Lets make 2005 a good one, we can do it!!!!

[LexiB]

Hey All

 

I really thank God 2004 is over. Last year sucked. I dont think there's any other way to describe it. It was

to-tall-y sh*tty (oops, guess I was wrong ).

 

Making 2005 better by comparisson cant be too difficult...right?

 

So good to see so many of you concentrating more on just doing what's right for you , instead trying to anticipate what the exes might do. AKA, the "what if I...", way of living.

 

As for me, I'm finally 100% out of the "What If " stage. I just ended the pathetic "friendship" I was trying to have with him. It wasnt going anywhere (the friendship) and I felt stupid throughout most of it. Talk every other week for 20 mins about nothing, havnt hung out since october cause apparently he's oober busy...the crap list goes on. But whatever.

 

My New year's Resolution: This is gonna be a no-bull-sh*t year.

 

I realize accomplishing this means getting rid of the weak link in my life~~whatshisface. And Hallelujah! I'm fine with that. Not gonna lie, I still care about him alot but nonchalant about having any kind of relationship with him again.

 

Funny thing is, he doesnt know it yet. He's gonna make his biweekly check-up call to me sometime next week. When he does, Ill sweetly tell him it's no longer neccessary.

 

Most of you I know, have done the NC thing w/o the final farewell, but I have to. This whole thing has been a huge, underserved ego trip for him. He's always been in control since the break up and that's my fault. I loved him and took all the nonsense he dished at me in the hopes that if I just gave him what he wanted--space when he needed it, company when he didnt--that "we" might work out again. But now that's done and he needs to know that I'm the one letting go this time. He used to talk to me at his leisure. Now he has no choice, he cant talk to me at all. Cutting the last string before he lets it break. I know I'm gonna have spurts when I miss him, but you know what? I'm happier than I have been in a long time. (esp. since I'm planning a trip to Paris this summer w/ some of my gurls )

 

I know I'm a lazy poster but it really is great to be able to come here and rant a little (or a lot in this case).

 

Take care guys. TTYL

[mj108]

Hey girl---I've been missing you!

 

We are going through the same stage girl. I've cut all ties with my ex too...I've realized that is over & him and I can't be friends. I have a lot of ex-boyfriends that are friends with me right now but I can't be friends with my soulmate ex. NO WAY! Plus with all his psycho drama & baggage...I don't see us having a future whatsoever now. He called me a few times last month but I finally told his brother to tell him to stop. If he calls again---I'm going to tell him not to call me again. I mean, it's not fair to psycho wacko & it's not fair to me (my heart).

 

Yes--Thank God 2004 is no more! I think it sucked for all of us. I feel like 2005 is going to be the new 'doorway' for all of us.

 

So, have you met anyone new?

 

Take care girl! Keep ranting & venting. You know we're all here.

 

MJ

[LexiB]

Hey MJ!

 

No, not seeing anyone in particular but I have been having a great time just hanging out with my male friends that I never really got to know when I was with X.

 

FYI, a bunch of us are gonna go see "White Noise" tomorrow. For the prices of movies in the city, this better be good

 

Just keeping my options open and praying my next relationship wont be as pointless as this one was. But maybe this is too much to hope for from the 20-23 male age group...? lol

[Three of Swords]

Hey people

 

BAS - "SOLD" - you couldn't afford me darlin'. Also, I am over 40, but not yet desparate

 

drjones - yeah for you! Sounds like your girl is great. A real gem. Gives me heart to know that good people are out there as well.

 

mj - Best of luck this weekend.

 

wierd - Glad I could put a smile on your face It is tough having faith in hummons! But hey I'm working on hope, you work on faith, (who want's to work on charity?)

 

urban/johnny - you are soo hot. Thought you were fantastic in Chocolate.

 

lexi - jan arden has a great soul - like your choice w. the lyrics quote. White Noise is freaky sounding - I'm not a big fan of the scary movies tho.

 

 

Update to the guy I blasted on Lava - he emailed me back saying "I really hit a nerve didn't I? - but I don't want to debate the issue..." fine by me - I deleted him anyway. Yeah for the delete option!

 

Going for a consult on a tattoo tomorrow - getting one of Yggdrasil - the Norse world tree - the tree of life and death on my back in between my shoulder blades. Paying for pain!! It's a mad, mad world.

 

Have a good weekend all!

[kodiak]

Hey Everybody-

 

Whats going on, its been awhile for me. I have been so busy working and stuff that i did not get a chance to post. Im glad to see that everyone is doing well. It looks like some our having contact with the exes. I dont know if thats a good or bad thing. I havnt heard from my ex since the message about three weeks ago. I sent her text on x-mas wishing her and her family a merry xmas but who knows if she got it. Like you all know she moved so i dont even know if she has the same number. I have been doing alot of thinking lately and i have to say that i have been kinda bummed. I mean this year was suppose to be better but so far all i have done was miss my ex. A girl that i know asked me why i was single and so forth and how long i was with my ex for and so on. It broke my heart to tell her about it and it made me realize that i still love her so very much. I was driving around today and with the storms that we have been having, made it very depressing. You know? Anyways I was thinking how happy i was when i was with my ex and how much enjoyed each day. I was so happy with her. It hurts because when i think about it, maybe she wasnt happy with me. Maybe i didnt make her happy. I know that i tried my very best and ofcourse I had my flaws but in the long run i feel that i treated her great. So it sucks that although I was happy she maybe wasnt. I wish i could talk to her agin but like I said before i have no adress, no number if it changed, NOTHING. I found this lotion that she bought me under my sink today and I almost lost it. The smell brought me right bach to her house. I would remember putting in on and getting ready to go out with her. It killed me inside, you know? Its going on seven months now and it hurts like hell still. Why? Tell me my friends was I that inlove with her i will never find somone i will fall that deeply inlove with again, or am I just screwed up in the head. I mean I know people that have been togther for years and broke up and they do much better than me. Sure it might be getting easier but it still hurts. I still beleive that she is my soulmate but like my ex ex gf said that if she is you would still be togther or she will come back eventually. Who knows. I read all of these post here and alot have some kinda contact with there exes, good or bad. Boy do i want that, i mean so bad do i want that. My mom says i should call her but after i called last time and that guy picked up whoever it was and gave me such a attitute im afraid too. Maybe im being a sissy but its really tough. Will she ever call again? Or now that she moved will that voicemail she left me last month be the last I will hear her voice. What do you all think? I mean now i have given up on getting back with her. I mean maybe she never really loved me. Know all i want is to be able to contact her once in awhile. I mean not just because of her but her family too, i was very close to them. Then again maybe i thought her family loved me too but i am wrong.

 

Sorry this is so sappy but its just been kinda a ****ty day for me. You all know those relapse kinda days. I just want to thank all of you here on the shack. Drjones, urban,mj, bigsteve, head/heels, weird, and everybody else for being such ggod friends. I hope things start to look up this year. I can tell you one thing i wont allow myself to feel so down about her anymore. Sure I will miss her and think about her but i just dont want it to hurt so much. Anyways tell me what you think i should do as far as contacting her. I would say be honest but i know everyone always is. Thanks....................Kodiak

[LexiB]

Kodiak-- Im so sorry you've been having such a rough time lately. The lotion, ouch I know what you mean, those little triggers can be deadly.

 

About whether you should call her, I dont know. When that guy picked up the phone last time, did she tell you not to call her again/ That she didnt wanna speak to you anymore? If not, I would say call her if you feel that's the only way to ease your mind. Might be better to get it over with and take the chance of having him or her tell you off (hopefully not) than to agonize over it 24/7, you know? Besides, whatever happens at least you'll find out whether or not she changed her number w/o telling you.

 

I hope this helps a bit and that you feel better soon.

 

Good Luck!

[Weird]

I just ended the pathetic "friendship" I was trying to have with him. It wasnt going anywhere (the friendship) and I felt stupid throughout most of it. Talk every other week for 20 mins about nothing, havnt hung out since october cause apparently he's oober busy...the crap list goes on. But whatever.

 

haha yep, join the club sweetie. I felt the same way. It was so pointless trying that friendship and I would think to myself "wtf am I wasting time on this?" so it had to end. I just loved the pointless conversation sooooooooo much.

 

good to see you are doing well and I want all thebest for you in 2005:)

 

 

 

MJ,

 

hey beautiful...yeah 2004 sucked but for me 2004 was a bit better than 2003. Guess it helps that 2003 was the year I went through my relationship hell. As for the world, I wonder if 2004 was worse than 2003. 2004 has some rpetty messed up crap happen as did 2003. Hmmm....I will say for the world 2004 was worse. I have to have faith 2005 will be a good year at least for fine people like you. I know what will make 2005 good...you visiting in the summer! hehe:)

 

Sup?

 

 

3 of sowrds,

 

hehe so glad you are on this site and posting in this thread. I'll work on the charity and Head/heels on the faith.

[Weird]

kodiak,

 

 

dude, I odnt think anything is wrong with you for still feeling this way 7 months after but you should be starting to feel better as time goes by than how you did earlier. If not then you probably are rehashing things over and over and all that does is make every day seem like the first day. If you cant force yourself to stop thinking about things constantly then you may need to seek some counceling which I hope you would not think makes you look like a "sissy" because lots of strong people get counceling for various issues.

 

As for the lotion, yeah it can hurt to see those little reminders.

 

All I know is I hope you start to feel better soon because you are a good person/friend and I want nothing but the best for you. My line is always open on AIM or MSN so drop me line one day if you want.

[Weird]

hey I saw yesterday on yahoo's headlines that brad pitt and jen aniston split up...haha, maybe Brad will come here and chat with us. Although, he is apparently a huge pothead so he'd prolly be too stoned to get on his comp and find the site and I'd think he'd "cope" better taking bong hits with B-Real and Joe Rogan, both of who are huge potheads as well.

 

Maybe Jen will come on here...she seems neurotic though...reminds me of a certain person who doesn't post on here anymore.

 

 

I just find it funny celebs marry other celebs just for what seems like the publicity. What a way to whore your life out to your job/image. Yikes.

 

All I know is for 2005 to start off well the Colts better win tomorrow.

[djones]

Hey Kodiak,

 

Yeah scents can be powerfull reminders of the past, my kyptonite for my ex was her perfume and the smell of gerber dasies that I used to give her alll the time. As for contacting her, I would say no, you did everything you could man, she has your number and e-mail she can call you man....the last time you called the guy answered her phone, I am sure she knew that you called. I think this will just open more wounds for your heart man and its not helping you trying to get over what has happend, I know its tough man belive me you and I have have gone through hell like the rest of the gang here. I think just leave it alone for awhile untill you feel better, b/c it just seems like its going to tear you up again, from the last time you called and the guy answered, it set your mind back to those emotions for your ex. Like we have said if its meant to be It will come back to you....If she is meant to come back to you, she has to want to come back to you man...you have done enough and right now you need to just fix your self and just find that inner happiness again. I know you are not up to it, but try going out on a casual date and get to know some new women, I think it will help, I did not feel up to doing that as well, but I think forceing myself to stop feeling sorry for my self and the help from the rest of the gang here helped me to to resolve some issues about my breakup...I am getting better, like MJ and I we still have some issues and both our guard are still way up, but thats only natural. Keep is posted man and keep in touch, send me a PM I would like to add you to my MSN so we chat some time....well take care and if you need some help just post it here man and we will help...

[Three of Swords]

How about the smell of someone who uses the same shampoo - always gets me weak.

 

Sometimes someone lifts their eyebrow quizzically (in the same way) or makes that same click with their tongue at the top of their mouth and man it nearly brings me to my knees.

 

Dam* just thinking about this brings tears to my eyes. OK merging into weeping! STOPPING NOW!!

 

In an attempt to rid myself of reminders, I tossed things. An action that I really regret now. The thing I now miss the most ended being flushed down the toilet by moi. It was a perfect analogy at the time for my hopes.

 

Put everything in a box, place it far, far, away in a place that is difficult to reach and destroy only when you have truly moved on. (But hey if you have truly moved on maybe these things will become fond memories???)

 

But move forward we must.

 

I had a counselling session earlier this week and the counsellor said that a loss of love is just like a death.

 

The grieving is the same. There are many phases to this grief and they don't always follow a straight path - often you just kinda jump around in the different stages for a while. But eventually you work your way to a point where you can move on. You won't likely ever forget that person - but the sting will be less.

 

How long that takes is different with everyone.

 

I'm all for a drink to 2005 being the year for recovery.

Party at my place - don't forget your winter woolies though still COLD in E-Town with no relief in sight.

[bigacesteve]

I finally got a phone call last night from Vicki and we chatted for a while and had a good laugh. She told me she'd ring today and sort out going out together but it's now 21:00 and still nothing. I've made no other plans because I thought I'd hear from her. She went out last night with some friends and I was receiving text messages from her all night. I've texted her today asking if she had a good night and if she managed to pickle herself but I've had nothing back. Why promise to ring me and yet again let me down? I think I might have to give up on this one, I do not want to get hurt again. She's promised to ring a good 4 times now and everytime she's not rung me. I've tried ringing her a few times but I just get answerphone. I usually have a lot of faith in people but it's rapidly going on Vicki, think I'm being messed about dudes.

[Three of Swords]

bac - I know it's tough and really really difficult not to worry - but it sounds like things are still going good. Afterall yesterdays chat went well.

 

Give the girl and yourself a chance.

 

She could be

 

a) really hung over

b) actually busy

c) have an emergency in her life that keeps her from contacting you right away

 

My best wishes go your way - if that helps.

[bigacesteve]

Three Of Swords,

thank you for the advice. You are absolutely right, I need to chill. I think it's the excitement because we talked last night and she texted me most of the night. Just felt a little gutted because I was hoping to see her tonight but instead I'm watching films on my own.

 

My housemates (best friends) have both been text messaging me on the slopes in Canada. Sounds like I would love it there; just couldn't risk it though with starting in the police 3 weeks from now. If I got injured I wouldn't be able to start and then 2 and a half years of trying to get in would go up in smoke.

 

I'm soooo glad this place exists, I can vent my frustrations and get sound advice. Thank you all. Just wish we could all meet up and have one big party. Not in Stoke-on-Trent though, somewhere interesting like Sydney, Australia. When I've done my 2 years probation, think I'll have a year out and go travelling around Australia.

 

Right I'm going back to watch Fargo. Probably be on later.

[kodiak]

Hey Everybody-

 

Hows it going today? Im feeling better today although there always seems to be something stupid that makes me think of her. For example my dad was showing me this magazine and had a advertisement for a trip that her and I were planning togther so it kinda sucked, you know? Anyways i guess thats the breaks of it.

Werid- Thanks for your reply and concern my brother. I truly appreciate the offer to Im you, i just have to get my stupid computer fixed up. I will think again about counseling but i have been there before so Im not sure. We will have to see. I mean truly i dont think that I need it but just have to accpet that she is never coming back and man up a bit, you know?

 

Drjones- Thanks too for your reply. Yep those scents and little reminders do suck but thats all part of loosing the one you love. It seems things are going well for and the new girl. Thats good man. I guess you are sometimes getting contact from your ex so how are you dealing with it? Let me know?

 

LexB- You brought up some really good points in your reply to me. Thanks for that. You know it seems weird that she would leave me that message about her picking up moving, and not expect me to call her and wonder what happened, you know? I mean why just text me and say thanks for the card and leave it at that. Im sure she expected me to call after hear such news. I guess thats how i would feel if the roles were reversed. Sure I was bent about the guy picking up who knows who it was. Im sure it was a new Bf but i will never know. It just seems weird that she would have him pick up the phone if it had my number on it. Even if she didnt know, wouldnt she wanna know who called her. Maybe, maybe not. I look at it like this. I tried to call and if she wants to talk its her turn now. I would love to call her but it hurt last time that dick picked up, i dont wanna fel like that agian. Its a ****ty feeling, you know?? I forget to leave out a part to this story. The day after i called and the guy picked up I sent her a text saying" I called but somebody else picked up., lol..dont worry i wont call again. I hope things are ok and the move went well, take care" Maybe this text screwed with her head but i dont kniow. Hell, i dont know if she even got it.

 

Anyways im off to bed but i will be back tomorrow, take care...............Kodiak

[audrey]

hey all,

Haven't been on for a while, trying to make you think I'm busy moving on with my life..yeah right.

 

Kodiak,

I know how you feel. I didn't know if my ex had a new love then they came into a bar I was in and were all over each other. I had to tell my friend to go tell him I was there so that they wouldn't come upstairs to where I was. I could see their reflection in the mirror and when he heard I was in there, he was just gutted. That broke my heart to know he couldn't bear to see me and he was stroking his new girlfriends hair saying it was alright then they left. I was a bit drunk so text him saying "Well that wasn't too awkward.." and he never replied.

I think the crap bit is wanting to know how they managed to move on and start again when you still feel like this. I've never seen her again and heard from him maybe twice in a few months but their still together and I feel obsessed. I don't want to know anything about her or their relationship but on the other hand I do.... Its very confuing. All I can say is hang on in there. It's been 9 months for me and I'm still crying so I cant give you a time line but everyone says it will get easier and they cant all be wrong....can they? Much love, I hope you feel ok. xxxxxxxxx

 

Wierd,

I'm not famous by a long shot but I have been in a couple of films (very small parts)and dodgy british tv but I'm not telling what because our English friends will laugh and possibly ban me from posting if they know.

 

Take care everybody

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Three of Swords]

Originally posted by audrey

It's been 9 months for me and I'm still crying so I cant give you a time line but everyone says it will get easier and they cant all be wrong....can they?

 

Please please let it get easier!!!

 

Been 2 months for me. And I too am still crying.

 

Last night found out he was trying to hook up with someone else. Don't know if he was successful or not, but hey just knowing this made me a wreck.

 

How much of a mess will I be if/when I see him with someone else??

Discussed that with a friend a few days ago and my words were "Hope it (knowing about/seeing him w. someone) doesn't kill me!"

 

B. (who isn't even a little bit famous)

[bigacesteve]

It's got to be one of our worst nightmares, the ex finding someone else and moving on BUT how is the ex ever going to realise what a complete mess they have made unless they try to replace us?? I cannot stand the thought of my ex being with someone else (she isn't... yet) but I think it will be the only way she will realise what she has lost and maybe it will give me some closure at the same time. My ex ex tried to replace me numerous times and everytime I saw her she would tell me that they just were not me; WTF does that mean?? She was trying to replace me with someone like me??? My current ex said near enough the same thing; she said that she wasn't even looking because she wouldn't find anyone better. WTF!!!

 

On another note I have tried to move on by dating other women but I am getting nowhere. I'm coming to the conclusion that English women are flippin crazy apart from the odd few on this site who think the men are nuts. I've still heard nothing from Vicki and I think I'll just ignore her if she ever rings. Since Xmas Eve I've rang her a number of times and she's not once answered the phone. I've received text messages from her and one phone call where she 'promised' to ring me this Saturday. She stressed that she would ring me Saturday because every other time she has said she will ring she hasn't. Everytime I open myself up I end up getting messed around again; it's a good job I have a strong heart because sometimes I wonder how the heck I put up with this? My ex really messed me around New Years day, which was upsetting because she looked in a right state mentally. I don't understand how I can still forgive her and everyone else who has hurt me in the past but I keep doing it. If any of my ex's rang me needing help I'd jump to help them, I wouldn't think twice; probably why I'll make such a good policeman.

 

Three Of Swords,

just after my ex ex dumped me I spotted her out one quiet night up town. She tried to sneak past me to the toilets and I saw her watching me from the toilets when she was coming back. She finally walked over to me, said hello, had a go at me infront of all my bewildered friends and stormed off around the corner. I looked at my friends and decided to follow her to tell her what I thought and found her sitting next to some lad on 'our' sofa. We used to frequent the bar a lot when we were together and we always sat at this sofa that they were now both sitting on. How the heck I managed to stay in control I don't know; the lad even got up and told me I'd better go. I was towering over him by about a foot. I just whispered in his ear that he didn't know who he was messing with and he'd better sit back down, which he did. I then walked away. It hurt like hell seeing that but apparently he only lasted 2 dates she later told me.

 

I read KaiaMahina's thread 'Give Yourself a Second Chance' earlier under this Coping group. She makes a lot of sense and I looked at the 2nd chance section she mentions and we all really need to look there; people are getting 2nd chances and they're still miserable, maybe even more miserable than when they were apart totally?! I'm coming to the conclusion that when a relationship has been ended by one and not the both of you, that's it, game over because it takes 2 to start it up again and they just don't care enough.

 

I am going to do an etch-a-sketch, I'm going to shake my life up and erase those painful thoughts of the past and start from scratch. No more trying to sort things out with people in my past who have hurt me; I've given them enough chances and they've proven to be not worthy of my time and extreme effort. I think I've come to the end of my tether and I'm tired of being *****ed about. 3 weeks form now and my new life in the police begins; won't have time to think of the ex then.

[djones]

Hey Guys,

 

How are you all doing? I hope you all had a good weekend...

 

Kodiak-- Hey man, I am glad to hear you are feeling better...How am I handeling the ex contact, it was a little hard about 2 weeks ago when she and I talked I had a few feelings surface, but it was ok, I told her that I am seeing someone now and that everything is going great and she told me that she is happy for me, since that time she has not contacted me, which is fine for me....i think its does not hurt that much talking to her now....I think I needed a break from her, no contact works for me now, b/c I am starting to feel happy since the break up and I like being wiht my new girl...so we will see, my guard is still up but that will take some time to lower...

 

Lexib--good to hear from you girl, keep posting on how you are doing when you get a chance

 

Audrey-- Boy you must the front runner on being famous in our group, thats so cool...As for you yeah I know its still hard for me before i met my GF it was 7 months and I felt bad everyday since then just like the gang here, I too did not belive that it will get better and everyone else said that in time it will, they are right its just that time is the thing that can either slow down or spreed up the process of healing and that is an unknown factor. What has helpped me and the rest of the gang here is posting how you are feeling and just rant here, it does help to "clear the mind" try posting more often, the guys/gals here will help you...

 

3of Swords--that sucks hearing about your ex...i know its hard but try for a while not to find out infor about your ex if your firend have info just tell them you are not interested...it will help you to heal...the no contact thing works to help you heal..

 

BAS-- I am sorry to hear about Viki man, I cant figure out what the hell she is doing, yeah just dont call her, let her do the calling and see what happens, in the mean time if some other woman comes along and tickles your fancy give it shot....life is too short....

 

Weird-- I am now football kind of guy but I did hear your colts won so I am happy for you buddy!!

 

As for me I went out with my GF on the weekend we saw that movie called "closer" dont see it blew chuncks....but that did nto kill our day, we had great time again, we talked and just hung out like a bunch of teenagers...its funny I have never acted like a teen when I was one and I now I get a second chance being around her...so we will guys...we you all take care and i will chat you all soon

[Weird]

Steve,

 

man forget vicki. She is gonna mess up your mind even more with her weirdness. Don't want to see you get too frustrated there dude.

 

I'm like you bro...I have a big heart and forgive people all the time and sometimes end up getting screwed again. Many times it sucks having a big heart in this world but I'm not going to change how I am. I feel like I'd be cheating myself and also cheating the good people I come into contact with who deserve me being a nice/caring guy.

 

Oh and I agree about hwo exes have to be with others to usually realize how much they may have fugged up. I used to hate thinking about Ali being wiht another guy but now I just shrug and think to myself "chick needs a dose of reality of how guys can be out there"

 

 

 

Kodiak,

 

keep it up dude and I am positive you'll be feeling much better in the near future.

 

 

 

3 of swords,

 

agree with the Doc...dont get info on the guy because it'll most likely only make you feel bad.

[head/heels]

havent posted in a while..but have been ttying to follow over the past few days....

 

cant post too much now as i am about to visit betty white....

 

anyhow.... we all seem to have a healthy understanding of where we stand and whaere we need to go.....i am giong to cut it short here but my next post just might fill up the rest of the thread....so if you want to get a few more posts in this thread...better get er done soon..!

 

jk....oh, btw, my claim to fame is it found a potatoe chip that looked just like jesus christ himself when i was 10....i sold it to some lady who collected these chips for like 500 dollars.....crazy ass bird!

 

 

 

[head/heels]

i really didnt find a potato chip of jesus or anything closely remote to that....just got all sad bc i didnt have anything that made me famous..so i made it up...sorry...ill go now...such a loser.........and who makes up a story like that? geez

 

hope everyone got a good laugh out of it! i really need a hobby!

 

smile and keep up the NC

 

will post more later...and i swear this time it will be non-fictional

[Three of Swords]

V. funny head/heels - I went to work after reading your first post and was telling my co-workers about this guy who had found this Jesus potato chip.

 

We even googled it to see if there was anything on the internet about it!!

 

And now you tell me it's not real!! Shame on you.

 

There goes my vicarious claim to fame. "I knew of a guy who ......"

 

 

 

He he - never mentioned it to a soul. Am just kidding as well.

_________________________

 

Re NC

 

Do they make a patch for that? I want something that slowly leaks out the ability to maintain no contact.

 

Whenever I am sitting at the computer, I find myself checking MSN to see if he is on. I read his Display Name, click onto his contact name as if I am sending an Instant Message just to see his display picture.

 

And whenever I get the itch to contact, I log on to LS. And read the posts. And go back on LS to see if there is new posts. LS is my Nicorette.

 

I am truly trying to kick my dirty little habit here people.

 

B.

[head/heels]

you had me going too!!!! i was laughing my ass off about you and your friends looking for a jesus potato chip on google...funny but i bet there is such a thing....then WAM...you pulled the rug out from under me....good one...got me to smile

 

well dont worry about if he is on or not....we all do silly stuff like that....i just have to put my faith in god...and not jesus on a potato chip! the real actaul jesus christ and leave it with him...and that is what i shall do...my life is in his hands and i will not stray

 

i will be a good little lamb and stay close (like he has to trip over me and almost curse aloud bc i am always underfoot) to him....that way, i will never lose my way again and i wont be eaten by the wolf that is my ex...god love her.....

 

night all

night B. chin up you will be loved

[Urban Rubble01]

Hey guys, just saying hi.

 

Today the ex sent me an E-mail ending with " I love you and I think about you every day".

 

The saga continues.........

 

 

Haha, no, things are fine. She actually proposed the idea of hanging out Valentines day. Haven't called her in 2 weeks and I won't for a little while. No real reason, just to see how it feels I guess.

 

Anyway, hope things are good with everyone else. They haven't closed our thread yet ! Woohoo !!