Christians who use their beliefs to make their decisions - Long

[irc333]

I live in a small, rural community...and in this area....Christians tend to be highly ultraconservative to the point where their college-aged children need to be chaperoned.

The "ultra-conservative" types.

 

They tend to use God as a crutch in their decision making processes. I recall one girl working as a clerk at a plaza mall, minimum wage said she quit college because she prayed about it and "God told her to do it".

 

Or some that use God as a reason to break up with someone as opposed to the typical reasons. "I prayed to God last night, and he said I should break up with you"

 

Christian boyfriend scratches head, "Huh, well, okay, since God told you." and never argue the point as to why.

 

I have noticed a lot, esp. in the fundamentalist Christian community, they tend to over use Bible quotes a lot to answer questions and not really give their own belief or opinion.

 

Or in lieu of using platitudes like, "You'll find someone when you're not looking" they'll use, "If you put God first, the rest will fall into place". Stuff like that.

 

A recent female Christian friend introduced me to one of her single Christian friends and we hit it off pretty well. It was actually a Game Night Meetup event.

 

We had talked on the phone for a while back and forth, but every time I would ask her out, she'd always be busy or had something going on. She always had an excuse.

 

I talked to my Christian friend that said she hadn't heard from her in a while either, but that doesn't mean they aren't friends anymore. (I never implied they were never friends, so I didn't have any idea her friend lost touch with her , too).

 

I had recently noticed another single friend of her on Facebook is also on POF. Also, I think I saw her friend out at the mall, too, but didn't want to approach her...and instead of going the online dating route, I figured she could introduce me to her.

 

Her question to me was, "Would you be willing to leave your church/faith?" She had mentioned that she goes to one of those small churches that got their start at one of those Holiday Inn Expresses or something.

 

So I got the feeling it was one of those small, cult-like churches that have people that don't like it if you curse on occasion or won't see a movie unless its rated G.

 

These small town churches are like that, but I could be wrong.

 

The Christian friend said, "Well, I don't think I'd be wise for me to introduce her to you because you need to figure out what church you need to attend first anything else, and then all things will fall into place".

 

To be honest, I am of the mind that you don't need to be in a building every weekend to worship God. I have quite a few real good Christian friends that are that way, but also, I am wondering why would she ask me first if I'd be willing to leave a church to date one of her friends in the first place.

 

Also she thought since I didn't handle her previous friend's "fade out" too well.

 

To be honest, this Christian friend seemed the least helpful "wing person" I've gotten to know. In fact, she was more of an acquaintance than a friend. She wasn't even much for conversing with me on FB chat nor responsive. She seems one of those "automotonic" personality types. But I never really got a good vibe from her.

 

Reason I say this, is because I had initially met her at a Meetup hike. I contacted her on Facebook after a couple of Meetups and we were chatting.

 

She lives within spitting distance of my house so I asked for her number, she goes, "Why do you want my phone number?"

 

And I said, "Because I would like to take you out on a date, get to know you better".

 

She says, "I'll have to think about it and let you know later".

 

I figure, "Um, okay..."

 

Now usually, when women say this, I take it as a blow off and move on.

 

Then a few day slater, she IM's me out of the blue, "Okay, you may ask me out, how does tomorrow night sound?"

 

And I said, "I work that night, so what other night would be good for you?"

 

She says, "Oh, I thought you said you worked from home?" (I used to work from home at the time).

 

And I said, "Yes, I do, but I work nights, how bout <enter another night option> and she said:

 

"I am at Bible study that night".

 

Then I said, "Oh okay, so when would be a good night for you?"

 

Then she said, "Well, am not sure yet now, I'll have to let you know"

 

It never happened. I eventually lost touch with her, until a recent Game Night where she brought her other single friend with her and me and that friend hit it nicely until she flaked.

 

I think her friend, the one that hooked me up with her, didn't like the term I used for her friend "flake", because it sounded derogatory. She was kind of defending her in that regards.

 

Also, is it her decision to make to not introduce me to her friend because she feels I need to "do something with my life" first before doing so?

 

That always irked me about some people in the Christian community. I'm thinking what's the big deal about introducing me, you do little legwork and THAT person can make that decision, not you.

 

Personally, I think I might even this friend off as a real friend, because it sounds like she has her own agenda and isn't one for staying in touch either and she rarely attends Meetups.

 

This reminds me of a Christian friend that said something in his Facebook wall, "It's funny how your non-believing Christian friends support you, but your Christian friends are not there for you when you need them."

[Tiger Lily]

You could always move. San Francisco, maybe?

[Allumere]

Nothing you can do. It is their belief system..God first and foremost and that is the only relationship that matters and the Bible is the literal word on how to move forward in that relationship. And they believe God told them to say no to a person. Typically they have gone back to the bible and they will find the quote or passage that says "say no to this gent" if they have any doubt. That is listening and obeying God. I just went through this after being with someone for 9 months. He didn't come across ultraconservative and I can point to some areas he was not conservative at all. We talked about religious beliefs on our 1st and 3rd date and had several general conversations after that about God. Both Christian but he certainly was much more advanced and conservative. Me, I'm a happy non-denominational Christian (retired Catholic). Talk to God all the time and started reading the Bible again (I dig things from historical perspective, like to have a good debates and I do dig the message of love) Anyway he broke up with me because he said he was hoping to see signs I was a "real" Christian and that he needed to be with an Evangelic Christian. WTH? You didn't know that when we meet...you have been a Christian for how many years? Nothing like a 9 month test. Funny as an evangelic you never asked me to pray or read the bible with you? He has a sister who is Evangelic and married to one. They were in town visiting and he broke up with me afterward...I suspect he got the "you will be unequally yoked" and she must not be a "real" Christian speech. I have no issue with conservative Christians, especially if they let it all hang out because then I know where things stand. Anyway, I think there are many that come to the conclusion honestly based on beliefs, reflection and prayers and then their are those that are so blinded by a desire for perfection they confuse what they want with what God is giving them.