GettingOver Posted November 25, 2013 Share Posted November 25, 2013 Anger is eating me up at the moment, I am about to burst into anger tears. I feel extremely hurt, offended, insulted and mistreated. I don’t blame anyone for it, just wanna vent. I gave him (as he asked for) about a month for thinking on how to improve the situation before he can get a D. I told him I needed more time together and more attention from him as we now live in one and the same city. During that month I tried not to initiate communication and I am so hurt by this “hot and cold” thing that he is doing. Yesterday I saw him online and I was THAT hurt that he did not even say hi… and we have not spoken in a couple of days. I initiated a chat and regretted it as he was cold as ice and I ended up crying the whole night. I do not understand WHY won’t he let me go if he doesn’t need me, and why won’t he communicate properly of he DOES. I am sick of explaining my needs, I left once, he would do everything to get me back and once I am back he starts being an ass. I hate it so much!!! I am tired of playing this f***ing game! If he needs a woman who doesn’t need his attention and him he should go home and find one there! I don’t ask for advice, I know…. I must pick myself up from the floor and dump him. Just wanted to vent, just needed to let it out!!! Thanks for reading… Link to post Share on other sites
threelaurels Posted November 25, 2013 Share Posted November 25, 2013 I know you wrote this to vent, but I would like to provide you with some feedback. I do not understand WHY won’t he let me go if he doesn’t need me, and why won’t he communicate properly of he DOES. He does this because he's selfish. He either can't empathize with your situation, or he does understand what he's doing but just doesn't care. I get where you're coming from. Relationships with a push/pull dynamic are emotionally exhausting. You have every right to be angry with him. He's not treating you well at all. You deserve better. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
RickFox Posted November 25, 2013 Share Posted November 25, 2013 It's not why won't he let you go, but why do you choose to stay or allow it. the amount of power he has over you is simply what you give him. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
nicepuzzle Posted November 25, 2013 Share Posted November 25, 2013 Have the upper hand and dump him and he will run after you. Just dump him for good. he is keeping u for his own ego boos on the side 1 Link to post Share on other sites
imfine Posted November 25, 2013 Share Posted November 25, 2013 "I am tired of playing this f***ing game!" Print this out in a large font. Put it on your bathroom mirror, fridge, laptop, cellphone, steering wheel, everywhere. Make this your manta. Keep reinforcing your own feelings. Then maybe you'll have the strength to kick his rear to the curb forever. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GettingOver Posted November 25, 2013 Author Share Posted November 25, 2013 I know you wrote this to vent, but I would like to provide you with some feedback. He does this because he's selfish. He either can't empathize with your situation, or he does understand what he's doing but just doesn't care. I get where you're coming from. Relationships with a push/pull dynamic are emotionally exhausting. You have every right to be angry with him. He's not treating you well at all. You deserve better. Thanks for your feedback! What exactly do you mean by "emphathize"? That he doesn't care about how I feel and doesn't want to put himself in my shoes?... I find his recent behaviour outrageous in any case and I will tell him about it. He has a habit on blaming me for being "pushy", but to be honest - wanting to communicate with your loved ones is not pushy, but normal. And if you don't want to - you don't love them. Period. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GettingOver Posted November 25, 2013 Author Share Posted November 25, 2013 It's not why won't he let you go, but why do you choose to stay or allow it. the amount of power he has over you is simply what you give him. I left him once for that reason, but he broke NC several times. I still loved him and I caved. I am not excusing myself, I just hoped it can improve,but it doesn't. When he gets close, the blowing hot part - I get a foolish impression he cares enough and get deeper into this, but then BUM - cold, and I wonder how can it change in a blink of an eye... Yesterday I told him that I missed him. He said he missed talking to me. I asked why did not you call me then??? The answer was that he was that very stressed and busy at work. I do not believe in this. If you miss talking to someone you find time after work to call, wtf???? Link to post Share on other sites
mikecr50 Posted November 25, 2013 Share Posted November 25, 2013 You said you missed him, he said I missed talking to you-BINGO!! NEXT!! Link to post Share on other sites
blue963 Posted December 1, 2013 Share Posted December 1, 2013 This push pull creates so much anxiety it is sickening. I am tired of this type of situation also. Mine is going through a difficult time as his father past and these are the first holidays without. I can totally understand, yet it doesn't take much effort to just send an email and say im having a tough time. Perhaps I am being self-centered, but I am just tired of never knowing. Sometimes I think men really dont think about feelings of the woman in any way. Interesting, because this could be why the OW get mixed up in this anyway, because we are being taken for granted. Link to post Share on other sites
Ziz Posted December 8, 2013 Share Posted December 8, 2013 You're welcome. Link to post Share on other sites
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