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Wanting To Call My Ex Soulmate After A 1 Year Split......


coursingthru

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I was here back in February........I think? Ah, yes. It was a crazy split with a man in Dec 03' I felt was my soulmate but just knew it wasn't "our time" and basically self sabotaged the relationship to send him away.

 

I ended up with another man just a few short months later and at first my ex sm showed up 3 months later wanting "his girls" back - (me & my 13 yr old), I told him no. I was still devastated by how he left us despite my doing and his too, but I know see things and tend to take the brunt. That reason I have no idea - maybe I wasn't ready either and too guilty to admit after the 3 years.

 

ANYWAY - I split with the now new ex bf in Sept 04, he and I have been talking and hooking up but it feels good at the time, but nothing compared to my ex sm.

 

Here is my question.........I can't stop thinking about my x sm. I email him periodically with quick lines - like have a nice holiday or a question relating to nothing. He emails me back with brief replies. I miss him a lot. I want to see him. Even if just to talk to him face to face.

 

He and I never had closure or discussed anything to an extent of understanding. With my new ex bf, we have and it has given me closure and know that I don't want him in my life at least, only as a friend.

 

I love my ex sm so much still and my heart is killing me. I remember all of the good times and the bad, but the good soo out weigh the negative.

 

What would you do? Take a chance to see if he wants to meet for coffee? I know back in August he emailed me and said he met someone that he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with only after 2 days of knowing her.

 

I knew in my heart it wasn't true - at least that is what I convinced myself of. I know it took us 3 years and we still didn't know eachother. Nothing ever happens that fast.

 

ADVICE?

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Ask him if he wants to meet for coffee. If you can't be honest with your feelings and open yourself to whatever happens by taking a chance, then how can you expect him to? Ask him and then you will know your answer and you will either have your closure or a new possibility.

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I will e-mail him this morning. He usually replies by the end of day with me. I feel maybe doing this will give me closure with him as well if his answer is no. I am not the crazy ex gf that tries to keep everyone locked in, it is just within my heart - it is nudging me and I always go with my heart - even if to be rejected.

 

I haven't seen him since last May briefly in a store but he didn't see me, it was the first time a man ever made me stop in my tracks and feel paralyzed.

 

Thanks for the push....

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