undefined BAH

[smile]

Ok so many of you think I am crazy I know.. but here is my new dilema. After calling 6 times on monday he said he would call tuesday. He didnt call tuesday but I saw him here online. He didnt say hi first but I kinda knew he was busy so I said hi.. he seemed happy to chat.

 

He kep mentioning how he wanted to cuddle wanted to come over. I made a few jokes but at the end when he blatantly said "I want to sleep with you" I said come over. Then he said he would if he didnt have to work. I felt like he worked all night just to get me to ask so he could say no... is that dumb of me to think?

 

Anyway Monday he had asked me if I saw anything thrift shopping that he might like to get it and he would pay me back. Well I got some cool stuff.. last nigt when we were talking I asked when he wanted it and he said "oh I will pick it up tomorrow , or sometime" ...

 

He didn't call today at all. I didnt sign on to AOL because I think if he wants to talk he should call. But is that right? I mean when does my calling become a nuisance and when is it his turn to call.

 

I just dont want to play too coy that he goes away.. gets bored. But I have been told not to be too available either. In my heart I know that no matter what I do I cant change how he feels or what he wants. I guess I just wish I knew what to say when to say it... so we dont prolong this in betweeen thing...

 

I think he may be trying to see how well and cool I can be when he does get busy. Because when we were dating we were together so so so much. We were seriously joined at the hip..he called after work then after band practice was over then when he got home then before bed... it was insane. Like we were married... but worse... and it was because I needed to know where he was so I didnt feel rejected.....

 

Damn after I wrote that last sentence I feel kinda dumb. Its one day.. if he wants me or doesnt has nothing to do with one day. I have enjoyed his company and he has done nothing to hurt me ... I am just letting my imagination get the best of me...

 

right?

[nan]

Well, I think that you need to give everything more time. I mean you said "He didn't call me today" which kind of made me think that you should not wait around for his call, and don't worry if you don't talk to him EVERY day. You are broken up, the more you are around him, the less he will be able to figure out what he wants. I know it's hard, you've read my situation, so trust me I know. But let him miss you.

 

The more I pull away from my ex, the more he pushes. So try just being you, hanging out with yourself, and boosting your own confidence. I know it sounds weird, but after reading your posts, you already know that you are insecure, I can be too. But since my ex broke up with me, I've been hanging out with myself lately, and I like me. I have never liked me. Learn to like yourself and love yourself. Once you are not so dependant, he'll see that you are confident and fun to be around.

 

I know that this will help your situation too, because you are always saying that you had to be around him alot for the reassurance that you're the only one. Trust me, learn about yourself, and everything will fall into place, hopefully. It sounds like he STILL doesn't know what he wants, and things aren't changing, so try a new approach to the whole thing.

 

Hope this helps.

 

Nan

[smile]

Well he did call today. I missed the call. I decided to call him back an hour later.. just let him wonder ya know?

 

Anyway he gave me an update on the dvd that was missing. The one we looked for for 4 hours the other night. Someone accidentaly picked it up and took it. So he has it back..

 

He found out I was going to the show on new years. He said thats cool, I'll hang out with you. I think thats kinda funny- I know he meant like dont worry I wont be a jerk but it sounded like how fortunate you are I will hang out with you... could it be his way of telling me he didnt ask anyone to go..no date or whatever?

 

Anyway his ex (the one right after me) is going to be there. He said he has thought about it and doesnt want to talk to her. He said if she says hi he will say hi but he has no interest in that anymore. So I thought that was a good sign yeh? He said he would just hang out with me and his friends and forget her.

 

Also he said he was lucky to have ppl in his life who take care of him. Mostly girls.. mostly us three me, the girl i am going to the show with, and the girl he is in the band with. He is lucky. We rock. It means a lot to him especially since his mom wasnt around much when he was growing up and he has no sisters. Its nice to have girls who care and protect him and stuff.

 

He asked if we were still friends. He asked if I was going to his show next week too. I know give it time. I just wish she wasnt gonna be there. But I guess you have to face the music sometime. Besides there are ppl there that hate her.. his friends his family... none of them hate me. I mended my fences.

 

Sounds good to anyone else?

 

BTW I like me. Its just lately I have been on vacation and sick. So I have nothing to do, nowhere to go and cant be around anyone really. So this has been just taking over.. so I am reading. That gets my mind off things. But I have learned to like me. I am cool.

 

He said he doesnt want to hang out with that ex , he said she just isnt cool - she has said and done some dumb crap since they broke up- and I said but i am cool. And he was like heck yeah youre cool. So that was nice.

 

So this is good yes? Dont get my hopes up too high but this is good right?

 

new update. he just called and asked if i wanted to go hang out and have some beers with him and his friends.. and his brother and stuff. i thought that was cool because as of two days before xmas they didnt know that we were talking at all. actually his brother said "who are you talking to" and he said me and his brother was all "is she going" and he said "yeh.. oh wait hey do you want to go?" . I would but I have been throwing up all day long. So I said thanks for inviting me but I think I am just gonna hang out here.. I dont feel very good. He said ok see you tomorrow night... I dunno just thought that was nice.