Lets make 2005 a good one, we can do it!!!!

[kodiak]

Hey Everybody-

 

 

Well it seems that they locked out our thread that was going so well. Im not sure why but anyways we will have to start a new one i think. I was thinking that we should start a thread to help all of us get through the New Year so that we dont spend all the days thinking and missing our exes. Sure there is going to be tough days but with all of us helping each other out we can get through it. So if we have a bad day or a good day or we just need advice about our situation, lest share it. I know that I want to make 2005 a great year. I spent so much time in the last six months being miserable, im just tired of it.

So to all of us, Weird, MJ, Drjones, Head/Heels, Sukkoto, Bigsteve, Urban, etc.... and evberyone i missed lets get started and make this New Year a great one. We never know what the New Year will bring....Take Care...................Kodiak

[Three of Swords]

I got a Christmas card from a friend who has heard my separation woes. She wrote in there

 

"I just know that 2005 will be your year"

 

I told her I am holding her to it.

 

I have volunteered to work an extra shift New Year's Day, but am still working on what to do on the big Eve.

 

Fairly new to E-town, only coupled friends, what to do, what to do.

 

Rented movie, popcorn and a beer maybe?

[Nick14]

Well as MJ and Wierd know about my situation, it just got worse. ok so I am at the gym and my ex is there, I just go bike and kept on texting my current girl i am seeing at the moment. My ex sees me and is sort of shocked i am at the gym and just goes the other way to the other bikes and excersies. I think to myself, well fine dont' say hi *side note, my ex dumped me 4 months ago and has not been in contact w/me, I send occasional emails to say hi and how your doing and most recently sent her a graduation e-card and a happy holidays e-card, thats cause i am a good nice caring guy still*. So, she leaves 15 mins later w/out looking at me but i can tell she looked sort of mad probably because I showed up. So, I go home and text her and ask "wish youwould of said hi, would of been nice to talk again", so of course no reply. A hour later, I see her away message on AIM and it says "****ing, psycho stalking ex's, Lesson of the day: Kick em in the balls when you have a chance". I read that and litterly blew a gasket in my head. My first thought is, "what a biatch and wow I feel stupid for even being a good guy with sending happy e-cards". I swear guys I regret the last 2.5 years, so what did I do, I IM her and said "I hope your proud of that away message and I hope it kicks you in the balls in the future when your grow up. I said everything in the book from, you should get ****ed, **** off, I hope you have a terrible life etc...theni said GOODBYE in caps. Of course she read this and instantly blocked me, but she made a grave mistake with calling me a stalker. Wow, now how can I be a stalker when I am not truly stalking. Just because I send her e-cards from time to time, thats stalking? Just because I go to the gym at the same time(because i can't go at peak times) that makes me a stalker? I mean wow just because i am being a good caring guy, unlike other a-holes that makes me a stalker too? Bottom line, i am sick of being the good guy and getting trashed on and its time to go on Jerk mode with only her. She tries to weasel back in my life, shes going to do alot of ass kissing for sure. Funny how I go to the gym last night at the same time and she is there, I go upstairs and she leaves after 15 mins of her working out. Man, proves my point that 1.She's not adult and can't dish it 2. she's not grown up and 3. she's a brat. Again, she made a grave mistake with that away message and she loss a great guy in the process. What a idiot!!

[iceisles]

Not to rain on this parade, but I'm not looking forward to 2005. It's just more of the same - work, saving money for nothing in particular, and trying to meet that someone special, which never gets any easier. My friends keep telling me, "hang in there, you'll find someone!". I've been hearing that for ten years. Sure, I've had girlfriends during that time, but I've yet to meet "the one". I'm beginning to wonder if some people are just destined to be alone their entire life, no matter how hard they try. The worst part is that I used to be so confident about this stuff, and now I don't have much hope. It's just so tough to meet people, and even tougher to hold those relationships together.

 

I will be glad when New Year's Eve has come and gone. That will at least give me six weeks of empty landscape before tackling Valentine's Day. Reading the threads on here helps for a few minutes, but I wish I could find a more permanent answer to this lingering depression.

[djones]

HEy Guys,

 

Hey Kodiak good call on this post, I was feeling lost over the few days and I need to hear from you all...I hope that 2005 is a good year for us....for me things are going ok with the new girl, but last night we had a talk about her worrying about if she will find time to meet with me when school starts up again and just little things about that...at the end of the day we did feel better, i told her not to worry about it we will just take it day by day ans evertying will work out....she said that needs to see that for her self I told her thats ok i understand just trust me and just wait in time and see if I hold true to what I said. She felt better that night and sent me an e-mail saying what great guy i am and that everytime she sees me her gut keeps saying stick with it. I was going home that night i know everything got resolved, but it just scared me b/c it gave me a flash back with my ex....I dont know how to deal with it, you know i guess nothing is for certain but I like this woman and I dont want to lose her...and all i can do is just keep going and hope that everything works out...I guess what it is that transistion phase we are going through with each other and it just scared us a bit this stuff is new to us and it will take some time, I know she cares a lot for me so, and she not my ex so i cant think that everyone i meet will be like my ex....I will talk you you all later

[Weird]

Well lets seehwo long this thread stays open. Sucks the last on got closed so soon especially since ANYONE was free to come and post in it and we would give our advice. Also, it was on topic but what can you do...I wonder if I donate some cash if they will keep a thread open for us.

 

I look forward to 2005 simply because I have a lot of new stuff to play with/occupy my time. However, I find life very boring so I know 2005 will just end up being the same thing with me going to work mon-fri, 9-5. The joys of being a worker bee in this world...

[Urban Rubble01]

Yeah, about the thread being closed, I started a thread trying to have a dialogue about it, they moved it to a different forum (that I can't remember the name of). They also said one of the reason they didn't like these threads was that they form "cliques" that people can't get into (funny, because I started talking to you guys in the middle of thread hundreds of pages long and nobody told me to get off their turf". So please, anyone who feels like posting in this thread, please, go ahead, we'll accept you with open arms, and maybe even legs.

 

Anyway, Nick man, that's ****ing HARSH dude. Normally I'd say, "Aww, you should have kept your cool, no need to blow up on her". But dude, what a little kunt. It must hurt to see the girl you held in such high esteem acting so different, and I know it's cliche, but you don't need her. It's better you found that side of her out now. Sorry man, I feel for you. At least you know you did all you could, you were the better person, and she still didn't respond. Now you can truly move on with no illusions about where you guys are at (and in that sense I envy you).

 

As for me, well..... After that night we talked and she had a guy over, she called the next day. She said sorry for that, that it was just a friend from work dropping off some herb. I asked if she was dating, she said no, but that she was hanging out with friends and going out. Whatever, I can handle that, I could even handle her dating guys, if she would tell me that is. But anyway, she says she isn't and even if it could be called dating, it isn't serious and I refuse to let that stress me out. So I gave her my old line about being honest if she wants to avoid hurting me, even if it's something I'm not going to like. She said she would, but there isn't anything to tell, she still loves me.

 

So last night I had to go up to the city because her best friend had invited me to her birthday party. So before I go, Rochelle called ME (a nice development) and told me that I should stop by, she had gotten me a DVD for Christmas and I had to give her a couple books I got her. So me and a few friends head up. I go to her place and give her her stuff (along with a 4 page letter, I know, not the best idea, but I had to tell her some things). I also apologized for this weekend, for calling her up and being all sad, making her comfort me. She said that it was O.K, she understands, so that made me feel a little better.

 

So we go over to her friend's house. While everyone drank, Rochelle and I sat and did a puzzle, we aren't the biggest drinkers. But it was nice, she acts just like normal, just like we were still together almost. So then we go out to the clubs. Again, Rochelle and I pretty much sat in the back while our friends drank and danced. I told her she didn't have to sit by me all night if she didn't want to, she could go hang out with her friends or go dance with "douche bags" (as I put it). She said she didn't want to, in fact, the only time she wasn't next to me was when she went and checked on her friend. So a little after midnight we sneak out to go smoke, but she asked me to take her home because, like me, she hates clubs and was sick of it. So I did, she invited me in and we smoked. We made plans to hang out Valentines Day because our favorite band happens to be playing (I don't know if I believe in God, but that kind of thing makes me want to). When I asked her if she was going to spend the day with me she said yeah, I told her that her other boyfriends would have to wait, she smacked me and said shut up. So, we told each other I love you, I kissed her (about 10 times) before I walked out the door and said I probably wouldn't see her until Valentines Day, which also happens to be our 5 month anti anniversery. If I can make it a month and a half without seeing her, that'll be the longest I've gone without seeing her (beautiful) face in 10 YEARS. Insanity.

 

So, even though I'm fairly sure she's hanging out with guys (altough I don't think it's anything big), I'm feeling alright. I don't know, everytime I'm away from her I start to get discouraged, start to feel like it might not work out and then everyime we hang out I start to feel like that's just not a possibility. When it comes right down to it, I have to ask myself this question: Do you believe in ANY WAY that this girl is capable of leading you on to the point where she bakes you cookies and tells you she loves you as much as she always had, while simulaneously looking for other guys and having no intention of it working out ? I don't believe that she could do that. I could see her having sex with me while not really wanting it to work, that's something that we both want regardless of feelings, but I don't think she'd be so cold as to bake me frigging cookies with my name on them ! I think she's confused and doesn't know exactly what she wants, but I don't believe she's lying when she tells me she sees it working out. At this point, I think she does love me and all I can do is be confident that our relationship was strong enough that those feelings don't fade.

 

Any words, advice, criticisms, general comments or warnings are appreciated.

 

P.S, I'm still trying to keep the mindset that she's most likely gone. I really am, but that is SO ****ing hard when she acts so sweet and so normal.

[Weird]

Yeah, about the thread being closed, I started a thread trying to have a dialogue about it, they moved it to a different forum (that I can't remember the name of). They also said one of the reason they didn't like these threads was that they form "cliques" that people can't get into (funny, because I started talking to you guys in the middle of thread hundreds of pages long and nobody told me to get off their turf". So please, anyone who feels like posting in this thread, please, go ahead, we'll accept you with open arms, and maybe even legs.

 

haha yeah I don't get that. Every person who replies in one of our threads gets treated with respect and is welcomed to keep posting. I LIKE it that mroe people come to our threads, see we are here for each other and ask for our advice and we give it and they fele comfrotable talking with us.

 

In the last thread people came in 4 pages in with posts regarding my intiial thread starting psot and sure enough, we replied to what they said with on topic comments. Gah, it frustrates me only because I know how much the super threads have helped many on the site and taking them away will only lead to some of us not posting on the site. I can't speak for anyone else but I frequent many other threads on the site and post in them so it isnt like I just stay in our super threads. Bah...

 

 

Urb (I should just start calling you herb. hehe)

 

 

The only advice I can give you is make sure she doesn't end up having sex with any other guys while you two keep doing the fug buddy stuff so I guess the advice is that make sure she is totally open and honest with this stuff. Don't want to get an std from that...

 

If I were you I would not keep doing the sex stuff with her just because I dont think it is a good idea. I just think it can lead to you being attached to something that may in fact be over and it would delay your healing process.

 

I hope you two end up together but I do know many have been in the situation you are in now (hearing the "i love you" line and thinking it is only some time apart) and things totally come crashing down and go mega gay.

[Nick14]

Ya, Urb, its really fookin sucks. I had to give her a jerk message back, I couldn't deal with it anymore, calling me a stalker for...for what? just sending you nice e-cards with no lovey dovey crap in it? Showing up at the gym? She made a grave mistake with calling me a stalker, now I dunno if she will regret that later in life, but i am starting to regret the whole relationship I had with her. Then again, I think of all the good times I had with her and its disappointing and it hurts, I wish I could go back to 2002 and do it all over again, I miss those times with her. I wish she could understand that somehow,obviously not right now and maybe not in a few months or a year or ever, sighs.... I keep listening to the song by Cyndi Lauper titled "time after time", man thats so like our situation ugh.. *sad and alittle depressed on a rainy day* Hopefully she turns things around.

[head/heels]

hey all......

 

kodiak---2k5 will be a better year for us all bc 2k4 was a very bad year for alot of us....but we have to make it a good year...no one told us when we popped out our momma's vaginal canal that everything was going to be hunky dory....or as maroon 5 says, rainbows and butterflies,...so never look back....i have met a new girl, who while we may not end up getting together since we both are recovering from lost loves...she has given me hope that there are cool girls out there that know what they want..........................so make yourself a better person and get your shine on in 05

 

Nick----I will vouch for Nick everybody, he is not a stalker and for whatever reason his ex is a little off of her rocker....i guess she just wants for you to stop contacting her altogether man....and do that...just let her go...and give new people a chance into your life...look out for someone other than Nick for a while and start to see that you have it pretty good in comparison to most, and many young ladies are looking for a standup guy...just have to be well enough in the mind to take one out and wow her....try to move on and make yourself better in all aspects

if it all works out like i want, she will see that you have turned out to be a success with a beautiful wife and kids, and she will know that she lost someone who, while not perfect and did make mistakes, was a person that could change and make a great life for himself and his love...it is up to you

 

icey sicles---dont get down on you man, you have to be confident and positive and then others will feed off of that and will want to be near you.....so try to stay up even if you dont want to

just doing that you will see your friendship increase tenfold!

 

URB---- i have to agree that i dont think you two should **** like rabbits....i think that she knows you love her and you would date her again....i think that you need to slowly (and maybe even a little too subtly so that it is almost obvious, but then again not like "i think we should stop hanging out") and see how she reacts..otherwise, why would she ever just come back when you two are always together.....and she has the sex and the great guy telling her she is awesome....it will give her all the confidence it the world..just my htoughs

 

drj---try not to let her get worried about you 2...just play it by ear like you are and dont do a great diservice to the new girl by calling your ex or responding to her sad sob storied emails

just dont even reply to her...you have a new GF and she will stand by you

 

3 of swords--awesome you volounteered...i am trying to find out info about how maybe i could go work over there in thailand (for free if they just get me there) and help out.....all i can find are websites where you have to donate$ and that is something i dont have a lot of...help others out and see how much better you feel and how much better they loook at you

[Urban Rubble01]

The only advice I can give you is make sure she doesn't end up having sex with any other guys while you two keep doing the fug buddy stuff so I guess the advice is that make sure she is totally open and honest with this stuff. Don't want to get an std from that...

 

If I were you I would not keep doing the sex stuff with her just because I dont think it is a good idea. I just think it can lead to you being attached to something that may in fact be over and it would delay your healing process.

 

I hope you two end up together but I do know many have been in the situation you are in now (hearing the "i love you" line and thinking it is only some time apart) and things totally come crashing down and go mega gay.

 

Yeah, I'll keep that in mind. All I can do is hope she wouldn't be that lame. Because we've never used a condom in our whole time together (well, maybe a few times, but only to try some weird kind or if she ran out of her birth control), I know her well and we trust each other enough to nut use them. So I hope she wouldn't do that. I guess if we end up doing it again I'll just ask to make sure

 

Now, as far as getting too attached as a result of sex, let me explain. Like I said before, having her tell me she loves me, or do things like make me cookies, those are the things that keep me hooked and make me think it'll probably work. I'm a very rational person, I understand that it's not uncommon for an ex to continue to give sex while distancing herself emotionally. So with that said, the sex isn't what's going to make me attached, I know it's possible to do that without love. The things that keep me attached is when she goes out of her way. She WANTS the sex, but she had to go out of her way to make me cookies (or reassure me that she loves me). As long as she's doing things like that, I'm going to be somewhat attached. It isn't the sex that's doing it, so if I'm going to feel like this with or without it, I may as well get the sex. Yes ? No ?

 

And I know what you mean about it crashing back down. I try not to let myself be relieved or rely on the thought that it will work, but at the same time, it's hard not to. I really am trying to keep my guard up, I'm realizing I may end up having to find someone else when this is all done, but no matter how hard I try I don't truly believe that, I can't MAKE myself ignore what my heart and my head are telling me.

 

Nick14

 

I know it's hard. You sit there and replay every good time you two have ever had and it just HURTS so much to think that could be over. But as rough as this sounds, I think you've got to accept that she's gone. She is treating you worse than bad, she is being a unfeeling B ITCH right now. Let it go man, just let it all go. You WILL get over this girl. You know where she stands, now you can begin to heal. It doesn't sound like she's coming back man, be strong and try to see that she dosen't deserve you (again, I know it's cliche, but it's the truth, you're better than her).

 

head/heels

 

URB---- i have to agree that i dont think you two should **** like rabbits....i think that she knows you love her and you would date her again....i think that you need to slowly (and maybe even a little too subtly so that it is almost obvious, but then again not like "i think we should stop hanging out") and see how she reacts..otherwise, why would she ever just come back when you two are always together.....and she has the sex and the great guy telling her she is awesome....it will give her all the confidence it the world..just my htoughs

 

Well, I do need to be a little more scarce, you're right. But I'm not willing, or even capable, of breaking off contact completely. I'm going to wait until Valentines day to see her, and I'm going to try and not call for at least 3 weeks. I need to be less available, but if I feel that she really does love me and wants to see me, I'm still going to be in her life. I just don't think I'm capable of dropping out completly.

 

But we really aren't "always" together, though it may sound like that. We've only been hanging out once or twice a month, she still has plenty of free time to do what she needs. I just feel like, if I start actively trying to make it seem as though I might walk away, that crosses into playing games, and I don't want to do that. I'm trying to be totally honest, I've told her that as long as she is honest with me that I'm fine. Until she tells me it's over I don't know if I'm capable of walking away, does that make sense ?

[SpaceCoyote]

Nick - She did you a favor. If she comes off as completely unlikable, then it makes it easier for you not to miss her. And you don't have to regret the entire relationship. That will just make you bitter. Instead, cherish the memories and remember it as a nice time in your past, but at the same time acknowledge that it is just that: in the past. She is a different person now than when you were enjoying those times together, and she can't go back to being that person again.

 

Iceisles - I hear you. I have a lot going for me and to look forward to in 2005...yet none of it makes me excited or happy at all. I am not capable of feeling happiness right now. And I totally know what you mean about having a few minutes of mental peace a day (like when visiting this site) before it all falls back to chaos in your head. I wish I had an answer for you. You have to just keeping plunging forward, making sure you live your life and putting as much time behind you since your loss. I am trying to carry on with my life - exercising, taking care of myself, focusing hard at work...literally forcing myself to do it all because I don't truly have any real motivation to do it. But I know I will regret if I let my depression ruin me (more than it already has). And even though I don't believe it yet, I constantly tell myself there will come a day when I will be OK with everything, even if I always have a little emptiness in my heart.

[audrey]

Hey,

[audrey]

Hey,

[audrey]

Hey,

[audrey]

Well,

 

You might have noticed from those numerous replies that I am not used to posting anything on the site, more to reading what you guys have to say but now that I have your attention I wanted to say that I really tried to take on board lots that I had read over christmas to stop me feeling the effects of losing my man but it didn't work properly and although it was an okay weekend, I felt like a huge part of me was missing that I'm sure you can all relate to.

 

So new years eve approaches and lots of my friends will be there but it's my first new years eve without him for three and a half years and I'll be the only person not in a couple and I miss him so much. I want 2005 to be MY year, doing it for myself but in truth I am frightened and haven't been able to tell that to anyone so I appreciate you all being there, even if I have joined an obviously already friendly group of people. Thanks for sharing your spookily similar experiences and I wish you all the best for next year.

 

P.S Please let me know if you find a way of keeping that smile looking genuine in the midst of friends

 

love

Audrey

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[djones]

Hey Audrey,

 

Welcome to the LS group we are just like you trying to find some help after a breakup and how to deal with life after that happens and just to share the little everyday things that happen to us. Somedays are good some are bad, life is not perfect and here is a nice place were you can vent when often you cant talk to your own friends b/c they have heard you talk about the same problem over and over again...here you can talk and everyone will listen...well you take care and keep posting

[Weird]

Happy 2005 everyone...I personally think the whole new years stuff is just an excuse for people to get piss drunk since nothing really changes except for the digit in the year and new year's is not a big deal to me at all since my new year starts Nov 17th when I was born....but whatever, happy new years to all.

 

 

 

----------------------

 

 

Hey Audrey,

 

Welcome to the board and I am sure things in 2005 will be great for you if you want them to be.

 

What are the details of your situation...if you dont mind sharing them.

 

Oh and know you can always come to this thread (or whatever the next one will be if this one gets locked) and we will always do our best to offer advice and comfort. My fellow members here are really good people.

[Three of Swords]

You have to just keeping plunging forward, making sure you live your life and putting as much time behind you since your loss. I am trying to carry on with my life - exercising, taking care of myself, focusing hard at work...literally forcing myself to do it all because I don't truly have any real motivation to do it. But I know I will regret if I let my depression ruin me (more than it already has). And even though I don't believe it yet, I constantly tell myself there will come a day when I will be OK with everything, even if I always have a little emptiness in my heart.

 

Good advice Space. (BTW - Linkin Park rocks)

 

That is exactly what I am trying to do. Move forward. Though sometimes I feel my feet are made of lead.

 

I had a 'pity' invitation to a New Year's Party. And decided what the heck everyone needs a little pity. I went even though I only knew one person there - the person that dragged me along out of pity. When she heard of my solo plans of movie, popcorn and beer she thought no one should be alone on NYE. Yeah for friends who love you. So I went and actually had a very good time. Laughed a lot - great bunch of people, ate and drank a bit too much. Only thought about my love interest two, maybe three times (OK - maybe four)

 

Came home and IM'd my love interest. OK so I broke one of my two resolutions within what an hour and a half after midnight! The IM was totally something very neutral and he wasn't home anyway.

 

Guess that was like going two or three steps back. The lead feet seem to move easier backward - maybe the path towards being ok is very steep and gravity works to drag you down.

 

The alcohol consumption helped me fall asleep fairly quickly after that - but what do I dream all night about but the man I am trying to forget. Get up this morning and start getting ready for work - I am the one that volunteered to work today. And while coffee is brewing have a HUGE cry.

 

How does that bode for 2005?

 

---------------

 

Hope dangles on a string, like slow spinning redemption

 

"Vindicated" by Dashboard Confessionals

[bigacesteve]

Hello all,

 

Weird,

your birthday is the same as my dads.

 

I started my own thread but here is what has happened.

 

Went out for New Year with all my friends and it was brilliant. I sent a text message to my ex saying that I understood why we couldn't be together, I've enjoyed my time this year with her a lot and that I wish her all the best for the new year. I got a phone call at around 1am from her. She said that she missed me a great deal and she wanted to see me, so I told her to come around (fool). We had a really good night, she met all my mates again and they treated her very well, considering what had happened between us. We slept together but no funny business because she was ON. This morning we were all over each other and I could tell that something wasn't quite right when we left. I took her to her dads because that's where she was supposed to have stayed last night; she said we'd go out in the week and sort things out between us, I never mentioned getting back together.

Got home, watched some football on telly, next thing I get a text saying

 

"Hi Steve, I'm sorry about last nite. I was drunk and sick of being single then I got your text and that's why I came around. I'm sorry Steve but I don't want to get involved again. If you'd left me alone it wouldn't have happened. I'm sorry to do this to u again. U deserve more than I can give u"

 

Tried ringing her, doesn't answer.

 

What is it with ex's re-appearing just as you start to move on, they get you all excited and then kick your legs from under you. I sent her a text saying that I was expecting this and that I can't remember saying anything about getting back together anyway, just thought we were having some fun.

 

Nevermind eh, at least I spent New Year with her.

 

I'll read all your posts later and reply

[Urban Rubble01]

Hey Steve.

 

So how are you doing ? Feeling **** ty or are you alright ?

 

From what I can see, it sounds like you did good. I mean, you didn't say anything about getting back together, you didn't push her to come hang out with you, that's good. I think seeing an ex, even if you know it's over like in your case, can be fine as long as you're in the right mindset to handle it. You weren't holding any expectations about this night magically making things better, so you aren't leaving yourself open.

 

Hope you're feeling alright, I know as well as anyone how seeing her can make you miss her SO much. I saw my ex last night as well.

 

Some friends and I decided to get a room in the city last night. Since the breakup, almost everytime I'm in the city I call her. But I told myself that I wasn't going to last night, I was going to let her do her New Year's thing and not worry about it. Well, the friends decided they wanted some herb, and since she's the easiest way to make that happen they wanted me to call her. I didn't, but I made my friend call. She said she'd help us out, he also said that when he told her we had a room at the nicest hotel in the city he heard something in her voice, jealousy or worry he wasn't sure, but I thought that was nice ! So she ended up calling my phone back and offered to come downtown and bring it to us. She did and we hung out in the room for awhile. You know, as much as my friends want me to move on and come hit on girls with them all night, as soon as she gets there they're telling her she should come with us. But she had plans with a mutual friend of ours. So when she left I walked her to her car. One slight bit of progress, when she got in her car I told her to have a good night and I was going to leave it at that, so as I started to pull back she kind of leaned towards me and made me kiss her. Haha, not a big deal, but I thought it was cool. But yeah, she was very sweet, just like always.

 

So she took off. I called her at midnight and told her I loved her though, oh well. The rest of the night I didn't do much, walked around the city while my friends went to the clubs. I met some girls, but I didn't really feel like pursuing anything. It was an alright night, it would have been better if she had hung out but I'm kind of glad she didn't.

 

Hope everyone had a good night. I'm like Weird, I don't really care about this type of thing, but it's a fun night to party so I hope everyone had a good one.

[head/heels]

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

 

anyhow, right to it

 

BAS-----man what a piece of work she is !!!! i know that you know this but you should never contact her again....ever. ever. ever....i am in my 2nd month of NC after a bried 3 day period of contact after a 50-day NC session and all i got was "i am never going to get over you, and i will love you forever and i think of you when he is holding me.....bah blah blah...but one my last call to her (forever really) she told me that i was causing her trouble and not to call...so i told her not to ever call me and i would not be calling her....and i wont...and i know she will call me when it all falls down (by the way that is a great song by kanye west (all falls down) as is his whole College Dropout album---copp that players ) but i will not be there to lean on...i will find someone who hopefully looks like the girl on outkast's i like the way you move video....the one with the muscular legs...sorry i have been watching BET's (black entertainment channel for those canucks and limeys out there) 100 best vids of 04....anyhow off on another tangent.....talking to my bosses sister (new pic for ya btw rob) and she is great but we both know that we cant start something right now bc of the timing (she recently got dumped by her ex---who btw is calling her and wanting back...its always the guys who break and call the girls back.....so weird! girls are so much more in cmmmand of their impulses...guess its bc we have a dumbstick we have to fight with ...and usually the 2nd head on the 3rd leg usually gets the better of the match....well guy, you seemed to be expecting it and you should have just done her (on or off) and maybe you could have pushed her out of the bed and told her thank you.....now get out!!

 

Weird----nice way to look at the new years,,, never thought of that !!! i was out with my mates last night and we were at a bar and the dj was playing oldies (i went out early in the night with some older friends from my appts....they are in their early 50s but are the most raunchy and funny group of singles that i have ever met.....so anyway) when on the music comes on its eric clapton's "wonderful tonight" /////////our song///////////// and i just made a v line for the door.........but i didnt let it get me and i made it out just fine///and so then i ended up with my young mates at around 1130 and then we went to one of ems aunts who alwayss have a big breakfast at about 130 and we ate and had so many laughs...so it was great

 

Audrey-----we are all in the same sit, well most of us and each have a very slight variation of the same thing...we have been thrown to the wolves by our exes and we are dealing with the aftermath and picking up the pieces and moving on...some have dated since some havent...some are still involved with the ex, some arent, some want to be, and some dont...and some dont know what they want...but we all SHARE A COMMON TOPIC WITHIN THIS THREAD....and that is we are trying to move on and become a better person in 2005 and leave the ones who didnt find us as special as i know all of the people in here are...so you are a great addition to our group

 

3of sword-----just keep taking it day by day and dont contact em , i promise the sooner you learn this the quicker he will A) wonder why the hell you havent called and will call or B) you will move on quicker....but without knowing your sit I wont be able to tell you...but if you put it down in writing i am sure we will come to a consensus if it is over for now or not....but knowing he is a guy, i say he will be back...guys always are (it is a pride and ego thing and also he doesnt want you with any other man...you are supposed to be his forever ,,just sit back and watch...MJ can attest to this for me)

[Three of Swords]

Originally posted by head/heels

 

3of sword-----just keep taking it day by day and dont contact em , i promise the sooner you learn this the quicker he will A) wonder why the hell you havent called and will call or B) you will move on quicker....but without knowing your sit I wont be able to tell you...but if you put it down in writing i am sure we will come to a consensus if it is over for now or not....but knowing he is a guy, i say he will be back...guys always are (it is a pride and ego thing and also he doesnt want you with any other man...you are supposed to be his forever ,,just sit back and watch...MJ can attest to this for me)

 

I never 'had' him in the first place. Maybe if I did I would at least have some good memories to hang on to. But alas it was all one sided - unrequited love. When I finally worked up my courage (after about 7 months of wanting him) and let him know how I felt, he said sorry - he never felt the same way. Abysmal.

 

Lethargy and just plain sadness kept me from going into work today - but I have two more days to do what I said I would do. Guess maybe I work best under pressure.

 

One of my goals for 2005 is to improve my personal situation. I am presently working two jobs and would like to get one better paying job. So what I did today was work on my resume instead. So I guess the day wasn't entirely wasted?

 

Never contacted the man at all today, but did check (frequently) to see if he was on MSN. He was - but I left him alone. Yeah - for me!!??

[audrey]

Hey,

 

that sounds a bit of a mean thing to do, kissing you like that. She must know it's exactly what you want and the last thing you need. Maybe she didn't mean any harm with it but it's still playing with you a bit. i hope you're ok.

 

My new years eve was spent with all of my great friends. Most of them are couples so a bit wierd but they tried so hard to make sure I was ok, bless them. I didn't dare call my ex at midnight as I thought he might tell one of our friends who was with me and then they'd all know so i called his parents and left them a message. How Sad!!!

 

later in the night I got a wee bit too drunk and ended up kissing my friend. He's lovely but I had to stop it because it just felt wrong. I was just wishing he someone else and that's not fair. then I spent a fair amount of time crying. It's wierd but I felt like I had been unfaithful. i guess because a little part of you believes so much that eventually they are gonna come back that I was trying to wait for him. i know that's stupid but I don't want to stop waiting in case he calls.

 

Me thinks I need to get a life...

 

Audrey

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[head/heels]

we all are battling our emotions and our hearts in here....you jsut cant get too caught up on any one day or any one thought or it will overcome you and put you back at square one...

 

i heard our song on new years eve and it was the first time since the break up....and i sprinted out of the bar and waited the typical 3 minutes that the old 70s songs lasted and went back to the bar and funnily, Garth Brooks "unanswered prayers" was playing!

i dont remember if i already wrote about that but if not...there you go

 

so you just have to look on to better days and realize that you dont want to be with someone that doesnt think you are the most precious and special thing in the world

 

i want someone that would not let me go for fear that they would lose the greatest thing on the face of the earth

 

that is how i felt about "her" and that has ceased since i started talking to a new person who blows my ex away in about every department

and now i am finding i am smitten with her and her personality ....so i know that life goes on and my ex is not a happy person and now i see that she often brought me down (although it is my fault for letting her) but i was always trying to keep her happy or cater to her and with this new girl i dont have to do that, she is always up and fun and very talkative (l never have to feel like i am pulling teeth like i did with my ex) so yeah, mama said thered be days like this, and nobody said it was going to be rainbows and butterflies...so grin and bear it

and put other first before you and you will see things start to come around!

 

i promise

talk to god if that option is available to you

 

 

and def dont let the ex know that you are not okay

dont talk to mutual friends about how you are doing...unless you are truly okay, bc people can tell and it will get back to em

you want them to think you are indifferent now and you are moving on., even if you cry yourself to sleep everynight

i know that is harder than it sounds, but try your best

hope that helps someone

praying for the ls crew

derek