Lets make 2005 a good one, we can do it!!!!

[djones]

sorry multiple post

[djones]

sorry multiple post

[djones]

Sorry multiple post...

[djones]

sorry computer crapped out

[Three of Swords]

Well people. One month down in 2005. Can't say it's been great, but can't say it has been all that bad though either.

 

In an effort to expand my social circle (tight little circle that it is), I am trying to join 'things'. Not sure I will stick with it - but hey maybe there will be ripple effects and something great might just come of it. Hope is my middle name! (Not really - but hope is the straw I continually grasp). Tonight I went to a Book Club. First one ever. Don't have a car bus no worries - I went on my city's wonderful internet transit trip planner.

 

Well one hour and two buses later - got dropped off in the middle of nowhere that I knew, in a subdivision far far away. Dug into my purse to locate the phone number and house number - of course not there!! What to do? What to do? Walked around a bit, rang on someone's doorbell, nobody home. Knew the last name of the person whose house I was supposed to be at - that was all.

 

Ugg - so I walked for a ways until I ended up heading out of the sub-division and found a gas station. Got the phone book and started to head down the list of 20 same last names. Lucked out on the 6th call and got the address of where I was supposed to be.

 

Headed out again - was still lost - phoned the woman again! (cell phones are a wonderful thing). Turns out there are two ends to the street - it loops and of course I was on the wrong loop. She decided to send someone out to rescue me.

 

Oh what fun! Thankfully one of the other women drove me home later so I didn't have to worry about that - although getting home is easier though cause you are heading to somewhere familiar.

 

I just think the aforementioned little story is such an analogy of my life. I am wandering around just a little bit lost, reaching out for some help and waiting for a rescue. Though I know I have to be resourceful and rescue myself too!

 

As for my desolate love life - no rescue in sight. Still paddling maddly trying to keep from drowing in the sorrow of my heart break.

 

The One that I love (and who apparently doesn't have any feelings other than friendship for me) has started to IM me with regularity. I find that totally confusing.

 

We remain friends although one of us (three guesses who and the first two don't count) would like to be more.

 

So the conversations are friendly and totally neutral. If he IMs me we sometimes talk for about an hour. If I happen to IM him first, the conversation is usually short with perfunctory answers by him. Wierd?

 

I don't know what to make of all of it. I try not to get my heart in a twist over this. I know I could block him, but don't know if I really want to. So I continue.

 

I think I am getting better - there are great stretches of time (sometimes up to two hours) when I don't even think of him anymore. And I only cry about 2 - 3 times a week now. Progress is a wonderful thing!

 

On a completely different track here - is anyone familiar enough with shopping in Toronto to give me some suggestions as to where to go. My son and I will be downtown near Queen and Bathhurst in mid February. We are looking for small funky shops - with cool stuff that isn't too expensive. Any suggestions?

[bigacesteve]

Hi everyone,

 

Not been on here very often lately. I've started my new job as a police constable and it's mint!!! Loads of training, loads of new friends and a feeling of actually doing something worthwhile. I get home and I feel as though I've done a good days work.

Every police woman I've seen appears to have her head really screwed on and they're all gorgeous! It makes me laugh at just how immature my ex's have been. How I ever put up with my ex's I don't know??

[WantanS4]

Can I get a witness?!?!

Can I get a witness?!?!

Can I get a witness?!?!

Can I get a witness?!?!

Can I get a witness?!?!

 

Hello all... Goodbye all.... nice to be here again.

 

WantanS4

[djones]

Hey Gang,

 

Glad to hear all is well for some of you all, I too have been busy with my work and now studying for my board exam. I am doing fine things are going well so far with the little woman.

 

BAS-- Good to hear from you buddy, I am glad that you are likeing your new job as a cop, I think that is so cool....hey so there are a few cutie female cops there, nice....well atleast you dont have to worry about finding handcuffs for the bed room .....

 

3 Of Swords --- Glad to hear that you are getting out there and meeting people, as for getting lost to the book club, well atleast you can say you meet a friend now that drove you home!

 

Oh I saw that you are wanting to know about shopping in Toronto the main shopping strip in toronto I would say is on Young St....the Eaton Center is located there (thats a big mall with plenty of store ie your gap, and run of the mill stores) but if you walk along Young St from there you can find lots of small independant stores with all kinds of cool stuff....Just ask a cab to take you to the Eaton Center and then you can walk along Young St from there......

 

Wantans4---hey buddy how are you doing? drop us a little note to let us know whats been going on in your life!!!

 

well gang take care

[kodiak]

Hey Everybody-

 

 

Well just when i was feeling beter about things i get hit with yet another heartbreak. i guess this is good heartbreak but it is still heartbreak. i need you all to give me your feedback on this one and tell me what i should do or if i should do anything at all. Well i was pondering writting that letter to my ex which i havnt done yet. Anyways if you dont remember the incident you can go back and raed my previous post. A quick summary though. I sent her the bday card, she called about a month later thanking me and telling me that she moved. CAlled her back, some guy picked up, and i never heard from her again. Well today i get my mail and i get a card with no return address. I open it up and before i can read the words my heart stopped. I saw that it was her writting so i knew it was from her. Anyways this wasnt a card just saying hi and catching up, or to thank me for the b-day card. This card basically said how much i mean to her and what a wondefull guy i am and so on. She said how she was watching our show the other night and she thought about me,etc... and how one of the characters reminds her so much of me. Then this part killed me. She said she new how amazing, caring and wonderfull i was when she met me, but now she is really realizing it. Crazy huh!!!! Anyways im not really sure what to think now. Is this the type of letter that you send to a ex boyfriend of 7 months? So tell me what you all think that i should do or give me your ideas on this letter. Take Care......Kodiak

[djones]

hey Kodiak

 

Good to hear from you, I read your post, when was the letter dated? ie just want to know how long ago did she wrote the letter. I think you need to resolve this issue once and for all, I think you should find her and talk to her and see where you stand with her. I say DO IT NOW!!! dont wait, dont ponder about this just do it and find out once and for all if there is a chance for you and her, if not you can move on or move forward with her. It seems like she still does care for you, well go and find her and find out face to face, regardless of the out come you need to know NOW, otherwise you are just going to drive yourself crazy wondering for the rest of your life. If she says no, well you can move on once and for all, if she says yes she wants you, well you have to decide what you want. Kodiak I say do this NOW, dont wait anymore you have been through for 7 months and you need to resolve this either way... keep us posted...take care

[bigacesteve]

Bloody hell Kodiak, what a head masher!!! I'm with drjones, find out as soon as possible but do not get your hopes up to high. I've been in a similar situation and it's been all magic and then they drag the carpet from beneath you. If you have a phone number then speak to her, get your answers, if they're not what you want then move away as quickly as possible. Sounds like you both really need to talk, don't mess about just get it done but like I said cover your own arse. She may be going through a hard time and has decided to use you to get through it, hopefully not but watch out and keep a level head mate.

[Urban Rubble01]

Kodiak, I'm in agreement with the other two. Find this girl and see what the deal is, but don't get your hopes up.

 

As for me, things are as unclear as ever. I did 4 weeks of NC just to see if I could. But I called her the other day and we talked. She said I sounded depressed, asked how I was doing and all that. She tells me not to be worry, don't listen to the pessimism. She said "Just think of how much more secure we'll be when we're back together". At one point, totally unprompted from me she just says "I love you so much".

 

Anyway, I don't really know what kind of "advice" I'm looking for because I know that the only thing I can do is to continue what I've been doing. Don't rely on it working out but remain "there" for her. As always, that's the hardest thing in the world to do when she's telling me how much she loves me and how she "knows there isn't anyone better" for her.

 

**** it.

[kodiak]

drjones, urban,bigsteve-

 

Thanks so much for your advice. Although i have never met you all, it is nice to know that i have people like you just around the corner(even though we our miles apart,loll..but you know what i mean.) to help me out. I am not oing to get my hopes up at all. Sure I would love to have her back in my life and that has been my wish for all this time but there could be so many reasons why she sent that letter. Maybe a relationship ended, maybe she just felt like that was closure for her, or maybe she does still care for me. I wish the latter of the three but like you guys said i cant get my hopes up. The letter was posted on jan13, but the postage was wrong so it looked like it might have been sent back to her. I dont know. A week ago i stopped by to get my mail at my old house, and it was not there, so Im really not sure when it arrived to me. I will do something i promise you all and i will let you know. I need to figure out what avenue i want to take with this but i know the clock might be ticking. I will keep you posted. If you guys think of anything else please let me know. Once again thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope that over all this time we have been here on the shack that i have helped you guys like you all have helped me. Take Care.............Kodiak

[Weird]

kodiak,

 

As others have stated, son, you need to get into contact wiht this girl and get this stuff resolved once and for all. Sounds like this girl really is going nostalgic and most likely is regretting things. I have no idea what she is thinking though or what she may want but you need to find out.

 

Damn girls in their 20s...they are all messed up. I have become convinced of that in the last week. All I know is I would never date a girl in her early-mid 20s again. Thankfully I dont want that so it is all good. There is this one awesome & amazing woman I would love to hang with but distance is preventing that from happening right now. Damn this world...

[Three of Swords]

Kodiak - my vote is with all of the above. Gotta find out what this is all about - if nothing comes of it at least you might be able to move forward then.

 

Wierd - Girls in their 20s are messed up - eh? I wasn't particualry messed up in my 20s - just naive.

 

More messed up in my 40s at the moment thanks! BTW distance relationships are tough best of luck.

 

Urb - wow - sounds like an emotional roller coaster. I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you two.

 

BAS - good that you like your new career. You sounds soo much more cheerful and on top of things. Can you rub some of your optimism on to me please?

 

djones - thanks for the info on TO - I will let you know how it goes.

 

Hope everyone is well. I know I keep trying - one foot placed in front of the other.

 

B.

[shamen]

Hi everybody,

 

I wasn't able to read the entire post, but it looks like everyone is trying to get on with their life after a break up, or starting over... So, I figured that I would say hello.

 

New Year's sucked this year. My exbf who I got back together with in late September or so did coke again and hit on a one of my best friend's friends while I was there, yep, on New Year's. It was obvious he did blow again. My friend told me about the hitting on thing, so, here I am. Single, again. It was over 4 years, on and off, mind you. Yea, the man I've been in love with for so long is never going to get it together. I tried and tried to help him. He just couldn't get off the coke and he drank like a fiend. Alcoholic fiend that he is.

 

So, anyways, I'm out of it. Hooray! I'm going to make it stick this time. I've started going back to the gym and I'm back to yoga. It has the potential to be the best year I've had in over 3 years; I'm pretty excited about it! Sad too, but that's all part of the healing process.

 

To all y'all, here's to a much better year than last.

 

Now if only I could get my Xmas tree down... and if only I could've gone out tonight, but I've gotta save the cash for going out on Super Bowl Sunday.

[head/heels]

good news i presume bro

 

at least she confirmed what we all knew....... you are an A-1 premium USDA choice prime beef.......she knows that you are a great guy and she (for reasons unknown-but realize how hard it was for her to contact you so i am sure that she has some feelings that are true) there still.....

 

i know if my ex contacted me *6months* she would still have feelings for me

 

i know her too well, i know she thinks of me everyday, so i am sure yours does too

but, i would just write back to her in a non-mushy letter....and make sure to leave the ball in her court

and do not tell her you want back, that you love her, or any of that....just tell her you are great, been thinking about how she is doing and alll.,....and wait a week or two so she doesnt think you got the mail this seconde time around and just wrote one and sent it out because you are soo eager to get something to her

 

play it cool and safe and wait for her to ask something of you

which if she has balls and wants you, then she will

keep it light, joke with her like you did when you first met and see where it goes over written correspondence for now

beggars cant be choosers and good things come to those who wait!

 

keep us posted

did she leave a number and is the addy where you expected? or not?

how far away?

d

[kodiak]

Hey Everybody-

 

Hows it all going? Well i wrote her back the other night and i wll send it off in the mail tomorrow. I kept it very simple and nothig mushy. Sure i wanted to announce my love i still have for her but i know thats not the right things to do at this time. If i have my one wish granted maybe one day i can tell her i love her again. But like you all said do not get my hopes up at all, which i promise you im not. I do feel that she might still have some feelings for me. I mean seven months is a long time to go and it would seem weird that she decides to tell me all this stuff, you know? Well she said that she would call me and apologized for not calling me sooner so hopefully she will get the letter and call. I could be totally off with the outcome of all this and i have no clue even what to think about it either. I will keep you all posted.

 

head/heels- thanks for your reply. I hope you are right with what you think is going on in her head but we will just have to wait and see, you know. she recently moved so she said that she is still between phones which i know can happen, i had the same problem, so there was no number left in her letter. I feel that the letter meant more than her simply just needing closure. I mean basically she said she thinks about me and "really realized" how great i was and what an amazing caring person i am. She said that she knoew this before but is really realizing it now. Who knows what to think. She can have nothing but friendly attentions behind this but its a little wierd to send a card like that to your ex after 7 months. So im just going to go on with my life, keep having fun and see were this new event takes me. However i will not get my hopes up, thats a promise to all of my friends her at the shack....................Take Care..........................Kodiak

[Urban Rubble01]

Well that sounds fairly optimistic kodiak. Like I and everyone else have said, try not to get your hopes up but do at the same time do what you can to make things work.

 

Hope everyone's doing well. I'll probably report back after V-day looking for analysis of every small little thing she says

[head/heels]

yes URB that is what we all do isnt it! so please tell us all of it and then we can over analyze every pause, inflection, and change in tone of her voice with you...

 

oh and dont forget body language! that is sooo key when overanalyzing things

 

so, please make sure we get it all so we can misdirect you the least as we can and then we can all hope and pray for the best!

 

d

 

good luck and dont overdo the gift on Vday

[Weird]

shamen,

 

welcome to the thread.

 

Shame to hear about your ex and his drug problems. Good thing you saw that he wont get it together and realized you had to end it. No need to have yourself go down with him and his lack of control.

 

I hope that 2005 turns out to be a badass year for you and I'll come help take down your xmas tree.

[Urban Rubble01]

good luck and dont overdo the gift on Vday

 

Haha, gift ?

 

Nah, actually I'm not getting her anything. Well, that's only partly true. I have like 10 CD's burned for her, but that's not really for Valentines Day, and I have a little herb for her, but I had already promised her that. I'm just keeping it chill, I'll pay for dinner and all that but I'm not going to be showing up with flowers and diamonds. I was thinking of getting a nice jewlery box and when she opens it have a cheap plastic ring or something even more retarted. Or, I could just sit her down all somber and serious and tell her in the most honest tone possible that after our experience together I've decided that I'm a homosexual.

 

My gift will be my sweet ass and nothing more.

 

Shamen, apologies for not seeing your post before.

 

I know what you're going through with the drug thing. One of my really close friends pretty much ruined his life with meth, coke's more affordible and much more nasty cousin. I find that people with bad addictions to hard drugs or alcohol have to hit "rock bottom" (to sound as cliche as possible) before they get over that ****. So maybe you're doing him some good ?

[audrey]

Hey guys,

 

Its been a while but just caught up with the posts. Kodiak, i really hope she is going to respond to you in the way that you want from your letter. Its so hard not to get optimistic when an ex responds to anything we do never mind to tell you how much she thinks of you. I hope you are having fun in the meantime and try not to watch your mailbox too hard...

 

UR01 - If you tell her you're a recently comitted homosexual she may think twice about taking your sweet ass but good luck, I hope it goes well...

 

As for me, I saw my ex a couple of weeks ago. We got together to exchange a few last tings and i took our pet lizard back as the ex is going travelling with his new gf for a year. I picked him up and drove him to mine to help me set up the tank etc and I found myself driving the longest way just to spend time with him. We broke up last April and and I haven't seen him since october so I was oth dreading it and really excited/nervous. We ended up just chatting and talking about our familys and stuff. It was so nice, it was easy and familiar and I miss that so much. My tummy had butterflies the whole time and I just wanted to grab him and kiss him.

 

I know he's moved on - he's been seeing this girl since september - but I still love him so much. I've been asked out a few times but I just can't bear the thought of going out with anyone else. Before he got out of the car he leaned over and hugged me. I pulled away after a minute because I thought I was going to cry but he pulled me back and just held me for a while. Then he just said, 'look after yourself wont you, keep in touch'. That was it, now he's gone and I wont see him again for at least a year. I'm not sure I can handle this, it's like part of me's missing. I'm not the same person that I was when we were together and I don't think I'm a better person, I've just lost a part of me and its ****. I thought I was starting to get past all of this and now I'm back to the crap part again of missing him and hurting. I sent him a message thanking him for the stuff and help with the lizard but he never replied. Why do they say keep in touch when they have no intention? I'm sure he means, 'just keeping checking in and let me know you're okay so I don't feel guilty when i'm with my girlfriend on the adventure we were supposed to take together'.

 

Sorry guys, I realise I'm going on but I really feel crap right now and since everyone expects me to be over this already, I don't feel I can admit to anyone else that I'm still so sad.

 

Anyway, thanks for listening.....again.

Audrey

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[mj108]

There are so many things to tell you all.

 

I haven't seen my ex since September. Well, the last time I heard from him was New Years. He left me a message. A couple weeks ago my cellphone rang & I didn't recognize the number (I deleted all his nos out of my cellphone on New Years...starting the new year right!). Anyway, He left me a message. I shouldn't had called back but I did because I thought something was wrong. When I called back---for some reason I looked out my window & there he was...in his car...parked in front of my house. We were on the phone & he was telling me that he missed me...that she (his girlfriend) was starting her 'crap again.' Anyway, I was very strong & short with him. I was doing sooooo great until he got out of his car & came up on the porch! I looked into his eyes---BAM. It's like here I was on top of the ladder...moving on with my life & then I look into his eyes & he pushes me off...back down the ladder I go!! He gave me this big hug & I pushed him away. He looked at me and said "What is this? You have a Boyfriend?" Me---being the honest woman I am...told him "NO--but I could have one if I wanted one!" Anyway, he was very persistant & gave me another hug & this time...I couldn't help it. I hugged him back & he whispers in my ear..."This is what we both have been waiting for...I've missed you & I'm very sorry." If I told you all everything he said...this post would be sooo long. Basically, he promised me the moon & the stars & said that we are meant to be...blah..blah..blah. Told me he loved me before he left. Then he left & I haven't spoke to him since. He walked back into my life & left again. Here I am back to square 1---down & out...wondering WTF? Why did he come to my house & do this to me? I'm stunned...shocked...hell, I don't know how I feel anymore. I mean, why can't he just leave me alone & let me move on? It's like he came back because he's scared that I have moved on & he doesn't want to lose me. He wants his girlfriend & me...and all the cake, you know? But he can't have all the cake. I just wished I would had been stronger & not had called him back & would had told him to leave when he arrived at my front door!!

 

Audrey---I know what you mean about part of you is missing. I feel the same way & it's like you are back where you started...the pain...the hurt. Sorry you & I have to go through this again.

 

Shamen---Your situation sounds so familar---I've tried to save my ex from time to time & it hurt me so much seeing him mess up his life. We can't save the exes, you know? They have to save themselves.

 

3ofswords---I think it'll help you--getting out & doing things. I joined a church meeting & it has been helping me. Glad you joined the book club.

 

BAS---Glad to hear you are enjoying your new job!

 

WantanS4---Miss ya buddy! Keep in touch.

 

Kodiak---Keep your guard up. I agree with everyone here...You have to be careful.

 

drjones---you know what to do! Have that happiness with new chick...you deserve that!

 

H/H---How have you been buddy? Hope you've been doing good. The church meeting has helped me & I'm so glad I took the class!

 

UR01---Have a great V-day! Hope it goes well.

 

Weird---I know what you mean about being miles away from someone you'd like to hang out with. Especially if you have soooo much in common with that person. Makes you want to blink your eyes like I dream of Jeannie & be there with them. ha If only we had magical powers, you know?

[djones]

Hey Gang,

 

Hows everyone doing? I have been doing fine, things are going well with the new chick...however today I my ex contacted me on msn, she asked how am i doing I said fine, hows work blah, blah......then she asked me so hows things with you and your GF, are you married yet....I told her things are great and no we are not married....the conversation ended up talking about us and that she is single right now....She told me that she broke up with me b/c she did not have time to give me a reltionship that I deserved and now that her time is freeded up with her new job....So I at this point she was getting at getting back together with me. We talked about when we were together that we wanted to get married and I asked her did she really meant it, she said that she did and that we could have made it. I asked her if I was not seeing my GF now would she want to get back together? She said I cant answer that it would put her in a wierd postion....Then she said " what I iwll say that now b/c I have more time for a reltionship you are taken she ended that with a smiley and a wink in it.....I told her that you know I waited for you for a while and my GF came along and that I care for her....But i still have feelings for my ex but I dont want to get hurt again, all these feelings for her came out again and I had a hard time to controling it. I told her that like you said it was bad timing.....She told me that if we were togheter I would not have met my GF so maybe thats the way its supposed to end up.....I guess thats the way life goes, but now hearing this I got mixed feelings for her and I really do like my GF , she is great, she is caring and starting to be my best friend. Its just when your ex comes back again they seem to know when your life is going well to ***** with you.

I told MJ about this she told me that stick with the new girl, yeah you still love your ex but do you want to go back to the possiblity of hurt and pain again or try something new with this new girl and be happy. It made sence to me when she told me but it was so hard when i was talking to my ex....our exes can get the better of us even when you have someone.....

 

audrey--- Good to hear from you, just hang in there, I know what you mean about revisiting the hurt and pain again i was feeling that today with my ex talking to me, its bitter sweet...either way it sucks @$$.....

 

Kodiak--- hows it going any new info

 

BAS--- keep us posted if you nab any crooks, lay a beating with that night stick for me, I could use that to take out my agressions right now

 

Weird--- yeah that distance thing can suck big time, I think you should make the move to meet this hot chick or tell that hot chick to see you up here!

 

3 0f swords--- no problem if you need more info about TO let me know

 

UR01--- that gay angle may not work ....make sure you wrap that herb with a nice bouquet of roses....nothing like the smell of herbs and roses

 

 

Well i just wanted to let you all know what has happend to me... i hope all is well with you all...this 2005 year I dont know what to think