saying "I Love You"

[Darla]

I'm just kind of curious about something. I have been in a relationship with this guy for almost a year. We are very much in love, and things are great between us 90% of the time. However, he has stopped telling me that he loves me. He used to say it every day, every time he would leave me or hang up the phone with me. I would always tell him that I love him too. But now, he hardly ever says it anymore, except just occasionally. About 2 months ago, he would tell me maybe once every two weeks. But now, it's been nearly a month since he said it! I don't think he's not saying it because he doesn't love me, because his attitude toward me hasn't changed at all.

 

Could it maybe be because he just thinks that by now, I should just know it without him having to say it, or does he just want me to be the one to say it first? I know that those three little words aren't as big of a deal to guys usually as they are to girls, so am I just making a mountain out of a molehill?

[sparkle]

Hi Darla,

 

A lot of the time when something is said over and over, it loses its meaning and doesn't seem as special. Maybe he's tired of saying it all the time and wants to use it sparingly from now on. Or like you said, maybe he just expects you to know that he loves you. Whatever the reason may be, you two have been dating for almost a year, so I'm pretty sure you two communicate openly with each other...so it won't hurt to ask.

 

Personally, I would rather go out with a guy for a long time without him saying he loves me..and when he finally says it, it will be music to my ears and will mean a lot more than if he just said it over and over.

[Darla]

Thank you for your advice. I wish I could say that he and I communicate openly with each other, but I know that we don't because I find it difficult to talk to him about certain things, like why he has stopped telling me that he loves me. I did ask him about it the first time he stopped telling me, but it was hard for me to get up the nerve. He just assured me that he did love me, and started saying it again for a few weeks. And then he stopped again. I know that after a year, I should just be able to ask him or tell him anything, but I'm kind of shy, and so is he, and it's just not all that easy. This is really the only serious relationship I've ever been in, and I know it is for him, too. I sort of wonder if maybe for some reason he thinks that I don't love him, because whenever he first started saying it (which was after we had dated for about 2 months), I would say, "I love you, too." and then he would say (in a joking way) "I don't believe you." And I have never just said it to him first, I always just wait for him to say it.

 

I feel like this is really not that big of a deal compared to the problems that some people post on here, but it really hurts me that he doesn't say that anymore, and I know that I love him, but I find it very difficult to get up the nerve to tell him first. I guess I'm just afraid he might not say it back, since he hasn't said it to me for so long.

Hi Darla, A lot of the time when something is said over and over, it loses its meaning and doesn't seem as special. Maybe he's tired of saying it all the time and wants to use it sparingly from now on. Or like you said, maybe he just expects you to know that he loves you. Whatever the reason may be, you two have been dating for almost a year, so I'm pretty sure you two communicate openly with each other...so it won't hurt to ask. Personally, I would rather go out with a guy for a long time without him saying he loves me..and when he finally says it, it will be music to my ears and will mean a lot more than if he just said it over and over.