Pain is love...always had been always will be

[HurtwoU]

I need alot of advice. Esspecially from males. Ok last summer I met this guy at my friends house, Hos name is Steven. He did so much stuff to me since then It would take me 5 hours just to type it all. So let me just say, he cheated on me, lied, backstabbed , the whole bit. 4 months ago he moved to Stroudsburg, and out of no where he started to call me. We got closer and closer, and I fell in love with him, he called me everyday, and he didnt lie. Then a month ago he moved back up here, and hes best friends with a kid named Joey. He is the devil, Im not playing, he cheats on girls, and the bad part is hes not good at it, He steals off him friends and family, he raped me, he uses girls, he was in juvi a few times, hes kicked outta school, and the worse part is I know he is using Steven, but Steven says oh hes my homie, hes not using me, blah dee blah blah. Everytime he is around Joey he is so different to me, but when hes not around him, he tells me how much he loves me, and askes me out 20 times aday.

 

So I went back out with him, and I saw him for the first time in along time a week ago. He leaned in to kiss me and we did for a second and my mind flashed back to all the bad to did to me. It felt bad kissin him. Its hard to explain but I was in shock. My stomach hurt and my head was spinning. What does that mean? Hes in Stroudsburg now and I didnt see him in like 5 days. Im hearin alota stuff, and im not likin it.

 

Its so pathetic cuz in the past 5 days I wrote 3 letters to him breakin up with him, and I burned all of them. I dont have the guts to break up with him, and lose him in my life again. Even after all the pain, I still love him, but I just cant forgive and forget again. I did to many times. What do I do? I dont want to resort to breakin up with him....I just cant...so now what?

[SadAndLonely]

Then don't break up with him. Just stop talking to him. Or think about it this way...if you had a daughter you loved more than life itself, and her boyfriend were treating her this way, what would you tell her to do? At least love yourself this much.