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Do all marriages suck after 10 years? Marriages are overrated

emotionlessbutalive

By emotionlessbutalive
in Marriage and Life Partnerships

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emotionlessbutalive Member

emotionlessbutalive

Posted
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Some men cheat and the men who dont cheat are loosers. I havent seen a fullfilled happy marriage. I have friends whose husbands are good providers and caretakers and keep wife happy but cheat. And I have friends who have husbands who dont cheat, but are loosers. Suck being providers and in bed.

 

I would love to hear opinions of first successfull happy marriages.

Philosoraptor Established Member

Philosoraptor

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Haha what a generalization. My parents have been married for 35 years and though every couple has ruts, they still have fun. It's a good time being around them, and was a positive thing to grow up with.

  • Like 2
down hearted Established Member

down hearted

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Haha what a generalization. My parents have been married for 35 years and though every couple has ruts, they still have fun. It's a good time being around them, and was a positive thing to grow up with.

 

Have to agree with this post, my parents have also been married a really really long many years and they still laugh, joke around, and travel all the time together i mean they get upset about dumb things every now and then but nothing that takes more than a day to get over. My dad has never cheated and he isn't a looser either he has very well provided for us and has always been so great with my mom and they still act as though they just started dating when in fact have been together for many years. Thats a very black and white generalization you made though, not everyone is like that, i mean if we were to think like this that all men will cheat and or not provide no one would ever get married in the first place or even think about marriage or even bother to get into relationships if the end result will always be this way. It all truly depends on the person don't you think? I am sure there are plenty of successful marriages and i hope mines turns out like my parents marriage. I mean no marriage is easy.

  • Like 1
pteromom Established Member

pteromom

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Marriages aren't overrated. But a lot of people choose their partners poorly.

 

They get into a relationship with a "loser" based on his perceived potential, instead of being realistic.

 

Or they don't pay attention to all the red flags that indicate he is a cheater. It does happen that good people stumble and cheat, but a lot of the time, the guy is a liar in general, and there are plenty of indicators that he is all about getting what he wants at the expense of others.

 

I have plenty of friends in happy successful marriages. The ones I know who are truly the happiest are the ones who are married to their best friends. They have truly mutual and equal marriages. They respect each other and accept each other fully.

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dreamingoftigers Established Member

dreamingoftigers

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Looser than what exactly?

  • Like 8
Peanut9330 Established Member

Peanut9330

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Not only men cheat and are losers as you put it, there are women who cheat as well.

 

A successful marriage takes work, commitment and trust from both parties. On that note I know plenty of people who have been married now for 30+ years.

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Debanked Established Member

Debanked

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Yeah but people hate putting in the work. It's bail at the first sign or trouble! Tell you what ...EVERYONE has baggage.

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Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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And I thought the people I know have miserable marriages.

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Quiet Storm Established Member

Quiet Storm

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I am happy with my husband. It's been 22 years together. He is not a loser or a cheater.

 

The problem is that many people do not know how to be happy. They expect others to "make" them happy, and that's impossible. Happiness comes from within, it's intrinsic. You have to be secure in yourself, and responsible for your own feelings, in order to be a good partner to anyone.

 

So if a marriage contains one or two people that expect happiness from the relationship alone, it will fail. A marriage should just provide extra joy to an already happy person.

 

If a marriage contains two emotionally healthy people that are secure in themselves & have realistic expectations, it is more likely to work.

  • Like 5
oldshirt Established Member

oldshirt

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there are lots of healthy and happy marriages that are well over 10 years. There's no one out there living in perpetual bliss 24/7 for 50 years but there are lots of people that are in happy, healthy functional marraiges where neither are cheats and neither are losers.

 

Unfortunately you are simply not happy and satisfied in your own marriage and so you are looking at the world through your own dark perspective.

 

Your dissatisfaction is souring you and poisoning your world view.

 

It's time to $hit or get off the pot. I like Morgan Freeman's line, "get busy living or get busy dying." In this case it applies as, "get busy cleaning your own house and address your marital issues head'on and with conviction. Or get busy working on an amicable divorce and give that your full attention and conviction.

 

Commit to one or the other and give it your best, because you are becoming embittered and toxic and it is tainting how you view the world.

  • Like 2
bwright42tx Established Member

bwright42tx

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My parents have been married for almost 40 years and are happily married. As are several other couples that are friends of theirs. None of the husbands are losers and none of the couples have ever cheated.

 

My wife and I are happily married. There was an EA about 12 years ago by my wife, but we are long past that and happily married and looking forward to spending the rest of our lives together.

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GorillaTheater Established Member

GorillaTheater

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As of next month, my wife and I will have been married 30 years. It's been wonderful at times, and it's been tough at times. We still struggle with communication and expectations, but we love each other too much to quit working at it.

 

Right now you have a pretty bitter outlook. The bad news and good news is that the only person you can change is you.

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Lauriebell82 Established Member

Lauriebell82

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A successful marriage doesn't mean you have to be happy and blissful every second of the day. It means you work hard at your relationship, tackle any obstacles that come along the way, and at the end of the day continue to love and support each other.

  • Like 3
crederer Established Member

crederer

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Looser than what exactly?

 

Beat me to it. I was going to say the same.

 

You sound upset, OP. In my opinion a guy that cheats is a loser, a guy that sticks around is cool. Maybe you're simply attracted to the wrong type of guy.

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