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I saw my bf getting beat up, was it my fault?


Overwhelmed1

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We were getting robbed last month by 2 thugs and I know he tried everything to talk them to leave us alone. They were trying to snatch my purse from me and kept harassing us.

 

My bf who isn't a fighter and never saw him fight in his life, at some point couldn't take it anymore and he punched one of the thugs. From then on all I saw is them trading punches but then the other thug got involved and both of them beat him up. I saw it all and was shocked. I called the cops from my cell phone and they left quickly afterward (I think it was when they heard me reporting it) and my bf was lying on the ground, covered in blood and in pain. I really thought I almost lost him at one time because he briefly fainted and I started breaking down.

 

Needless to say I feel responsible. I should have just given them my purse and all my money, everything I had and nothing would have happen. He says he's feeling better but his face is still a bit swollen. Because of this, he doesn't want to go out like before and is traumatized by it. I've never felt so guilty in my life. Was it my fault this happen?

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No, it was "the thugs'" fault that it happened. And probably their lousy parents' too.
I wish I could have done something but I'm only a 5'3 small woman. If I had a gun, I would have shot them. What upsets me the most is they got away with it before the cops came. No justice done.:mad:

 

Sometimes I imagine one day knowing where they are and using a taser gun on them, as much as they can feel the pain they gave him.

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Thank you for the links jan_may. You're right, I'm suffering too. Sometimes I have nightmares about it, where it's happening again and again and I don't have the strength to do anything.

Then I also have anger towards them. I think about the day they get caught or seeing them suffer, getting run over by a car, etc.

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Things can be replaced, your life can't, just give it to them if there is no risk of them harming you. Bear spray works well in that kind of situation, it's available at most sporting stores and no permit is required.

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No one can say they would of left peacefully if you had given them your purse.
I don't know either but just thinking that things might have turned out differently if I had just given it to them makes me sad.

 

I agree with aliveagain in buying pepper spray from now on and have it handy.

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That's not your fault!

 

You cant just let people have whatever they want, not easily anyway, he's your boyfriend he had to try, right? After all "evil prevails when good men do nothing".

 

 

I'll tell you a story - few years ago, think I was 16ish, I was walking to the train station from a mates house, it was dark, and there was a lad walking ahead of me, not much older than me - 19/20, and was 3 guys walking towards him (they probably didn't know I was there) walked past him turned and jumped him.

He reckoned that they fractured his ribs and he was on the ground so I went jogging over - however much I like to see myself as action man even I knew I didn't have a shot in hell against 3 men! But I had to at least try, because if had been my brother or best mate, and especially now having become a dad, if in 20yrs time god forbid it was one of my sons then i'd want someone to at least try and help! And im a lot of things but I aint a hypocrite - id never ask of someone else something I wouldn't do myself!

 

My grandad always says "it don't matter how many there are because the only one you've ever got to worry about is the ringleader, the others are just sheep" - but realistically that's BS they could of taken me out if they wanted but I was lucky I must of just spooked them (that or the school uniform look was just so imposing ;)), they just chucked a beer bottle at me and when it shattered they went....they didn't even take anything off him, they were just drunk and looking for a fight!

 

 

It wasn't the guy I helped fault, right? He was a really nice guy, worked as a children's entertainer at a holiday camp...same as it wasn't your fault!

These guys were probably looking for a fight too else they wouldn't of picked the girl who was with her boyfriend!

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It's real easy for two guys to jump on one guy but a different story when it's one on one.

 

Good friend of mine had the same problem a few years back. Walking with his girlfriend to his car and a couple guys were harassing them. No robbery but two guys trying to prove their so called manhood.

Problem was my buddy is a third degree black belt and when it became apparent that there was no choice, someone was going to have to pay the price. Long and the short of it was that the two big mouths learned that you need a whole lot more then a big mouth and got a first class lesson taught to them.

 

Take the advice that your getting from others her and get help to overcome this experience. I hope that both of you are alright.

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No, not your fault at all. And even though he got beat up, down the road he'll probably feel better about himself knowing that he tried to do something to prevent it rather than just sitting on his hands and letting it happen.

 

Some people would say that's dumb (and ineffective) but you gotta give the guy credit. Win or lose, he gave it a go. The pain will fade, but he'll know he was a "man" during the situation.

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I give credits to the OP's bf even if he got hurt in the process. It would have been worse if he would have done what this guy did during the 2012 Aurora shooting. I guess instinct didn't kick in with that guy.

J'Adore Couture: UPDATED! MAN ABANDONED HIS GIRLFRIEND AND 2 CHILDREN IN THE DARK KNIGHT THEATER DURING SHOOTING - SAVED BY 19 YEAR OLD JARELL BROOKS!

 

Well....it's easy to judge. Once someone goes on a shooting rampage around you we'll see how you react.

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BOREDouttaMymind

yes its your fault because you punched him and made him bleed and you tried to steal your own purse.

 

..see my point?

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  • 4 weeks later...

It's not your fault.

 

However it's generally a good idea to give them the money in the future. This isn't about right or wrong or blame anymore, it's just about survival. Live vs money, life wins, every time. Especially if you have insurance that covers robbery.

 

A piece of advice that used to be passed around in the place I grew up, where such things are common, would be to throw your purse in one direction and run in the other. Most likely they will run towards the purse and you'll be able to escape.

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