I've been asked out...

[Nothisgirl]

By a guy I met through a mutual friend...we've chatted through social media before and he's very attractive I just don't know that going would be the right thing to do..like I feel like I would be cheating on my MM ...how screwed up is that?! Ugh.

 

Mm would likely be sad, mad..he claims my happiness it of upmost importance to him however I know that doesn't include him being ok with me dating other ppl...tried that at the beginning of our A and it caused a lot of arguments because he was jealous (unjustly so..he admitted that)

 

Anyways, should I go? Will getting back out their help me or hinder me at this point?

 

If you haven't read my other post I am almost to the point of ending our affair...I mean I know I need to I just haven't dont it yet.

[C00kie]

You should do what you feel like doing, regardless of what MM would think or feel, considering that he's not giving you the same thing he's asking for.

 

If you want to go out with this person, then go! Not because you want to get back at MM, but because you want to. And if you don't want to go because you don't feel like it, then don't - but NOT because of what MM would think. Stop to think and feel what's best for you and follow through

[d0nnivain]

Go. maybe this new guy will be just what you need to break away from MM once & for all.

[Artie Lang]

i just have to say you are wasting your time here.

 

some women would jump at the chance to date a single, available man like the one you've just described.

 

 

then again, it doesn't seem like you want to end it with MM. you'd be deceiving this guy into thinking he has a chance with you, when your heart lies somewhere else.

 

 

i think you're cheating yourself out of a chance at having a legitimate relationship.

Edited November 27, 2013 by Artie Lang

[threelaurels]

If you want to go, you should go. However, you should be honest with this guy about the fact that you're still involved with someone, have feelings for him, and are most likely only looking for something casual at this point. You don't have to tell him MM is married or really any details about the A other than that you are, in fact, single. I think going on a few dates with someone else will help you remember what romantic relationships are supposed to be like and open your eyes to how MM may not be treating you as well as you deserve to be treated.

[Nothisgirl]

The problem is that he treats it more like a real relationship then I do....I don't allow myself to go there but to him we are partners he's just unfortunately still married ..it's so messed up, I know...I say that in reference to how he treats me I really have no complaints in regards to how he treats me..he cherishes me... He's passionate and gentle and loving....he's just not mine so it's not enough and you're all right maybe I'm not ready to give it up or be with someone who can give me 100% but why? I know I deserve that...

 

Anyways I like the advice to do what I feel, regardless of him. I need to start doing that and maybe I will be able to start to detach

[bentleychic]

To me, dating is generally done for a reason. To find someone to be in a relationship with and possibly have a future with. I don't date for fun. So please keep that in mind when reading my reply.

 

If you sincerely believe that you are almost ready to end it, yes, go for it.

 

I was honestly contemplating this today. I KNOW it would upset MM (we've discussed it before) and I currently have no desire to do so, but if I did, I know that *I* would have to move on away from MM before I could do it. I don't think it would be fair to ANYONE involved otherwise. I would not want to lead someone on, knowing that I was in love with someone else.

[LilGirlandOW]

Go for it!

 

You want someone 100% of the time and not to share the attention with a BS, you know you deserve it, that's reason enough to go and meet people. Date. I personally wouldn't get intimate with said dates, but if you find a nice single guy with lots to offer you, then you break it off with MM and go be with new bf.

 

Until MM leaves his wife, you don't owe him anything in regRds to an explanation of who you date and meet, although once sex is involved I think you have to leave MM or tell him, for health interests alone.

 

You owe him nothing, if he can't give you his everything.

 

Go for it girl!! Also update us all:)

[Nothisgirl]

Thx Bentley and lilgirl.... I agree with everything you both said it is just putting it all into practice..I mean, I know that I don't owe him an explanation but he will ask what I'm doing because its typically a night we'd spend together (my kids aren't home) and so do I tell him the truth, knowing he will be pissed? My God this is all such a mind **** isn't it? I mean he still sleeps beside another woman EVERY NIGHT (apparently no sex since may.. Whatever) so why am I the one feeling guilty? Like I'd be cheating?

 

He's never promised to leave and I've never asked him to. He said the other day, (when I said that I think he needs space to work his **** out), that he doesn't..that he wants and needs to be with me we just need to figure out how to get there...and you know what? That ANGERED me...I don't need to figure out anything! I'm good! You're married does that make sense to you all?

 

I'm rambling and thanks for listening...I think I'll go. It's just a date...right?