Trying to walk away from a married man

[froggie3470]

Okay, I need help. I just don't know how to deal with my situation anymore. I have been in love with a married man for the last six years. He was single and we lived together at one point, we planned on having a child together. He went back to his wife and kicked me out and we found out I was pregnant. He stayed with his wife, moved with her out of state and I had a beautiful son, (who is now 3). So, needless to say I have put up with a great many obstacles, when he was gone he called almost everyday and came back to visit, telling me how much he loves me and wants to be with me. I love this man so much, I feel lost without him. He keeps me hanging on by telling what I want to here and showing up once a week. But, I know I have to walk away. And that is very hard to do with a child involved. That is how he sucks me in everytime I tell him it is over. (Which by the way I have tried many times, I was even engaged to another man and finally ended it to go back to the married man) How do I find the will power to do it? - and stick with my decision.

[SadAndLonely]

Do you want your son to see that this behavior is appropriate? Be strong for him. Show him what a real woman is made of, and show him that real women are strong enough to walk away from this crap. If this man is your life, and you don't know what to do without him, then no offense meant, but you shouldn't have had a child. Children need strong role models, especially when they only have one. My father was a loser, but I'm very fortunate in that my mom is a very tough, smart woman who left his sorry ass when I was two and he started treating us like ****. She was laid off and we were on welfare and things were tough for a while, but I never saw her lose her composure, and I think that's a big part of the reason why I'm a successful product of a one-parent home today. She put me first. Learn to stand on your own two feet and not need some married idiot.

[izzybelle]

sad is right. if you can't walk away for yourself then do it for your son. while every child deserves to have a father in his life, if he's not there for him then he's not setting a good role model for your son as to how a dad should be!

 

i know this is going to be hard. the thought of being on your own and raising a child on your own is scary. and your situation is complicated because if your MM really does want to be a part of his life, now or later, it will be difficult for you to ever break free. so he may always be a part of your life but that doesn't mean he needs to be a part of your heart. you need somehow, through counseling or whatever works for you, to gain the self-confidence that you can be better than OK without him. i know, easier said then done. put your child first (i'm not saying that you don't) but as sad said, think about how you want him to view you and what kind of male role models you want in his life. think about what this will all mean for him as he grows up. i'm not saying you need to go out and find a husband to help you raise your son, but let him see your strength, he will someday respect and admire you for having the courage to do what's best for both of you.