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Is this a big deal?


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Hey guys, Wondering what you guys think?

 

 

Was with this girl for about 5 years, we had a break within the second for about a week and decided to get back to together. We lived with each other before and we were actually thinking about getting a place with a each other again about 4 months ago. She has some real big financial issues and it seems that her career path might of been a mistake. However, I supported everyway I could try.

 

She didn't go out much for some reason. One night she wanted to go out and it was the one night I didn't want to go out because I had went out the previous day. I let her go out with her step sister. I guess she ended up at her step sisters friends house with a group of people that I knew. They were drinking and crap went down. I guess she made out with her step sisters fiances best friend. A guy I knew, this guy really has nothing going for him. He's living with his parents and is 28 years old. I guess her step sister walked in and they were seperated on the two sides of the room.

 

Her step sister was pissed. I got a FB message from the person that was there and let me know. Confronted her and she said they did make out but it was nothing. I was broken, I was about to move out with this girl again and ask her to marry me the next year since we had been dating for a while. So I assumed the next day she would be asking for forgiveness but she didn't she said our relationship was fading and she couldn't see us getting back together. I found out the real top reasons were cuz I told my family and she didn't think I could trust her. Couple days later, I asked her if she wanted to make it work and pleaded that it was mistake we can get over it. She just said I need to take care of myself right now.

 

I just let it be. I shut off all outlets and didn't talk to her. She text me on my bday but I didn't respond. Her family was mad at her, they saw us a true couple and wanted us to stay together. 4 months later I get a call from her step sisters fiance that she was going to try to contact me. He was deeply sorry that it was friend and that the guy was known for that crap. She did contact and we talked it out. She wants to give it one more try? She said that she was thinking about me everyday and couldn't stop. she thought she could move on and take care of herself but she said that she was even in a worst postion then she was in before. I heard she drinks way too much now which she never did when we were together. I told her that stuff needs to stop. We went out last night for the first time in 4 months for her bday spent like 250 at the casino on her and she wasn't the same person I was with for 5 years. At times she looked pissed and bored. she even text me later in the night that she was sorry that she wasn't 100% herself throughout the night. Do you think it's because our first night out? or is it a lost cause and should I just cut it loose? I'm over what she did. I could careless to be honest but I don't tolerate it. The way I feel is that I have nothing to lost since I lost her already but she has everything to lose. What do you think? sorry for the long post!

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She knew that she was in a serious, committed relationship and went ahead and did it anyway. Thank your lucky stars you haven't married her or have kids with her and then walk away. You don't need all this drama from a girl who cheated on you after 5 years.

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I would walk away. It sucks but honestly it sounds like you would be far better off without her than you would be with her.

 

Just look at the actions you said she made. Its not the words its the things she does.

 

Time to move on.

 

Clay

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No man. You walk away the bigger man. Once a cheater, always a cheater. She has no respect for you, and she's just looking for a quick fix, for now....

 

Tell her to get lost and go completely no contact. This relationship is now past its sell by date.

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As a Male. Going back to a chick has never worked out. As a male you have to define the relationship. That means in this situation walking away. I hate to say it but going back to a cheater never works out or if you do you have basically fortified you manhood and set the precedent for the next time.

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I personally think you guys should try again. She was having a rough time, and whilst I know thats no excuse, you guys had been together for 5 years. Thats a very long time, and although what she did was wrong, if she felt the relationship was fading maybe it took her misbehaving to give her the confidence to be honest with you.

 

And now look, you are both in a position to try again, and yes mistakes were made but you were happy for such a long time, isnt it worth one more go to get back what you used to have? I think so

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First time together since you confronted her and all she does is go through the motions, no plan on what she is going to do to make you feel safe again, no regret, no begging for a second chance, keep walking. Your in love with the idea of who she was, this girl is broken and needs professional help.

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