Canadiangirl78 Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 Try to remember there is a lot more to you then being "his girl". You have likes and dislikes, talents, hobbies, friends, family etc. There are many pieces of you that have nothing to do with him. Find those things again, enjoy them and enjoy getting to know yourself again. As hard as it is, you are supposed to feel this way right now. Losing your first love is extremely hard but since it's your first love, that means you have a lifetime of other love(s) to experience in the future. You can't give up now, you have so much to look forward to. Consider those people here who are much older and have lost their husbands/wives of 10,20,30+ years with children involved etc. I'm not saying their pain is more important than yours, but I am saying that if those people can get over this so can you! Please keep posting here as often as you need, it is truly a great support system, especially when you feel like your friends and family have heard enough about it and don't want to talk about it anymore. Keep your chin up and stay strong honey! I know you will get through this..I promise you will! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 I'm so sorry you are going through this. I think that when we're in a relationship that means so much to us, our identity tends to because linked to that person; so when it ends, we do feel as though a part of - - if not all of us has died. But as Canadiangirl78 said, please try to remember that there is more to you than being "his girl". I know you can't or - - understandably - - don't want to think of yourself of being anything other than that. I certainly didn't after my last (which was also my first) breakup either. I felt suicidal about it as well. But as time went on and the reality that it was over started to sink in - - no matter how much I didn't want it to - - I started to look to other distractions and of course - - when that didn't work - - came here to LS for much needed support. Overtime, I was able to re/discover parts of myself I had abandoned or I never really knew existed. I was able to further develop my interests, re-connect with friends (and make some new ones), etc. Of course, it didn't happen overnight but after several months I started to feel like a whole, complete person again. And yes I have had my share of heartbreaks since - - including a recent one that brought me back here to LS. But I'm in a much better place to deal with them now had I not gone through the pain of losing that first love... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 Also try to keep in mind that heartbreak is magnified immensely this time of year. Heartbreak feels so much worse this time of year. I was in the grocery store a couple days ago and had a huge lump in my throat and it took everything I had not to cry when I saw the holiday egg nog. (true story) So sorry for your pain!!! But you will feel better and I bet it will be sooner than you think. You're in my thoughts. ((hugs)) This is SO true. It's very hard knowing that they are off happy with their new gf or bf and could care less about what they've done to us, enjoying the holidays as we struggle to find peace of mind. But I'd rather be alone than to be in communication with someone who isn't worthy or appreciative of my love and just makes me feel not good enough. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HangingOnToHope Posted November 26, 2013 Author Share Posted November 26, 2013 To be fair, he's not making her feel that way. She's making herself feel that way. He is actually doing her a kindness by being distant. I disagree. I work at an in-patient psych facility. Many factors account to it. what do you exactly mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Pa76 Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 Trust me I know how rough it is. Do not end your life over him. Nothing is worth ending your life. I've had those thoughts but would never cause I know good things will eventually happen. I just signed up for kickboxing so I can not only get into better shape but also put all my feelings into this bag I will be kicking and punching. Plus instructors are professional fighters who are hot so that's another plus.haha. Write down everything you have always wanted to do and get started on that list. Put your energy into doing things for yourself because you deserve it. Sure cry but you need to stop soon by telling yourself no more. There is another guy out there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Silver Fox Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 If you don't hang on you won't be around to experience that life changing thing that will happen to you tomorrow,or the next day, or next month. In business and in my love life Ive been down to my last 20 dollars for food, or lonely for a kind word. From nowhere the phone can ring or a wait with a stranger in a coffee line can turn your life around. It's incredible how fast it can happen. Just be around when it happens. Be out in the world so that it finds you. The opportunity isn't going to knock on your door and say, "hey get dressed, we're going out. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Phantomu Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 First off your farting story is hilarious. secondly, a lot of us have been through this and you are young. You said he was your first and that can also be very hard for you I understand. What you CAN do is stop asking him about it and kind of let him do his thing. I assume you two go to school together so you can still be nice to him when you see him. Demonstrate your happiness as a person and show him you can go on just fine. He WILL notice this! Right now he knows he can have you back whenever he wants. Like I said you are young so even if this doesn't work out (not trying to discourage you) You have SO MUCH TIME to meet new people and go to school. It will not be the end for you if he doesn't come back, I promise you. Don't ask him anymore about it and let him decide. He is a young man and I know what being a teenage boy is like. You sound like a sweet girl and I hope that he does change his mind because you sound like you really care for him. Let him notice this absence and refrain from going out of your way to talk to him. He will realize he doesn't have you wrapped around his finger. Good luck. Keep us posted. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HangingOnToHope Posted November 27, 2013 Author Share Posted November 27, 2013 In the beginning of the summer, my prescription medication for anxiety was changed to a different type of pill. I had also been taking birth control for a while (& still am). So, when I went to my doctor the other day i found out that my new anxiety pill that i was taking combined with taking birth control, had a really bad reaction to my hormone levels and the balance and such with them. Which caused me to have rapid mood changes, moodiness, neediness, whining, and just being a bitch sometimes. Before I started with the new anxiety pill before summer, my boyfriend and I have always gotten along so well pretty much most of our relationship. He knew me for the sweet, funny, care-free, and innocent girl. I was still like this in the summer but not nearly as much as i was before because of the reaction i had with my hormone chemicals. That's why my boyfriend ended it. He thought I actually did change as a person and that I turned into a nag of a girlfriend for good. But NO, as i had just found out, it wasn't the real me. It was because the medication combo just had a weird reaction to me and caused me to have uncontrolable emotions. So anyway, i told my ex-boyfriend this all last night. Afterwards, i told him that if i knew that the medication was causing me to be like how i was, i would have gotten off of it right away and we would be fine like how we always used to be before this! I also told him that if he gave it a chance, i would be the same girl that he knew and loved so much! And i also said that maybe we just need some time now to have a fresh start soon. But all's he said was **** like "idk i cant promise anything but yea maybe you're right who knows". I just feel so like sad and disapointed and i feel like he didn't even take any of what i told him into consideration or understanding. Like he knows me better than that! He knows that before i got my medicine changed we had an amazing relationship and that we was in love with me! Ugh....sorry for all the long details. I just have no idea what he is thinking or where this is all going to go.... Link to post Share on other sites
Never Again Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 HangingOnToHope, there isn't much you can do right now. Focus on getting yourself in order. Get your medication squared away and your moods back in line. Don't TELL your ex anything from now on. You've given him enough to chew on. Right now he's being moody and doesn't have any medication combos to blame it on. Let him SEE that you're better. Don't flaunt it or go out of your way. The very fact that you're going to cut off contact with him will show him that you're not dependent on him any longer. We've all been in rough places - trust me, I've got a whole thread devoted to the horrible experiences that led to my relationship imploding. We understand and we'll do the best that random internet strangers can to help you through it. Link to post Share on other sites
Shaine Posted November 28, 2013 Share Posted November 28, 2013 Pms ruined my relationship too. Few can understand this but it's a real thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 28, 2013 Share Posted November 28, 2013 In the beginning of the summer, .. Hey, at least read my response to one of your earlier threads!! (note here just to let you know to look for it) Link to post Share on other sites
Author HangingOnToHope Posted November 30, 2013 Author Share Posted November 30, 2013 Almost 2 months ago my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years broke up with me because of my recent random mood changes. He said he was just tired of it so he ended it. Anyway, i was doing okay for a couple of days but now i'm back to feeling suicidal and i just feel like ending my life so i don't have to be any more heartbroken. So, In the beginning of the summer, my prescription medication for anxiety was changed to a different type of pill. I had also been taking birth control for a while (& still am). So, when I went to my doctor the other day i found out that my new anxiety pill that i was taking combined with taking birth control, had a really bad reaction to my hormone levels and the balance and such with them. Which caused me to have rapid mood changes, moodiness, neediness, whining, and just being a bitch sometimes. Before I started with the new anxiety pill before summer, my boyfriend and I have always gotten along so well pretty much most of our relationship. He knew me for the sweet, funny, care-free, and innocent girl. I was still like this in the summer but not nearly as much as i was before because of the reaction i had with my hormone chemicals. That's why my boyfriend ended it. He thought I actually did change as a person and that I turned into a nag of a girlfriend for good. But NO, as i had just found out, it wasn't the real me. It was because the medication combo just had a weird reaction to me and caused me to have uncontrolable emotions. So anyway, i told my ex-boyfriend this all last night. Afterwards, i told him that if i knew that the medication was causing me to be like how i was, i would have gotten off of it right away and we would be fine like how we always used to be before this! I also told him that if he gave it a chance, i would be the same girl that he knew and loved so much! And i also said that maybe we just need some time now to have a fresh start soon. But all's he said was **** like "idk i cant promise anything but yea maybe you're right who knows. Maybe we can talk in a little while and hangout and see what happens from there." I just feel so like sad and disapointed and i feel like he didn't even take any of what i told him into consideration or understanding. Like he knows me better than that! He knows that before i got my medicine changed we had an amazing relationship and that we was in love with me! Ugh....sorry for all the long details. I just have no idea what he is thinking or where this is all going to go.... We had many mile stones together. We lost our virginity, we celebrated sweet 16's, we both got our licenses, etc. I was just a little teenager when i met him, 14!! And now were both 17. Before i started taking the new medication, our relationship was amazing. We were like best friends. We were always laughing and just having a good time no matter what we did. We were so close that we even farted around each other!!(sorry). He always used to say how different i am than any other girl he's ever known/dated...but in a good way. Every weekend we would have sleepovers, go out to parties, dinner, bowling, the movies, or we would just cuddle and watch movies and eat pizza on rainy days. Link to post Share on other sites
elbe Posted November 30, 2013 Share Posted November 30, 2013 Is this a re-post? Listen to me girly, the first breakup is the worst. You are going to have to fight through this. Try to relax. I know it's like you've lost your right arm but it's not that serious. Try to think of it as permanent.. imagine he's moved to China without a phone. Quit blaming yourself and your anxiety/depression. He broke up with you for reasons other than this. It's time to move on. There are millions of single guys in the world that would love to be with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HangingOnToHope Posted November 30, 2013 Author Share Posted November 30, 2013 YES i understand i have posted this a few times. I dont know how to delete the other ones. But why does that matter? Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted November 30, 2013 Share Posted November 30, 2013 What exactly are you hoping to gain from posting the exact same thing over and over? You have tons of great advice here. If you're seriously suicidal you need to go talk to your parents. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HangingOnToHope Posted November 30, 2013 Author Share Posted November 30, 2013 I don't need rude people on here talking to me. If your not going to be nice then please don't post to my thread at all. thank you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elbe Posted November 30, 2013 Share Posted November 30, 2013 YES i understand i have posted this a few times. I dont know how to delete the other ones. But why does that matter? It's the same people on here that were on the last post. Are you hoping for someone to tell you that you can get back with this guy? You aren't going to get that answer. This forum is about wellness not giving false hope. The sooner you accept this the sooner you can fix yourself and your suicidal feelings. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted November 30, 2013 Share Posted November 30, 2013 YES i understand i have posted this a few times. I dont know how to delete the other ones. But why does that matter? You can't delete the other ones. Once posted, it's there for good and forever. There's no need to keep creating threads. Pick one, and post in that one only. You need to really pull yourself up from this funk you're in. Yes it's a breakup, Yes it sucks. Yes it hurts but it does not warrant you killing yourself over. It's your first breakup so you've never experienced this before and it's going to feel like the end of the world. It's not. You're going to have so many other boyfriends, and you're going to be dumped countless times again, as will do dump guys as well. At 17, he's also still a kid. As are you. He has no clue what he wants for a lifetime, neither do you. You have so much more growing up to do, so much more to experience. I saw in another thread that you say you've never met anyone you've felt this way about... think about that logically now. How COULD you have?!? You started dating this guy at 14. Why would you have met someone like him before that? You were too young, and now you're single, so NOW you will meet people who are just as great, if not greater. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
elbe Posted November 30, 2013 Share Posted November 30, 2013 I don't need rude people on here talking to me. If your not going to be nice then please don't post to my thread at all. thank you. The truth hurts sometimes especially on the matter of relationships... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted November 30, 2013 Share Posted November 30, 2013 I don't need rude people on here talking to me. If your not going to be nice then please don't post to my thread at all. thank you. You're going to learn something about this forum. Although it is very supportive, it is VERY full of tough love. Very few, if any people on here are going to blow smoke up your butt, tell you what you want to hear, hand hold, or sugar coat your situation. It's not being rude, it's us older, wiser, and more experienced people telling you what you should be doing, what you shouldn't be doing, and how you should be moving on from this. You have so much to look forward to from here on out. Don't waste it dwelling on this kid. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 30, 2013 Share Posted November 30, 2013 Almost 2 months ago my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years broke up with me. You keep cranking out all of these new threads, but you're not keeping up with the recent, earlier threads you started on the same subject. Go and read earlier responses. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted November 30, 2013 Share Posted November 30, 2013 You're going to learn something about this forum. Although it is very supportive, it is VERY full of tough love. Very few, if any people on here are going to blow smoke up your butt, tell you what you want to hear, hand hold, or sugar coat your situation. It's not being rude, it's us older, wiser, and more experienced people telling you what you should be doing, what you shouldn't be doing, and how you should be moving on from this. You have so much to look forward to from here on out. Don't waste it dwelling on this kid. And I'll add to this by saying OP, you know why you'll only get tough love here? BECAUSE EVERYONE HERE HAS HAD THEIR HEART BROKEN AND GONE THROUGH EXACTLY WHAT YOURE GOING THROUGH. And some of us more than once. Your situation is not unique. This is your first. You're only 17 years old! Listen to us. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HangingOnToHope Posted November 30, 2013 Author Share Posted November 30, 2013 ok i get it. i know i shouldn't of re-posted my threads. i understand. so please stop bashing me on it Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted November 30, 2013 Share Posted November 30, 2013 ok i get it. i know i shouldn't of re-posted my threads. i understand. so please stop bashing me on it Were not talking about that anymore. Just dont do it again.. NOW GO GET ACTUAL HELP! Forums cannot help you unless you are just wanting attention which Im not sure. Either way, go talk to parents or close family members and get some help 3 Link to post Share on other sites
elbe Posted November 30, 2013 Share Posted November 30, 2013 Suicide is nothing to joke around about. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts