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Drifted apart, how do I get her back? (formerly: Don't even kn)


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I just got together with this girl about 1 month ago, and we have so much in common, we would practicaly spend every day together. She would come over, we would go to my bedroom and do all sorts of fun things, it was great, but dont get me wrong, that isnt all we did, we went out and what not. In any case her and I were getting close and now...I called her to tell her how i needed to turn my life around with drugs and stuff, get off all that ****. and i sensed a drift the night b4 and she told me she couldnt see herself doing stuff with me anymore, she said possibly from my Ex (7 month relationship) but she wasnt sure why, we just drifted. But I have never had such a good time with a girlfriend b4, i would laugh and smile everyday, shes gone now...I want her back so bad, but I don't know what I must do. I called her and told her how much she meant to me but what can I do to win her back...So frusterating.

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Maybe you need to let your actions speak. You said you wanted to get cleaned up and stuff .. and she doesnt want that in her life anymore.. maybe you need to prove that you mean it. She may be afraid that you can say it all you want but if you dont change and she stays with you she may not be able to change either.

 

Give it some time. Focus on getting clean man. I dont know what you do or how often you do it but seriously if you want this to work you need to work on you.

 

My exbf wigged out 5 months ago and just let go of life. Broke up with me, I think bc I said he would have to break up with me if he ever planned on doing drugs, and then he just spiraled downward. He is still paying off debt because he just went stupid. John Lennon lost weekend kinda thing.

 

But he has since decided that he doesnt want that stuff. Its amazing what kind of wall you can build up being stuck behind all those drugs and crap. Sure it feels good but you cant be yourself, no matter how much you may say "I am finally free to be myself" its not true. Love , trust, and acceptance do that.. not drugs.

 

Clean up .. do something and only after you have done something should you try to contact her. She will be proud of you and see you in a new light. Take care of yourself man. Keep me posted.

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UPDATE:

 

I didn't mention this before but she smokes pot as well, and I talked to her today, we are friends and she said to help me she will stop smoking as well with me. So idk what this means, I will just have to play it a day at a time and get myself together.

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good for you. its easier to do something like that with a buddy. And who knows something like that can make you two closer...

 

Take care of yourself.. and her too.. it's great that you are taking control of your life like this. If anything you will feel better about yourself.

 

Good luck!

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Thanks, I am trying.

 

UPDATE: Wow ran into her at the mall today with no plans of running into her. I seemed to notice tention, like she end up close to me and then we would look at eachother and I moved away, I am trying to be strong and make it clear if she wants me back, I need to hear it.

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It isnt worth it, I will worry about getting her back maybe once I have my stuff together, but shes stressing me out to much and I need to get over her right now...

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strange love

I might be going out on a limb here Owen.. but perhaps there are other things that need to be dealt besides curbing your appetite for chronic.

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That you're acting like you've been dating for years when you've known her for a month, perhaps? It would make me uncomfortable as well.

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Listen,

 

Not to be mean. But it's been 1 month man. That is usually the point of dating. That you get to figure out whether you like the person your with, whther or not your compatable. I would say just move on man.

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I know where your coming from, I have had relationships much longer that suprisingly enough didn't mean as much, she just made me so happy like no other woman I met before thats why I was so frusterated with it...but yeah im trying to move on now.

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