i lied and told my ex i was seeing someone else to make him jealous...

[jessiej]

My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me about a month and a half ago. It was a terrible break up, he was really rude to me and said a lot of rude things when he dumped me, i think he cheated on me and the day after he dumped me he was already dating someone else. Which obviously hurt me A LOT!! Which led me to believe he cheated on me and already had someone lined up to be with right after me, which devastated me. I've been feeling completely depressed and have no self confidence now. I cut off all contact between us for about a month, and he never tried to get a hold of me.

 

I have to go get some things from his house that I left there soon as I really need them. I was planning to go yesterday, but ended up getting together with some friends instead and got really drunk. And of course came the drunk texts where I apologized for not coming to get my things, and I was so drunk I was saying things like "i don't us to hate each other, i'm still here for you if you need anything, I hope you're doing well" He responded with "Me too"

I asked him if he was seeing anyone and he said are you? And I was like just answer lol are you seeing someone? And he's like i'm not answering until you do, and I was like why? And he didn't respond.

 

About an hour passed and I felt like a complete idiot and didn't want him to think I was asking him if he was seeing someone because I still wanted to be with him, I was just curious. So i texted him and said Sorry I was just wondering if you were seeing someone because I am. He responded INSTANTLY and started asking who I was seeing and I just said it didn't matter. He kept trying to ask me who it was, (when he dumped me and started seeing someone he wouldn't tell me who it was) so I told him i wasn't telling him for the same reasons he didn't tell me. He was begging me to tell him but I said no. I just wanted him to think I had moved on and maybe even make him jealous.

 

Now it's morning and I read all the texts I sent him and I was a complete mess, I couldn't even text right all my words were jumbled and now I feel terrible that I lied to him about seeing someone, but deep down I hope he feels jealous like I did. Did I do the wrong thing? And the fact that he kept bugging me about who it was makes me feel like maybe he still cares about me?

[mandyxo]

I did the same thing the other day with my ex.. & hes been calling me a lot ever since, I regret doing that big time because its immature but it seemed to effect him and he even said he loved me after our phone conversation lastnight. Do you want to get back with your ex? Because by the sounds of it I think you're better off without him if you suspected he was cheating on you and had another girlfriend the day after you broke up.

[jessiej]

yeah i agree, it is really immature and i regret it!!

and honestly I don't even know about getting back together with him, I still love him I mean I was with him for sooo long, but he completely changed into a jerk so I probably wouldn't take him back even if he wanted to get back together.

 

I know it sounds immature and stupid, but I want him to feel jealous, I want him to feel like how I felt after we broke up you know

[aelvidge]

I'm going through the same thing so I know exactly how you feel! I just want to make him feel like I felt when we broke up. If I were you I wouldn't contact him now he will be wondering who the other guy is and it will be driving him insane.....

[lop98]

time to live by your strategy and start meeting others.

[jessiej]

Thanks everyone!

And I don't really want to live with that strategy because I already know I am NOT ready to date at all! I was with this guy for 3 years and he was my first love, and it's only been just over a month, I'm no where near being ready to get into another relationship, it wouldn't be fair to me or the man

[Am4Real]

Very mature thinking!! Refreshing!!

 

Wish it was more prevalent in this world...

 

Best of luck.

 

 

Thanks everyone!

And I don't really want to live with that strategy because I already know I am NOT ready to date at all! I was with this guy for 3 years and he was my first love, and it's only been just over a month, I'm no where near being ready to get into another relationship, it wouldn't be fair to me or the man

[underscore44]

jealousy is never a good means to an end nor is getting even. You want him to regret breaking up with you ? Move on, be the best person you can be. live life to the fullest, find new friends, see new places, go to the gym and work out a little bit more. Step into a different fashion style. Just enjoy life. Now saying this of course i mean more on the sense of do this for you because you will move on and you won't even know you are doing it. Then this ex will catch wind of this and be damned the day he or she every left you and you know what even if they aren't then hell with em anyway

 

Life is short and you only get one shot at it. The past is only full of memories while the future is full of opportunities

 

Get out there and kick life in the ass

[Rachelmcandrew]

He obviously is jealous, but because he was with you for 3 years and probably feels some sort of 'possessive' way about you still. For what it's worth he sounds like a jerk and I think you're better off without him - if he was a good person, he would have at least tried to hide it from you that he was seeing someone else straight after you broke up to save you from being hurt - that has got to cut deep. I always hurt the most when I find out my ex is with someone new.

 

I wish you the best of luck with moving on and may you find someone absolutely wonderful in the future when you're better and healed. Also, if you were my friend, I would confiscate your phone before you consume any alcohol ever again please delete his number (I can't talk about this because I called my ex drunkenly twice after our break up! And it was the biggest mistake ever).

 

Good luck. x

[Rachelmcandrew]

Everyone does silly things after a break up, because they're hurt and irrational. I'm sure you're not above doing things like that either, and you're obviously hurt because you're here on this forum in the first place, so maybe try to empathise.

Edited November 25, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[melell]

In time you won't give a f*** about lying to him, or about what he thinks of you. Just forget it until then.

[jessiej]

thanks so much everyone! I know I need to move on, but it's just so hard, and i've been going so strong with NC to move on, but once I got drunk, well.... I couldn't help it!! Lol, i've deleted his number out of my phone but i have it memorized which sucks lol

 

but seriously thanks so much everyone! It's nice to have people to talk to on here

[Raena]

Meh, leave him thinking you found someone else already. Is it immature? Sure. But hey, that's what he gets for treating you like he did.

 

But, don't continue to contact him either. Just leave it be and eventually with time you actually will meet someone else. Hopefully someone who treats you better than he did.

 

Honestly, if I thought I could get away with it, I would do exactly the same thing in my sitch. However, doing so would actually hurt me so I can't do it.

[Raena]

By the way.... I once did something just as immature as this:

 

After my first love and I broke up and he started dating another girl in my school I was very upset. I then proceeded to tell every new guy I met that I wasn't interested in that my name was the name of my ex's new gf and gave them my ex's phone number. So he had all these guys calling him up and asking for his girlfriend.

 

I thought it was quite hilarious at the time. lol. Years later, he and I met up and talked about what happened and even he laughed about it. He said it was pretty inventive and he knew it was me the whole time, but the truth was... she was a lying cheat and that's why they ended up breaking up. So it was sort of like an omen and then I felt bad about it.

 

Anyhow... just be careful about continuing to pull stunts like this. They may end up backfiring on you. Just chuckle to yourself and move on.

[jessiej]

hahahaha thats hilarious!!

And I agree, it is immature but I think he deserves to feel replaced after everything he's put me through!