relationship with her or anyone else. We've all been there. I stayed away from my ex, but not nearly enough for my own sanity. I delayed my chances at healing and will always wonder if I ruined my chances at having her come back. In these situations, it's better to do nothing as far as your ex is concerned. They need to be DEAD as far as you're concerned. At least until you're healed and happy on your own. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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