What the Hell is Going On???

[jc63]

So, over the past week. My W has taken vacation from work.

 

The original plan for this vacation (when we were still together) was to take this vacation and pack up the house and begin putting stuff in storage for when we took our trip to Florida in January. After she left, she told me that she was going to take this time to pack up HER stuff that she would be taking with her and keeping it at her dad's until she left. She goes back to work tomorrow and she hasn't gotten a single thing.

 

Over the weekend, I posted a thread about how I was panicking and I thought I was losing my mind. We had gone a couple days of no contact, it was a Saturday night that I didn't have a gig, and everybody I knew was out on the town (including her). I was alone, my E-cigs stopped working, I felt crazy, lonely, and pathetic. At about midnight, I called my mother and she helped calm me down. (My parents have been divorced for years so she knows all about how I was feeling).

 

Since then, my W has been contacting me more (mostly text) and our conversations have been pretty pleasant (small talk). She was texting me today and asked about my Thanksgiving plans and if I was staying with my family for a couple of days so she could stay at the house. I told her I wasn't planning on staying the night but if she wanted me to, I would.

 

My question about the Thanksgiving thing is:

 

I've been sitting in this house alone for a month, looking at our pictures and memories while she's been staying with friends, constantly surrounded by people. Should I let her stay at the house so she has a few days to finally do the same thing? Would it even matter? I know she'd miss me more if she ever had time to be alone. And also with her texting me more, I'm happy that I'm at least on her mind, right? Do I let her stay or not?

 

The second thing:

 

We have our first MC session together next thursday. It's the last session that's paid for by her work and then the insurance takes over (I think). How to I go about interacting with her and the counselor that will make progress with her. Those of you who have been to MC, how does the session get started? Who talks first? Where do you begin?

 

All I know is I have one hour. One hour to at least make her want to keep going to sessions. I'm ready. I think she's ready (otherwise she wouldn't have agreed to go). But I want this to be effective.

[RightThere]

You'll get very little from the first session. It's basically a "get to know you" for the counselor. He won't be able to make much happen other than see if you are both open to working on the relationship.

[jc63]

The thing is, we've been both going separately for the past month, this is just the first session together.

 

So I'm guessing you're right because the counselor has to get to know us as a couple, not just individually. We only have another month before she leaves, I hope we can make enough progress...

[jc63]

One more thing:

 

My band is working on a new album (my last with them). Today, I have to send in my "Thank You" note that will appear on the inside of the album. Do I thank my W? The album won't be out for another couple months so I don't know where we will be as a couple by then. I feel like I should because she's been so supportive throughout my entire musical life. But if she doesn't come back, it's going to be really painful to see that when the album comes out.

 

Need some quick feedback please!

[RightThere]

One more thing:

 

My band is working on a new album (my last with them). Today, I have to send in my "Thank You" note that will appear on the inside of the album. Do I thank my W? The album won't be out for another couple months so I don't know where we will be as a couple by then. I feel like I should because she's been so supportive throughout my entire musical life. But if she doesn't come back, it's going to be really painful to see that when the album comes out.

 

Need some quick feedback please!

 

There is no answer to this that is going to be right. So you just decide and do it.

 

And on the counselling sessions, individual is focused on the individual. Couples counselling is very different because it is focused on the relationship. And they do not mix. Individual counselling will always make sure the individual is getting what they want. That will often run contrary to what the relationship needs.