Author nevergoodenough Posted December 11, 2013 Author Share Posted December 11, 2013 Good man! Keep re reading them posts. This will be the hardest time of your NC because its Christmas. Just imagine though, at how strong and different/changed you will appear when she is sub consciously expecting that 'merry xmas' text from you and it never comes? Stay no contact The hard part is I don't see this turning the corner and her reaching out in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nevergoodenough Posted December 11, 2013 Author Share Posted December 11, 2013 Think about how that looks to a woman. We don't want a man who gets desperate, we want a man who is strong. A leader. Confident and independant. I almost sent her the I love you, please come back to me Text, then I reminded myself not to beg. Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 I almost sent her the I love you, please come back to me Text, then I reminded myself not to beg. I can picture her eyes rolling right now. Then showing her friends and laughing at how hung up you still are on her. Just for thinking that you owe the forum 20 pushups. Do them. Be a man for 30 seconds. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nevergoodenough Posted December 11, 2013 Author Share Posted December 11, 2013 Do it, and you'll look like a giant pussy. Not to mention disrespectful, needy, clingy, whiny, etc etc. You'll make yourself look about as f*ckable as a mushroom. Lol I know she isn't the only girl in the world, but I hope she talks to me in the future bc I do want her back. I know I have no control over that, I just dk if she would ever come to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 Lol I know she isn't the only girl in the world, but I hope she talks to me in the future bc I do want her back. I know I have no control over that, I just dk if she would ever come to me. Like aspiring said, I would act like she wouldn't and I would start working on your anger issues and whatever else you feel you need to work on. Sitting there like a stool pigeon waiting around doesn't do you any good and doesn't put you in any sort of position to attract anyone, be it your ex or a new girl. You acted inappropriately. It's time you start to evolve and learn from it instead of sitting there singing "woe is me". If I recall correctly, your ex isn't the first woman you've flipped out on in this way. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself waiting for something that might never come, why not take the steps to make sure you are never in this position again, broken up with because of inappropriate, unacceptable, insulting behavior? It's time for you to start to grow up a bit. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nevergoodenough Posted December 11, 2013 Author Share Posted December 11, 2013 Like aspiring said, I would act like she wouldn't and I would start working on your anger issues and whatever else you feel you need to work on. Sitting there like a stool pigeon waiting around doesn't do you any good and doesn't put you in any sort of position to attract anyone, be it your ex or a new girl. You acted inappropriately. It's time you start to evolve and learn from it instead of sitting there singing "woe is me". If I recall correctly, your ex isn't the first woman you've flipped out on in this way. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself waiting for something that might never come, why not take the steps to make sure you are never in this position again, broken up with because of inappropriate, unacceptable, insulting behavior? It's time for you to start to grow up a bit. You are correct, I have pulled the picture thing with another one of my exs. So you guys don't think she will speak to me again? If not, does it really hurt to go after her? I love this girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 (edited) You are correct, I have pulled the picture thing with another one of my exs. So you guys don't think she will speak to me again? If not, does it really hurt to go after her? I love this girl. Yes it would. Honestly, pretend your ex is your sister. If some guy did what you did to your sister and then kept trying to contact her, how would you feel about it? It's time for you to correct your sh*tty behavior (which will take time) not to go after your ex like an obsessed stalker. It's time to concentrate on you and make yourself better. You have some major behavorial/conflict issues which you seem like you are ignoring. There's absolutely no point in doing anything with your ex until you fix your anger issues. Honestly, at this point I'm not seeing love from you. I'm seeing fixation. You seem fixated on her. If you actually do love her, you would have no inclination to go after her. You'd be OK with giving the necessary space. Edited December 11, 2013 by Simon Phoenix 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nevergoodenough Posted December 11, 2013 Author Share Posted December 11, 2013 Yes it would. Honestly, pretend your ex is your sister. If some sguy did what you did to your sister and then kept trying to contact her, how would you feel about it? It's time for you to correct your sh*tty behavior (which will take time) not to go after your ex like an obsessed stalker. It's time to concentrate on you and make yourself better. You have some major behavorial/conflict issues which you seem like you are ignoring. There's absolutely no point in doing anything with your ex until you fix your anger issues. Honestly, at this point I'm not seeing love from you. I'm seeing fixation. You seem fixated on her. If you actually do love her, you would have no inclination to go after her. You'd be OK with giving the necessary space. I just want her to be a part of my life, I don't see how that makes me such a bad person. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 I just want her to be a part of my life, I don't see how that makes me such a bad person. Well, if she wants to be part of your life, she'll let you know. But you forfeited any say in that when you decided to distribute naked pictures of her. I mean, wtf dude? Stop portraying yourself as the victim. If you truly care about the wrong you've inflicted, then fix your behavior on that and leave her alone. There are consquences to every decision we make. You decided to hurt your ex, so this is what happens. Fix it, learn from it, make sure it never happens again. Because instead of whining and moping, you should be looking to figure out why you act in such ways and work on that. Leave your ex alone and work on you. Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it. And you sir, are a slow learner because you'd rather play "woe is me" than take your behavioral issues seriously. Take care of your sh*t first before even thinking about doing anything with an ex. And you never did answer what you would do if your sister was dealing with a guy who did what you did. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nevergoodenough Posted December 11, 2013 Author Share Posted December 11, 2013 Well, if she wants to be part of your life, she'll let you know. But you forfeited any say in that when you decided to distribute naked pictures of her. I mean, wtf dude? Stop portraying yourself as the victim. If you truly care about the wrong you've inflicted, then fix your behavior on that and leave her alone. There are consquences to every decision we make. You decided to hurt your ex, so this is what happens. Fix it, learn from it, make sure it never happens again. Because instead of whining and moping, you should be looking to figure out why you act in such ways and work on that. Leave your ex alone and work on you. Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it. And you sir, are a slow learner because you'd rather play "woe is me" than take your behavioral issues seriously. Take care of your sh*t first before even thinking about doing anything with an ex. And you never did answer what you would do if your sister was dealing with a guy who did what you did. Just so we are clear, I never distributed her naked pictures. I told her I would send them to her parents, logged them in my contacts and made like I was going to, but I never did it. Whenever I was mad at her in the past, she has sent me texts such as the come back to me one that people consider begging. Although, she has never done anything at all really to me. I'm just trying to do anything possible to increase the chances of her speaking to me in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Never Again Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 Just so we are clear, I never distributed her naked pictures. I told her I would send them to her parents, logged them in my contacts and made like I was going to, but I never did it. Whenever I was mad at her in the past, she has sent me texts such as the come back to me one that people consider begging. Although, she has never done anything at all really to me. I'm just trying to do anything possible to increase the chances of her speaking to me in the future. Which is nothing, so stop thinking about it. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 Which is nothing, so stop thinking about it. Just so we are clear, I never distributed her naked pictures. I told her I would send them to her parents, logged them in my contacts and made like I was going to, but I never did it. Whenever I was mad at her in the past, she has sent me texts such as the come back to me one that people consider begging. Although, she has never done anything at all really to me. I'm just trying to do anything possible to increase the chances of her speaking to me in the future. "I didn't actually murder the person, I just threatened to murder her and anyone she knows if she said said anything" ....okay not THAT dramatic lol but what you did was pretty bad man. If you really want my honest truth (which you won't like) just based on your convos here, I'd steer well clear of you myself. Change today. Move on and be THAT much better with the next one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nevergoodenough Posted December 11, 2013 Author Share Posted December 11, 2013 Who cares whether you did or not? Does threatening it make it seem better? So what if she sent you begging texts? Is she doing it now? There isn't anything you can do to increase your chances. Only things you can do to decrease the chance. I'm sorry, but she's better off without you and your attempt to control, manipulate and scare her into being with you. Just stop. Please. It's pathetic, and you're starting to sound scary. Get some help. Never once did I try to force her to be with me. I did those things in the moment bc I wanted her to be upfront about what was going on, which she didn't appear to be at the time. I'm not actually doing anything, so there isn't much to stop. I'm not so sure I need help bc I want to have someone I love be a part of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 Never once did I try to force her to be with me. I did those things in the moment bc I wanted her to be upfront about what was going on, which she didn't appear to be at the time. I'm not actually doing anything, so there isn't much to stop. I'm not so sure I need help bc I want to have someone I love be a part of my life. Who doesn't want to be a part of yours! Get it? I'm not so sure, but maybe you're just a troll. No one can be this dense after 13 pages. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 Just so we are clear, I never distributed her naked pictures. I told her I would send them to her parents, logged them in my contacts and made like I was going to, but I never did it. Whenever I was mad at her in the past, she has sent me texts such as the come back to me one that people consider begging. Although, she has never done anything at all really to me. I'm just trying to do anything possible to increase the chances of her speaking to me in the future. Doesn't matter. The fact that you threatened to do that is despicable behavior and you need to get that part of you under control before you think about doing anything in vicinity to your ex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nevergoodenough Posted December 11, 2013 Author Share Posted December 11, 2013 I find the fact that you can justify threatening a person disturbing. You used her vulnerability by posessing those naked photos to try and control and coerce her. The fact that this is not the first time that you have used threats to get your own way makes me feel ill with worry for this girl. I hope she stays away from you. You've got a lot to learn, buddy. Mods, perhaps it's time to shut this one? He's basically looking for endorsement to harass a person. Not really, I started out this thread by saying it was wrong. I said sorry to her in the emails and texts that I sent her, so obviously I know it was wrong. People make mistakes though, and I am human. That doesn't mean I don't love her or that I deserve to be banished from her life. That is the first time I have done it to her. And no, i'm not looking for any endorsement, just a thought out point of view from someone that would actually like to help me fix this situation, which you just indicated is not where you stand. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 (edited) Not really, I started out this thread by saying it was wrong. I said sorry to her in the emails and texts that I sent her, so obviously I know it was wrong. People make mistakes though, and I am human. That doesn't mean I don't love her or that I deserve to be banished from her life. That is the first time I have done it to her. And no, i'm not looking for any endorsement, just a thought out point of view from someone that would actually like to help me fix this situation, which you just indicated is not where you stand. The bolded is not your call. It's hers. And people have been "banished" for far less. You are not entitled to a second chance after acting like you did. If you get one, you are lucky. But you shouldn't expect one. The underlined is ridiculous -- the vast majority of people would never think of doing such a thing, and you are looking for credit because you've only done it once? That's the type of stuff that makes you look completely selfish. AND FOR THE LAST TIME, YOU CAN NOT FIX IT. It's completely up to her and there's nothing you can do to make her see your way. The fact that you are trying to fix it instead of wanting her to exert her own free will is why you are getting negative feedback. You come off as extremely selfish and unconcerned about anything besides getting what you want. Edited December 11, 2013 by Simon Phoenix 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Kizmet Fisher Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 Not really, I started out this thread by saying it was wrong. I said sorry to her in the emails and texts that I sent her, so obviously I know it was wrong. People make mistakes though, and I am human. That doesn't mean I don't love her or that I deserve to be banished from her life. That is the first time I have done it to her. And no, i'm not looking for any endorsement, just a thought out point of view from someone that would actually like to help me fix this situation, which you just indicated is not where you stand. This is the first time you've done it to her because she wised up and won't give you another chance to do it again. I understand you did this to another ex too? I think you need to face it OP, this is your thing. Your break-up MO. Some people threaten to kill themselves, other people physically try and stop the other from leaving, and you threaten to send naked pictures of your ex. And for this you need help, because it is a pattern. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RDawg Posted December 11, 2013 Share Posted December 11, 2013 Do you still have the pictures? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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