AlwaysGrowing Posted December 14, 2013 Share Posted December 14, 2013 Don't take his money..he is putting a monetary value on you. Is that what you are worth? A whooping $200 bucks?????? Send it back. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 14, 2013 Share Posted December 14, 2013 I'd send it back or use that money for a donation somewhere, put his name and address on it so the receipt goes directly to him, thanking him for his 2 hundred cash donation ( woman's shelter or a burn unit). Keeping that money is almost like "hush" money. You don't think that he was just being 'nice' do you? Nope, there's a bribe in there..big time! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
sunburned Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 That's sick. After all your progress? Don't keep it. That would kind of make you a you-know-what. At a minimum, buy a $200 floral arrangement for his wife and send them from a secret admirer. "Accidentally" include the receipt so it's not so secret to him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
krazikat Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 Solo...quick question...do you think mm meant what he said about killing his wife? He does not seem mentally right. Do you think he would hurt her? If so, find a way to let her know. Iean seriously.at this point your could totally get away with sending an "anonomous" email or letter to her. So many people have seen you together that anyone could have sent it, right? Yes, she will be upset...but she will have the truth so she can decide what to do. And what if his crazy ass hurts her? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author solostand Posted December 15, 2013 Author Share Posted December 15, 2013 ok my read of the situation was the words of a man who desperately wanted out but could think of no way out. And yes, he meant what he said. Divorce would cause financial mess plus she would fight him every step of the way plus the kids would be very angry at daddy so in his mind a little poison possibly would help things on the way - his theory was that nobody checks in autopsy for unexepected things like poison of some type. She's 67 so his theory was well people die at 67 no biggie right? Not sure if he was expecting me to move in the next day or what? Anyway, now that he and I are done I don't think there will be any rat poison sprinkled on the Corn Flakes. Maybe if he finds another AP and falls "in love" again. I plan to tell her after Christmas. Gonna send along the tape I do have. Link to post Share on other sites
Author solostand Posted December 15, 2013 Author Share Posted December 15, 2013 Genius! Awesome idea. I dont think OP is quite there yet. I think she is still emotionally involved, and probably getting validation from the money. I think the $100 bills gave her validation in the past, and b/c it takes time to emotionally unattach and detangle oneself, that part of her enjoys getting the gift. Solo, I think you need to be honest with yourself, is there a part of you still holding on? I think if you were truly done, youvwould not accept the money. Well giving it back would mean interaction with him, which I do not want. I do agree with the donation and his name and address! Something he would never donate to! Link to post Share on other sites
Iguanna Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 I plan to tell her after Christmas. Gonna send along the tape I do have. I find this to be really pathetic. I suggest you get a life and stop wondering what he does and messing with his pathetic life. You are becoming like him now with this, and I kinda start seeing why he chose you. You are kinda the same, you two.. Sorry if I'm harsh but I see no reason to call her and send the tape. Live and let this woman live as well. After all you are younger, you have a life in front of you and you can find another man to have a family with. She is too old to change anything in her life. No need to "poison" her like this (what an irony, I can't figure out if this poison he was talking about is better or worse than what you want to do...). Link to post Share on other sites
Baby123 Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 I don't think telling the BS is a good thing- I think let her get on with it. Especially if she is choosing to ignore rumours and play happy families. You concentrate on you- you don't need the drama or potential fall out. Link to post Share on other sites
AlwaysGrowing Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 I find this to be really pathetic. I suggest you get a life and stop wondering what he does and messing with his pathetic life. You are becoming like him now with this, and I kinda start seeing why he chose you. You are kinda the same, you two.. Sorry if I'm harsh but I see no reason to call her and send the tape. Live and let this woman live as well. After all you are younger, you have a life in front of you and you can find another man to have a family with. She is too old to change anything in her life. No need to "poison" her like this (what an irony, I can't figure out if this poison he was talking about is better or worse than what you want to do...). You don't know if a man who has thought about how he would kill his wife is better or worse than the person who tells the wife what he was thinking about doing to her? I am gobsmacked. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 I don't think telling the BS is a good thing- I think let her get on with it. Especially if she is choosing to ignore rumours and play happy families. You concentrate on you- you don't need the drama or potential fall out. I would normally agree, but now this had gone to discussion of criminal intent to murder this woman. Solo, must tell her for her own safety. Given that Solo knows about the threat she would be considered an accomplice to murder if he did end up acting out. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Speakingofwhich Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 (edited) ten characters Edited December 15, 2013 by Speakingofwhich repetitious Link to post Share on other sites
HugeSigh Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 This thread is confusing. It seems like the OP is thriving on this drama and is trying to sick it to the MM. Why suddenly do you feel like it is your job to tell his wife after the holidays? If you are so concerned that she is being lied to or concerned that he made comments about murdering her, then why not just drop the bomb on her now? Link to post Share on other sites
Iguanna Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 You don't know if a man who has thought about how he would kill his wife is better or worse than the person who tells the wife what he was thinking about doing to her? I am gobsmacked. I was obviously sarcastic. Plus I would bet Solo does not want to tell his wife cause she is worried he would kill his wife (for God's sake, if you intend to kill someone you don't go around recording it...) but cause she wants to cause trouble and make them separate. This is the reason I gave this response. She spent the last week saying she is separated from him and she is ok with it (while obsessing with this matter) and suddenly (after he has taken the message and has backed off) she decides to tell his wife? Does she even consider that this woman may have a heart attack or something when she hears that? What I want to say: Solo, haven't you ruined this woman's life enough? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
experiencethedevine Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 Guy comes home from work and sits on the couch...Out of nowhere, his wife smashes him over the head with a cast iron frying pan...He yells.."What the hell did you do that for?" She says..."I was doing your laundry and I found a note in your back pocket with the name "Jenny" on it" He says..." Silly, that was the horse I was playing in the third race" Day goes by and he comes home and plops on the couch again...She walks over and smashes him over the head...this time even harder... He says "Jesus, now why the hell did you do THAT?" She says..."Well...your horse just called "... My advice..? Tell her, but get him a construction type hardhat and give it to him before hand..he might need it..! Sorry in advance if I offended anyone with the humor.... TFY Not offensive at all, bloody funny in fact, and I'm still wiping the tears and I nearly pee'd my pants!! Thanks for that, sometimes it is just the ticket, a little injected humour! Solo, tell her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author solostand Posted December 15, 2013 Author Share Posted December 15, 2013 i afraid tell but I do pLan after Christmas. I do have lots of evidence plus people who know them both who have seen us together other times. I am just concerned about the cruelty to her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Iguanna Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 i afraid tell but I do pLan after Christmas. I do have lots of evidence plus people who know them both who have seen us together other times. I am just concerned about the cruelty to her. Lalala. Can you please answer to my post? And can you specify about whether you want to tell her cause he has "threatened" to kill her or cause you just want to destroy her marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
Author solostand Posted December 15, 2013 Author Share Posted December 15, 2013 I do not want MM. The age difference along would proclude that.One maybe reasons for the ending. The wife: I feel like she sould at least what her husband was UP during the year long affair. He said hings out her that were unaccpteble - things to me tat were unacceptable. Sill I expect her to call me first. Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 The police need to know since he threatened to kill her. Staying silent isn't an option now. Let the authorities handle it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thinkingofhim Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 IMO, as an OW, it does not matter what her intentions are... BW needs to know. It may be hypocritical of me (I do not plan on telling my MM's BW at this point) but putting myself in her shoes I would want to know. I think any BW deserves to know her H had been threatening to kill her, AND those horrible other things! Unacceptable. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Iguanna Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Omg I'm SURE he didn't threaten to kill her rather than fantasizing that only with killing her his problems would be solved. I think some people are too sensitive. Who hasn't dreamed of killing their boss or someone who bullied them back at school? Have we all become murderers? No. Murderers don't go around and blare that they intend to kill someone. I still think that Solo wants to just ruin his marriage even more, I've asked twice and she doesn't answer. Maybe she doesn't like the ugly truth... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author solostand Posted December 16, 2013 Author Share Posted December 16, 2013 I don't want to ruin his marriage! As I pointed earlier I expect a call from his wife and my question was do I tell the truth. If she's calling me she will be calling me because of evidence gathering and the 1500 phone calls she is about to uncover on his phone bill. Her son apparently knows how to find the calls with numbers. He's pretty a sloppy affair partner - clues and hints all over the place and he even kept mementoes of me in the back seat of his truck (a card I gave him, a newspaper with my picture on the front page) Link to post Share on other sites
experiencethedevine Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 I don't want to ruin his marriage! As I pointed earlier I expect a call from his wife and my question was do I tell the truth. If she's calling me she will be calling me because of evidence gathering and the 1500 phone calls she is about to uncover on his phone bill. Her son apparently knows how to find the calls with numbers. He's pretty a sloppy affair partner - clues and hints all over the place and he even kept mementoes of me in the back seat of his truck (a card I gave him, a newspaper with my picture on the front page) It's a little bit late to be concerned about 'ruining' his marriage isn't it? I fear his marriage is likely ruined by himself anyway in reality. Your original question was, 'should you tell', to which you received a resounding 'yes' in the majority, but as you dance around it, it becomes increasingly clear that you have no real intention of letting his wife know what a filthy disgusting creature she is currently married to in order to give her the choice to stay or leave. Link to post Share on other sites
SunshineToday Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 If his wife calls you: please tell her the truth! Link to post Share on other sites
Author solostand Posted December 16, 2013 Author Share Posted December 16, 2013 That is my plan. But I am not to going to make any contact with her at Christmas, unless she calls. Link to post Share on other sites
Iguanna Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 I don't even know why I bother to reply to this thread anymore, but I don't like it when they treat me like an idiot. You started this thread asking "IF I get a call from his wife wife, should I tell her the truth?". The answer was yes. Then you spent a week being proud that you stayed away from him (good for you) and suddenly you say "I'm gonna tell her after Christmas". Then when I ask you, why are you gonna tell her? You come back to the original issue being "if she calls, I'll tell her". So will you call her yourself and tell her, will you wait for her call and you'll tell her if she calls or are you really worried cause he had said he fantasizes about killing her? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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