Am I being lead on here ? Or is she just not plain interested in me ?

[Jack1987]

Don't know where to start but will try to make this as short as possible. I met Emma, through my class fellow, they are best friends. Anyways she had a boyfriend back then when we met about a year ago. We clicked right from the start, i wasn't interested in her, though she is absolutely gorgeous, we barely saw each other, just met once a month or twice max. We had a fun time when going out to bars, i was open to everything, being that fun guy, she always liked me.

 

I hadn't seen her for 4 or 5 months untill last month. Heard she was single but i still wasn't trying anything, since we were just friends, untill one day for our college party, i saw her, she was looking stunning, i finally decided to do something about it, she gave me the usual glances and while drinking she was around me. Though we were at that same party, or pre party i should say, she went off with her own class. Hours later, i couldn't find my friends, and in the end, i found Emma, she was also looking for her friends, she bought me a few drinks and we two sat down and had such a nice time, she held my hands the first time, but we both were drinking, and that wasn't a big deal. Days after, my classfellow texted me to join Emma and her to a bar, i went, again we had such a good time, and i teased her a lot and so did she, everyone could see that she was just sticking around me and we were having a good time, drinking and talking but i made a mistake of asking her out. She told me that she was already seeing someone else. But my class fellow told me later that night that she was lying. At that point i realized that she might have friendzoned me or is plain not interested, it was time to move on.

 

But no, weeks and days to come, she texted me for the first time, i never texted her before but she did, we began talking but that was it, just that day. But the same week we met through my class fellow and now i started to notice something different. She gets excited when i come a long, she likes to talk to me a lot, ask me questions, laugh on my jokes, glance at me, sit next to me, ask me questions when sober personal ones, make plans about going to a concert, but while we start to drink, she would walk right next to me, pay attention to what i do, heck even if i have to go outside for a smoke, she would say, ''I am coming too!'' While going to bars, she would walk next to me, and when coming back, hold my hands, this has happened 6 or 7 times now, lay her head on my shoulder, lean towards me. She would stick with me till the end even if all the others left. We would still have a good time and she feels so comfortable around me.

 

The problem is that she never contacts me, even if a week goes by, but when i text her she does respond back instantly, but i barely text her as well, its just once a week or max twice, she would also send me short texts sometimes, she doesn't keep the conversation going, she wouldn't reply back to some of my texts, and the conversation dies off, as if she ignores it or shows that she isn't that interested in texting me back. But when i am going out with my own friends, and when i ask her to come along, she would always come. Even if its just me and her, she would tag along. So this week, i asked her to come and she came, its was just me and her. We went to my friends birthday and she had such a good time, but my friends thought we were a couple and they even asked her and she said no no we were just friends, i mean of course at this moment we are friends, and i haven't tried anything as well because i don't know what is going on and when i should make it a bit more obvious to her that i do like her. I made sure she had a good time and we got really drunk. She did something weird though, i told her that there was a girl at that party, that had been after me for quite some time now, she told me should i talk to her ? I said no why ? She said because she is pretty and i think you should talk to her, and i was like no i don't want to (Looking in her eyes), and then she looks me dead in the eye and says okay i respect your decision. But as if she wanted me to talk to her...Why would she do that. After that party we two went to a bar, had a drink and then i got really wasted, i took the same train as her, and i ended up holding her hand this time around. I just don't know where all of this is leading, maybe i am just her friend ? I am not best friends with her, she never talks about any guys infront of me, i just know her through my class fellow. What is happening ?

 

She knows that i am fairly popular in college, i know many people both guys and girls, my friends say that i am good looking, that i like to wear nice clothes up to date and i drive a good car, while she is just here to study from the States and is doing her Masters and i am doing my Bachelors at the same college her in London. She is here for 1 year or so now and i going to leave for holidays to go back to the States and be with her family in 3 weeks time for a month. She even knows that i played a girl before from my class, or tried to do it, but i told her it was a joke and she teased me by saying her name all the time and after i told her what really happened, that i was new in college and my friends were forcing me to do something stupid, i did it and i am sorry about it and then after she hears what had happened, she says i don't care about it so why tease me in the first place. I really need you advice on this ?

[Philosoraptor]

Do you need a roadmap? Just kiss the girl already. The longer you wait the more time you are going to waste in this confusion and "what if" stage, and the higher your chance of losing out on a chance at her completely (which is amazing that you still have).

 

I swear people these days fear rejection so much that they would rather live in this miserable wondering state than take a risk. Worst case scenario she is all like "wtf?" and you'll have your answer... but with everything she's done I wouldn't expect anything less than a kiss right back from her.

[felicity1]

Communicate. Tell her how you feel about her. You want to know if she feels the same way about you, right?

[Jack1987]

Thank you for your replies.

 

Philosoraptor, i am not afraid of telling her how i feel. Infact, i would had done that long time ago, so what is keeping me back ?

 

The fact about losing her even as a friend, is driving me nuts, let me be a bit honest, i am 25 years old, and i have never see anyone like her, after getting to know her, and bit about her history and her being so simple but so beautiful at the same time. I just don't know when to tell her. I already asked her out while we were drinking about a month ago, as mentioned above. I think you might have read what she said. She lied to me. But things started to change after that and now i even ask her to come out with me alone to bars with my own friends and she invites me to a pre party, just me and her alone at HER place. I do believe that she does like me, but just as a friend at the moment.

 

There were times when she kept on saying dude to me and also Bro (I just heard that twice coming from her mouth). But that is all history now, she never says none of those words to me anymore. It's been 2 weeks and i do admit i don't text her or remain in touch with her that much just once a week, in hopes of meeting her in this real World. But now she calls me by my name Jack, or my middle name and i call her by her name also. Her friend is coming from the states in 1 week time, she told me to be nice to her in advance.

 

I just don't know what to do at this point, heck i don't even know why am i waiting for this ? I learned something in life, that a guy never tells a girl about his feelings, that is 8th grade stuff. But i do want her to know this, with all of my heart, but she is leaving in 3 weeks time, as mentioned above and she comes back in January. I want to give her space, give her time to think about me even if she does ? Once even. She makes comics of me on bitstips and asks me all the time why don't i do the same for her...It is so confusing, at this point, i know that she likes me, but as a friend ? Yes i would say... Or maybe more ? Don't know. But she does all of this just with me... Just don't get it sometimes...

Edited November 25, 2013 by Jack1987

[mutualove]

I think you passed on a golden opportunity.You should've said yes to her suggestion to talk to that girl for you,to see her true intentions and you'd have known by now.You've been beating around the bush for too long man.

[Absinthe]

You posted about this the other week and I don't know what you want - do you want random strangers on the Internet to tell you what you want to hear?

 

ASK HER OUT ALREADY.

[Jack1987]

You posted about this the other week and I don't know what you want - do you want random strangers on the Internet to tell you what you want to hear?

 

ASK HER OUT ALREADY.

 

No certainly not, i took your advice really serious. I did ask her to come out with me to a bar, with my own friends, whom she didn't know and she came along. I can feel that there is some chemistry but i just can't make the big move because i know we are just friends at the moment.

 

To answer the previous comment, let me a bit breif, about a month ago, me, her and her best friend were at a bar. So my good friend (Who works at the bar) invited a few girls over there. They came and so i began talking to one of them, i didn't see any concern on her face, but since we both were drinking, somehow, my memory ends over there, next thing i remember is that i was with her, talking to her, having shots with her and she says the girl i was talking to looks like a whore.

 

A week later she came along again, this time we went outside with our friends and she knew them as well, so at this bar, while me and her were talking, she points me at these two other girls and says, ''Jack i think they dig you''. But we had to leave the other minute because the bouncer wouldn't let my friend come in. And this time as i mentioned in the first post, what she did, i don't know if this was a test or not but i do know at this point, i am friends with her.

 

I just don't know what to do about it, she shows me all these signs and confuses me and no i don't want to ask her out, i did before, she lied to me, it was too early i do admit that but i need to see some signs of interest from her, she only shows that when i am there but what about the other days. It maybe be because i don't text her or contact her myself.

 

Maybe the problem is that i haven't complimented her yet. Which i haven't. I am planning to do it next time for sure when i see her and see how she reacts towards me after i do it ?. And yeah i need to give her a bit space, i mean try to ignore her a bit, because even though we don't keep in touch for a weeks period but when we are together, she is always by my side, and this makes it a bit obvious for her, that i do like her and makes it easy for her, i want to challange her, ignore her a bit and talk to other girls now and yes of course compliment her the same night to see her reaction, maybe this can get me out of the friend zone and if all goes well, i would kiss her and i am not afraid of doing that. I just want some opinions on this ?

[Absinthe]

In that case, I second what Philosiraptor wrote.