It's been a year and I'm Still Lost...

[AnyaNova]

A new distraction will take her place...

 

Sounds like a great way indeed to wind up here in another year, posting about how it has been two years and you are still lost.

 

Perhaps taking some time for yourself to heal, figure out what went wrong, evaluate yourself and your life, and instead of "just going" with the dopamine highs pretty train wrecks give you, perhaps contemplate looking for something more stable, not necessarily yet a new life-long partner or anything that long term or binding.

 

But perhaps someone with their life together or nearly so who you highly suspect would actually be faithful to you. Yes, it might seem boring at first, however, eventually you might find you prefer some quality stability and intimacy to the wild dopamine rides and crashes.

[theothersully]

I can't even begin to thank you all enough for helping me see different perspectives. It is so helpful to hear advice from people on here.

[theothersully]

as i elaborated.

 

of course you were in control. that was the whole point.

 

exactly

 

lol black devil magic. no, your re-enactment was perfect. your experience was perfect. exactly what you needed. & you went through it despite the inevitable hurt. very brave.

 

lol, but you're done at the triad. that 'poor fellow' did it for you. done.

 

it absolutely is the right thing to do. business comes second to what you need emotionally at this important point you've paid your dues willingly & bravely to get to. you deserve a bright red leather bow.

 

 

j

 

Oh wow, I understand....

[Outsider77]

I really hope everything works out for you. Don't date girls who make you feel bad. Maybe if you are getting attached to these women so easily, you should just take a break for a while. Don't let yourself get sucked in by someone who is using you.

[theothersully]

Sounds like a great way indeed to wind up here in another year, posting about how it has been two years and you are still lost.

 

Perhaps taking some time for yourself to heal, figure out what went wrong, evaluate yourself and your life, and instead of "just going" with the dopamine highs pretty train wrecks give you, perhaps contemplate looking for something more stable, not necessarily yet a new life-long partner or anything that long term or binding.

 

But perhaps someone with their life together or nearly so who you highly suspect would actually be faithful to you. Yes, it might seem boring at first, however, eventually you might find you prefer some quality stability and intimacy to the wild dopamine rides and crashes.

 

Honestly, I've tried for a whole year. I can't figure myself or my life out. There are all these conflicting feelings. I have a career that kind of needs a second person... a partner in life. Yacht charters. Without a partner, it is the most lonely thing in the world. Then i have another business i started in the interim while my new boat is being finished. A more social business, to replace the missing $60k the ex drained out of the joint account on the way out the door. It's been great fun, but i long for my life at the water's edge with a special someone. It's a very healthy, stress free life. Heaven on earth with the right person. But I don't have that right person...

 

I don't know which of the two businesses to do, i don't know if i'm ready for a relationship, don't know where to meet the rare kind of free spirit i need, etc.... like the title says, a year later and i'm lost. The more i think about it, the more lost i become and the more upsetting the whole thing is. The distractions are my only escape from it...

 

Some people turn to drugs, some to drinking. Apparently, I turn to sex/women and that rush.

Edited November 30, 2013 by theothersully