ef2000 Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 Ugh, here goes. All through high school i dated a girl who was great, we dated for about 3.5 years, and i was deeply in love with her. she was my everything. she made me soo happy, and i couldn't imagine life without her. I went on vacations with her family, and she basically lived at my house, spending the night frequently, taking showers over here, and just hanging out at the house even if i was not around. She got along great with the family, and everything in the relationship for the most part was great. We had our fights, but who doesn't. Towards the end of high school (we went to seperate schools). we were picking out colleges together. we decided on a college about 100 miles away from home that way we could stay there and come back home if we wanted to every once in a while. We went to orientation with both of our families down to this school, and her parents ended up not liking the school and told her that they weren't going to pay for her to go to school down there. I was torn, i didn't know what to do. She ended up enrolling in a community college back home and i basically waited too long to enroll in any schools back home (wish i could go back in time). so i figured that the college was only 100 miles away and we would see each other every weekend, which wouldn't be so bad. She came down every weekend for about two months, and we kept fighting, and i didn't know why. we just always fought. About two months into school, about a week before holloween she informs me that she has been seeing a guy back home for about a month. I didn't know what to do. i was absolutely stunned, and just confused, and so hurt. i was 100 miles away and without a car so there was no way i could talk to her about it in person. there was basically nothing i could do besides just try to make it. Mike For the next couple of months i came back home every once in a while and saw her, and it brings me to where im at now. She says she doesn't really want anything to do with me any more. Shes been dating this other guy now for about 4 months. and it kills me. I go out with my friends every once in a while and it doesn't really help, i just keep thinking about her. I want her back, i know that i shouldn't want her back; but i do. i really love her. i know i can't make her go back out with me, i want her to be happy, and if dating this other guy makes her happy, then i guess i just have to let her go, even though i dont want to. I just dont know what to do. i am up everynight thinking about her and i end up crying just about every night. right now im on prozac but i dont think its helping, i just keep thinking about her... i dont know what im looking for, i just wanted to talk to someone about it, i guess suggestions. i dont really know. Link to post Share on other sites
missopinionated Posted January 1, 2005 Share Posted January 1, 2005 Sounds like you need some counseling to go with that Prozac and your doc should have never prescribed the drug without a committment to counseling. Seondly, you're beyond love and well into the obsession stage. Breakups suck for sure, especially after a long relationship, but you're young and there are hundreds of other women at your school. Did you ever consider that she chose a school close to home because she wanted to end the relationship and that was the easiest way? Did she ever give you previous indications that she wanted to end the relationship? I suspect she did and I bet you ignored those. Get some help from counseling at your school. That's what it's there for and you need it. Otherwise, this is going to be really hard on BOTH of you. You can't change her mind or make her think/feel any way she doesn't want to. Get some help so you can move on. Link to post Share on other sites
ef2000 Posted January 2, 2005 Share Posted January 2, 2005 I tried counseling but i hate it. all i find that they do is tell you what to do instead of listening to you. they make up a decision for you. i dunno. i guess im all messed up in the head. i guess im obsessed, but ive been doin slightly better since the post. but i still am not over her. i haven't had any contact with her since monday, which is a start i guess. Mike Link to post Share on other sites
Three of Swords Posted January 2, 2005 Share Posted January 2, 2005 Did you try more than one counsellor? Because they really aren't all the same. Another one might be a better 'fit' for you. Are you more comfortable talking to a woman or a man. If you make another appointment, make sure you specify which gender you want. I was in a small town and saw three different counsellors for brief periods of time over many years. They each had different approaches. So if you can try another one. No contact since Monday. Congratulations. Baby steps still get you somewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
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