Friends cheating revenge, did he go too far?

[Spectre]

I guess I'm just curious if people think this guy went too far. Ok, well he is not really a friend of mine, more an aquaintence. Anyways so this apparently went down over the summer.

 

This couple was together for 5 years and on this past New Years eve the guy proposed and she said yes and was apparently very excited, etc. They planned it so that it would be a summer wedding, and the brides parents were footing the bill not only for the wedding, but for the honeymoon too(a trip to Hawaii).

 

So about two months before the wedding he finds out that a year into the relationship she slept with another guy(apparently only happened once). I'm not sure how he found out since the bride didn't confess, but he somehow found out.

 

However, he didn't confront her about it right away. Rather he waited until after both the wedding AND the honeymoon. He says he did this out of revenge, he wanted her parents to be footing the bill and then know they had wasted all that money because their daughter was a cheater.

 

They were living together and he planned it so that the day they returned from the honeymoon there would be moving trucks outside their house, packing her stuff up. So when they got home she was asking what the trucks were for and if maybe he was setting up some surprise for her, but then he revealed he knew what she had done and that the trucks were not here for any surprise, but rather to take her belongings to a place of her choosing, as long as it wasn't their home.

 

So the bride was pretty devastated and of course tried to pull the whole "it doesn't mean I don't love you!" thing(which of course it means you don't love him lady). So I guess I'm wondering what people think, was this too far? Should he of just confronted her as soon as he found out about the cheating?

 

Personally I had very little problem with it, I do feel kinda bad for her, but then again she shouldn't of cheated and definitely shouldn't of had the audacity to accept a marriage proposal without being completely honest about what you had done.

[GorillaTheater]

He married her? For revenge?

 

Gives new meaning to the old proverb having to do with with digging two graves while planning revenge.

 

Your friend sounds like an over-the-top drama queen who's willing to shoot himself and innocent third parties in the foot for the sake of theatrics.

[jphcbpa]

so now she gets 1/2 his stuff?

[d0nnivain]

He's an *******. I wish her parents could sue him for all that money. He lied.

 

 

FOUR YEARS earlier she made a mistake & presumably didn't do it again. The mature thing would have been to talk about it before the wedding & either forgive & move forward or break up. To do what he did was despicable. It makes a mockery of marriage.

 

 

For her sake she need to be glad this immature D1ck is out of her life.

[Clay]

You can look at this problem in many ways but in the end you allways come back to one point. She cheated. How did she expect things to turn out after that. I understand your point he waited and probably did not do things right but seriously it could have turned out much worse. Pick up any paper these days. People get killed for these things these days. Its absolutely horrible. It ruins peoples lives.

 

In the end she rolled the dice. Sadly other people that were innocent lost out because of what she did.

 

Clay

[Woggle]

He should have just dumped her on the spot.

[fixing]

Dont get me started about cheating whores (And the male equivalent)

But, this is way to far. What an idiot, he's now officially married to a cheating whore, lol and presumably he will now be a divorcee.

She's a cheat, and i despise them with a passion.

Him on the other hand, hes a complete idiot. He should of been the bigger man and walked away the moment he found out.

[ThatMan]

FOUR YEARS earlier she made a mistake & presumably didn't do it again. The mature thing would have been to talk about it before the wedding & either forgive & move forward or break up. To do what he did was despicable. It makes a mockery of marriage.

 

No.

She made a choice, and a terrible one. They've both made awful choices.

If I knew either of them I would question whether or not I want either of these drama-queens in my life as friends.

[Clay]

I don't like it because your friend sounds like a drama sucking doucher. Leave this kind of shlt for the movies.

 

And Clay, I get what you're saying but the fact that other cases end up with people hurt has zero implications on this one. Dude got cheated on, years later decided that rather than just handling it like a normal person and talking it out or making her beat feet leaving, he deliberately manipulated the situation to drain as much money as possible from a completely innocent third party (her parents). They're probably not young. Times are hard. They were clearly ecstatic for their daughter so they put forth a lot of money, and it may not have been just spare cash they had laying around either.

 

So in the end, instead of your friend ending up on the higher ground, he comes off looking like a gigantic, vindictive, bitter, immature, drama-loving assh0le. The kind that gets talked about and laughed at during future family Christmas parties.

 

Could have been played better.

 

 

I totally agree with you. I would not have done what he did but only he can decide what he needed to do. He will have to live with what ever they come after him for now.

 

I would have kicked her to the curb and moved on.

 

Clay

[sidney2718]

You can look at this problem in many ways but in the end you allways come back to one point. She cheated. How did she expect things to turn out after that. I understand your point he waited and probably did not do things right but seriously it could have turned out much worse. Pick up any paper these days. People get killed for these things these days. Its absolutely horrible. It ruins peoples lives.

 

In the end she rolled the dice. Sadly other people that were innocent lost out because of what she did.

 

Clay

 

I don't agree. IF the wife cheated (before the marriage), that does not give the H the right to kill her, beat her up, or rob her. By allowing the marriage to proceed while he had the intent to divorce her, means that he robbed her and her family of probably a considerable sum of money.

 

In fact (I'm not a lawyer) the wife's family probably can file a civil suit against him and probably should.

 

But what is worse, how does the H KNOW that his wife cheated? To have a leg to stand on he'd need incontrovertible evidence, which is very hard to come by. And if he does not have that evidence, he's the worst sort of despicable human I've heard of in years.

[Spectre]

I have to say..earlier I said I had very little problem with it. However, now I find I do. If he wanted to humiliate her..then fine whatever, but he could of done that in so many ways before the wedding ever took place if that is what he felt he needed to do. One of the rare cases where a big part of me can't help but feel the punishment doesn't fit the crime.

 

One thing I do want to point out since someone mentioned her getting half his stuff. Apparently he has concrete proof of an affair that he could show in court during divorce proceedings. At the same time though I wonder if what he did will effect anything in court. Is what he did specifically illegal?

[Clay]

I don't agree. IF the wife cheated (before the marriage), that does not give the H the right to kill her, beat her up, or rob her. By allowing the marriage to proceed while he had the intent to divorce her, means that he robbed her and her family of probably a considerable sum of money.

 

In fact (I'm not a lawyer) the wife's family probably can file a civil suit against him and probably should.

 

But what is worse, how does the H KNOW that his wife cheated? To have a leg to stand on he'd need incontrovertible evidence, which is very hard to come by. And if he does not have that evidence, he's the worst sort of despicable human I've heard of in years.

 

 

I think you really should read what I wrote. I am in no way saying any of those things are right nor do I support any of those things in any way shape or form. I am simply saying If you cheat you are playing with fire. Its the same if you run out on a busy highway you are taking a chance on getting hurt. The implications of her actions are solely hers. In this case I think his actions were wrong but on a more serious note I am not in his shoes I do not have all the information. There might be other factors that we do not know.

 

Clay

[bubbaganoosh]

He had two months before the wedding. When he found out he should have told her that the wedding was off and informed her parents to let them know so maybe they could get some of their money back for the wedding. You know. The adult thing to do.

 

The parents shouldn't have had to suffer for their daughters infidelity. They didn't have anything to do with it and this guy IMO did nothing but steal money from them. They should get a good attorney and sue the guy for fraud or for being an A hole. That was a really chicken $h!t thing to do and make their goody two shoes daughter help out on paying them back. She would have kept her knees together, none of this would have happened.

[Chi townD]

Man, I've heard this story before, and about 5 different variations of it.

 

Here's one of them:

 

[imfine]

"One thing I do want to point out since someone mentioned her getting half his stuff. Apparently he has concrete proof of an affair that he could show in court during divorce proceedings. At the same time though I wonder if what he did will effect anything in court. Is what he did specifically illegal?"

 

I seriously doubt this guy can claim adultery since it happened before the marriage and he had knowledge of prior to marrying her. I in know way condone what she did, but what he did was no less of a betrayal. I hope her parents sue him for every penny they spent and win.

[violet1]

He's an *******. I wish her parents could sue him for all that money. He lied.

 

 

FOUR YEARS earlier she made a mistake & presumably didn't do it again. The mature thing would have been to talk about it before the wedding & either forgive & move forward or break up. To do what he did was despicable. It makes a mockery of marriage.

 

 

For her sake she need to be glad this immature D1ck is out of her life.

 

Yep, people like him ruin marriage. I'm sorry, but what he did is so much worse than her cheating. He also lied and took a vow he never intended to keep. Not only did he betray her, but her parents and anyone else who attended their sham of a wedding. For what? Revenge!?! The last laugh? Seriously, this story and stories alike make me sick.

[crederer]

They both sound like idiots and he sounds like a glutton for punishment.

[samsungxoxo]

I just don't understand it. If he knew she cheated a couple months before the wedding, why did he go through all that trouble of still marrying her (even if it was for revenge) and having all the guests present when he could have dumped her in that moment.

 

I think he can now get financially in trouble for pulling that stunt. She cheated and it wasn't good but he scammed a marriage. I think that's worse.

[sayyes19]

I just don't understand it. If he knew she cheated a couple months before the wedding, why did he go through all that trouble of still marrying her (even if it was for revenge) and having all the guests present when he could have dumped her in that moment.

 

I think he can now get financially in trouble for pulling that stunt. She cheated and it wasn't good but he scammed a marriage. I think that's worse.

 

I'm not sure that I believe this story, but not only did he screw her he screwed a lot of other people. I think revenge is only warranted in a few cases, but in all cases you don't drag everyone else into it. Also, I can't imagine going through the nuptials and being able to fake it the entire time. This would be very sociopathic. He should have just outed her to family and friends if he wanted to get revenge.

[Spectre]

I know the story sounds weird, but it happened. Unless all the people I talked to about it since my last post here were involved in a really impressive prank.

 

Man, I've heard this story before, and about 5 different variations of it.

 

Here's one of them:

 

 

Damn that clip was pretty funny, it had the dude from malcolm in the middle in it. Is this from a movie?

 

I can only imagine what would of happened if this guy had exposed it during the wedding. The family probably would of killed him.

Edited December 1, 2013 by Spectre

[painfullyobvious]

so now she gets 1/2 his stuff?

 

Exactly what I was going to write.

 

I have heard many versions of stories similar to this. I have heard this story, "the under your chair story" where the groom gives a toast and tells the wedding guests that the bride is a cheating "whatever" with the best man, tells everyone to f-off but before leaving has pictures of the bride and best man cheating taped under everyone's chair for everyone to view.

 

If this truly happened and live in a house, half the house is hers in most states, along with assets and what not. It would be in expensive revenge. Most likely costing more than the honeymoon and wedding.

[Spectre]

I'm, beginning to wonder if the dude did some research on the net and planned this because he found those clips or stories? I don't know. It definitely wasn't some grand thing where they were exposed in front of everyone.

 

Though if he has proof of the cheating..can she really get half his stuff?

[ascendotum]

Though if he has proof of the cheating..can she really get half his stuff?

 

Yes. No blame divorce. The judge wont care about who did what or who said this in such cases, most of which will be unsubstantiated. I do believe in revenge but the guy in this story took it too far and burned her parents money and wasted the time of many others. It would have been a dumb move if he went into the marriage with a lot more assets.

 

Likewise I have heard a variation of this story by a friend of a friend, where the guy's best friend supposedly got proof his friend's gf had cheated on him. He found this out after he had proposed and was a few months away from marriage. He told his friend who decided to sit on it. On the day of the wedding the groom arranged for his friend to act on it at the point in the ceremony where the priest asks 'If any of you has reasons why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace'. the friend stood and announced her betrayal, and the groom faked his shock reaction, though the anger would have been real. The ensuing ****storm would have made for good reality tv. These stories I have no doubt have gone down for some people, but not sure how common they are when they get retold as in 'I know someone who....'

[peruano99]

Jokes on your friend now. His stupidity will cause him to lose 1/2 of his stuff.

[Space Ritual]

I guess I'm just curious if people think this guy went too far. Ok, well he is not really a friend of mine, more an aquaintence. Anyways so this apparently went down over the summer.

 

This couple was together for 5 years and on this past New Years eve the guy proposed and she said yes and was apparently very excited, etc. They planned it so that it would be a summer wedding, and the brides parents were footing the bill not only for the wedding, but for the honeymoon too(a trip to Hawaii).

 

So about two months before the wedding he finds out that a year into the relationship she slept with another guy(apparently only happened once). I'm not sure how he found out since the bride didn't confess, but he somehow found out.

 

However, he didn't confront her about it right away. Rather he waited until after both the wedding AND the honeymoon. He says he did this out of revenge, he wanted her parents to be footing the bill and then know they had wasted all that money because their daughter was a cheater.

 

They were living together and he planned it so that the day they returned from the honeymoon there would be moving trucks outside their house, packing her stuff up. So when they got home she was asking what the trucks were for and if maybe he was setting up some surprise for her, but then he revealed he knew what she had done and that the trucks were not here for any surprise, but rather to take her belongings to a place of her choosing, as long as it wasn't their home.

 

So the bride was pretty devastated and of course tried to pull the whole "it doesn't mean I don't love you!" thing(which of course it means you don't love him lady). So I guess I'm wondering what people think, was this too far? Should he of just confronted her as soon as he found out about the cheating?

 

Personally I had very little problem with it, I do feel kinda bad for her, but then again she shouldn't of cheated and definitely shouldn't of had the audacity to accept a marriage proposal without being completely honest about what you had done.

 

 

I don't think it went way too far at all...I have to hand it to the guy to be able to play it so close to the vest. Most people of either gender in that position would not have been able to contain themselves and ended it right then and there.

 

Yeah she may be granted half of his money(not likely being most settlements state specifically that the marital assets obtained through the length of the marriage) but the guy has hi integrity intact...and there is no monetary value that can ever be placed on that.

 

It must have taken a Hurculean effort on his part to go through with the wedding and honeymoon and then have it all planned out like that. It is a true example of Revenge being a dish best served cold:)

Edited December 4, 2013 by Space Ritual