dwilliams Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 Greetings all! I need a bit of advice from those who have been through this before. I have been divorced for 4 months ( after 15 years of marriage) and now my ex wife has invited me to come over for Thanksgiving. I have mixed feelings. I would like to be with my kids( 15 and 12) and her for that matter due to tradition if anything, but I think I need closure and time to heal. Has anyone been in this situation before. Am I sending the wrong message by going? Or should I just be professional go and have a good time and not get too hung up over the whole thing? Any advice is welcome. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
dumped2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 If it were me I would not go. I would have your kids over to your place on Friday and have your own Thanksgiving. Just my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
cozycottagelg Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 If you think it would mean a lot to your children, I'd go. If you don't think they'd care one way or the other, then politely decline. I am 33 and my parents split when I was 18. It was awkward at first and there was tension, but soon after, probably by the time I was in my early 20's, that was gone. They attend holidays at my house or both come for dinner and they are very friendly. It means the world to me. Link to post Share on other sites
dumped2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 I would say if the divorce was 2 years ago maybe, but this has only been 4 months. It is very fresh. Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 Yes, I agree with Dumped2013, don't go - start your own NEW tradition - "Thankgiving Friday!" Come up with a new traditional meal that only Dad serves! Maybe Honey Baked Ham! I bet they are on sale day after Thanksgiving too! Some little store carries them - they spiral slice them and everything. Pick up all the othere pre-made stuff from grocery deli! Ice Creme for desert! Or do IHOP for Thanksgiving? Whatever. Either you think up something really cool (doesn't have to involve a sit-down formal meal), just food and memorable fun - which is normally missing at typical Thanksgiving. OR, ask the kids. Tell them the truth - you guys gotta come up with a tradtion - get their feedback - then go do it. I really like the idea of u thinking it up though. It has to be something that will last through the years - not "Chucky Cheese." Make it a tradition, with pictures! And be sure it is totally different than the normal expected Thankgiving dinner - they will be eating that crap for the next ten days (but you special deli treats will be remembered)! Haha. CAN ANYONE THINK OF SUGGESTIONS? Boys or girls, iit were me, I'd fill them up with their favorite junk food all day, and order pizza in the evening. Perhaps take them to the gun range and teach them how to shoot. Maybe by next XMAS they will get their first rifle under the tree! I got my first gun, a 4/10/20 over-under when I was just 12 years old. Archery would be another totally cool thing to do also. Think out of the box. COME ON, MORE IDEAS.......... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dwilliams Posted November 26, 2013 Author Share Posted November 26, 2013 I appreciate all the feedback. I don't think I am going. I don't want to set a precedent and you are right about setting "traditions". Thanks for the clarity Link to post Share on other sites
Movingforward2 Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 I appreciate all the feedback. I don't think I am going. I don't want to set a precedent and you are right about setting "traditions". Thanks for the clarity In the same situation here. My D isn't final, but definitely going to be different this year. Definitely going to be some new traditions. I can't wait. And you shouldn't either. And you can stick it to the X. Link to post Share on other sites
TheBladeRunner Posted November 27, 2013 Share Posted November 27, 2013 I was in your same situation almost exactly last year (2012). DDay was mid August and here come those holidays; I must say it was a real tough thing for me to get through. I opted to stay away for Thanksgiving all together, but did go to the XW's for an hour to open presents last Christmas. Seeing my young daughter open presents was great, but being there with her in the old house was hard. I didn't miss her, but I sure missed the family. This year will be the same thing, I actually have a new tradition: Thanksgiving with my divorced buddies and instead of going to her house on Christmas she will have her during the day and I'll take her that night. I actually could deal with her for Christmas, I just don't feel like doing the in-laws place as that's where the X and daughter will be in the morning. She will come to my place for the evening then my daughter will stay with me that night. It get's easier with time I think, at least that's what I am working towards. Link to post Share on other sites
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