I am an addict, and this is my thread to get clean

[Art_Critic]

keep on keepin on im_thedude... and high five...

[im_thedude]

Hey ho, just my daily update. I'm at six days, which nearly matches my previous best length of NC.

 

Woke up from a dream about my ex so this morning was hard, but got through it by keeping busy. After work I had a cyst on my back removed, and it was the most physical pain I've felt in a loooong time (my doctor doesn't really give a heads up when pain is coming). Needless to say, I much prefer the throbbing back and shooting pain over the emotional trainwreck I've sat through over the course of these past few months

[im_thedude]

10 days tomorrow morning

[im_thedude]

Two weeks tomorrow

 

Biggest road bump yet earlier today, though.

 

My ex came into my work.

 

I'm a barista in the Starbucks inside of a Target. As I walked to the back room to clock out for the day I noticed my ex and one of her friends standing in line. I saw her and quickly averted my eyes. In my peripheral, it was plainly obvious she saw me too. It was the first time we've seen each other in four months, since the night she walked out on me.

 

Then her and her friend walked right by the Starbucks on the way out.

 

... I don't know what she was thinking or who she thinks she is, making such a huge risk like that. I live in LA - it's not like this was the only store in the area. Just trying not to view it as some head game from her and stick to the path.

Edited December 17, 2013 by im_thedude

[im_thedude]

I'm definitely doing better than I was when I originally created this thread. I feel like I've righted the ship so to speak.

 

Getting a haircut and a physical soon, and I've began running weekly. I just want to attack 2014 with real gumption. I am ready to get my career started (graduated this past May and have been working a menial job) and move on and upward.

 

I still don't feel very content with my life as a whole, though. The gaping whole left by a significant other has really brought about this terrible loneliness in me. My friends have been busy and/or wishy washy, so I'm a lone wolf most days and nights. Some days I feel completely alright by it, but others... I just really wished I had that incredible friendship and closeness that you could only really get from being in a relationship. Add in the fact that I've been seeing a huge amount of beautiful women lately and it just depresses me that I'm so alone

 

I play out these fantastical scenarios in which I meet women to help fall asleep. I can't for the life of me see me realistically meeting anyone new, friend or significant other. The very few friends I have don't have other friends, and my work associates just aren't that great

Edited December 20, 2013 by im_thedude

[organizedchaos]

Two weeks tomorrow

 

Biggest road bump yet earlier today, though.

 

My ex came into my work.

 

I'm a barista in the Starbucks inside of a Target. As I walked to the back room to clock out for the day I noticed my ex and one of her friends standing in line. I saw her and quickly averted my eyes. In my peripheral, it was plainly obvious she saw me too. It was the first time we've seen each other in four months, since the night she walked out on me.

 

Then her and her friend walked right by the Starbucks on the way out.

 

... I don't know what she was thinking or who she thinks she is, making such a huge risk like that. I live in LA - it's not like this was the only store in the area. Just trying not to view it as some head game from her and stick to the path.

 

 

 

I struggle with not looking at her instgram too, but getting better at it. I just remind myself of the pain I feel after I look, and her posts are tame.

 

 

Im in LA too. If you ever want to talk, let me know.

[Noproblem]

Well, it's hard to do it all at once. It takes a huge control and let's face it we can't do that, can we?

 

For me, I like to do it gradually. I mean for two weeks I'll be a stalker checking their social media and whatever. Then I try to cut it all at once. Then I tell myself it's ok to do it just once every week week, then it's once every month and then it's once every year or none at all.

Hope your feeling toward her will be ordinary very soon.

It will happen before you know it, and really even if you checked her blog after you'd realized you are over her. Don't panic. It's just out of habit, that's it!

[Noproblem]

Also, I really hope you can find comfort very soon.

 

Don't try to push people away from you, go to therapy and talk talk talk

Don't let it inside you.

 

 

It's hard and difficult, but trust me on this: You will feel yourself again!

 

Not today, or tomorrow, but hopefully soon

[im_thedude]

Thanks guys.

 

Not sure what it is about today, but I'm just really pissed at the world and wanting to disappear. I'm just frustrated at how my life is right now, I guess. Not having a significant other exacerbates how little my friends have been around/there for me lately.

[Noproblem]

join a gym, study again at a community college ...Life is not always about friends and lovers

We can survive without them, because we are survivor and you are survivor.

 

You know there are gyms that 24 hours, there are colleges that is not so expensive, you can try to learn new skill or a language

 

You can travel to another state or country for a change

 

You can do it and enhance yourself and soon your world will enhance as well!

 

Don't tell me you work a full time job and you can't study or hate studying

seriously, you can have time for learning a new thing......There is always time, but there is always lack of will.

[im_thedude]

I think I am going to take a few classes at my community college for fun and socialization. I'm also joining back into an adult league for ice hockey. So I look forward to reintroducing these social elements into my life. It's scary how huge of a question mark 2014 is right now for me - with my career, my social life, my dating life, where I'll be living.

 

Oh, and I'm back at square one in terms of NC. I looked at her Tumblr a few days after seeing her in my store. Give me a slap on the hands please. I'm so frustrated with life right now

[AnyaNova]

I think I am going to take a few classes at my community college for fun and socialization. I'm also joining back into an adult league for ice hockey. So I look forward to reintroducing these social elements into my life. It's scary how huge of a question mark 2014 is right now for me - with my career, my social life, my dating life, where I'll be living.

 

Oh, and I'm back at square one in terms of NC. I looked at her Tumblr a few days after seeing her in my store. Give me a slap on the hands please. I'm so frustrated with life right now

 

With Tim, the way I learned was by getting my hand metaphorically burned on the stove enough times. Each time he didn't contact me it just finally wounded me enough tat I had to give it up for my peace and sanity.

 

When you are ready, you will too.

[im_thedude]

With Tim, the way I learned was by getting my hand metaphorically burned on the stove enough times. Each time he didn't contact me it just finally wounded me enough tat I had to give it up for my peace and sanity.

 

When you are ready, you will too.

 

I think my hand has been burned enough times to not directly contact her. Really, I never have any desire to text, call, or email her. It's just sometimes I get curious and check on her website and that has continually set me back.

[AnyaNova]

I think my hand has been burned enough times to not directly contact her. Really, I never have any desire to text, call, or email her. It's just sometimes I get curious and check on her website and that has continually set me back.

 

I believe the same principle applies.

 

I think perhaps that's why I am experiencing this small setback. I think I had hope that he would contact me over the Holisays.

 

But I think eventually the pain if going to her social media will begin to outweigh the benefits you think there are.

 

It is so bizarre, how we will expend so much pain on someone who hurt us deeply. I wonder why we are not hard wired to move on more quickly?

[im_thedude]

I believe the same principle applies.

 

I think perhaps that's why I am experiencing this small setback. I think I had hope that he would contact me over the Holisays.

 

But I think eventually the pain if going to her social media will begin to outweigh the benefits you think there are.

 

It is so bizarre, how we will expend so much pain on someone who hurt us deeply. I wonder why we are not hard wired to move on more quickly?

 

I do agree with you about that part about the pain eventually outweighing whatever the hell I am deriving from peaking. Even though I stumbled yet again, I'm moving forward with confidence. It really is crazy how the human mind works.

[im_thedude]

Been off the rails these past few days

[ravssss]

whats ur job profile

[JDPT]

Every time you fall you get up a new and improved you, believe it or not. Looking your ex up online was something I struggled with as well, luckily she never subscribe to any type of social media making it difficult for me to find out anything about her. It gets boring after a while, you will realize that it's utterly detrimental to your mental state to continue to self inflict this pain. Keep posting, never give up it will eventually get better.

[im_thedude]

Every time you fall you get up a new and improved you, believe it or not. Looking your ex up online was something I struggled with as well, luckily she never subscribe to any type of social media making it difficult for me to find out anything about her. It gets boring after a while, you will realize that it's utterly detrimental to your mental state to continue to self inflict this pain. Keep posting, never give up it will eventually get better.

 

I just feel so... tired. Not defeated, nor do I feel like I'm at the bottom of the barrel like I did when I originally started this thread. But I'm tired of this roller coaster of emotions. Some days I'm good to go, feeling okay about my life, and others it feels like the slumping areas of my life create this landslide effect.

[StringsAttached]

Bro honestly, after hearing your story which is similar to mine you should be disgusted by her. She's obviously a habitual liar and not trustworthy. Does she even deserve your love or your time?! She left a perfectly good guy, broke his heart in the process and settled for sex > love. You tell me what happens to people like that? Or maybe she wasn't even ready to be in a serious relationship and used you to pass the time. It hurts, I used to stalk my ex online too until I had enough I was frustrated, angry and I had enough...no woman deserves that much affection buddy. You're putting her on a ****ing pedestal and chances are she's even more ****ed up than you are.

 

You should use nannychrome which is an extension for google chrome that blocks certain websites including their social media profiles.

 

If you need any help in operating it just send me a message or read the instructions online.

 

Let her go, time heals everything and by the time you're over her maybe she'll come back to you for a 2nd chance and you can tell the girl you once loved with all your heart to go **** herself. Imagine how much of an ego-boost that would be.

 

Best of luck.

[im_thedude]

Bro honestly, after hearing your story which is similar to mine you should be disgusted by her. She's obviously a habitual liar and not trustworthy. Does she even deserve your love or your time?! She left a perfectly good guy, broke his heart in the process and settled for sex > love. You tell me what happens to people like that? Or maybe she wasn't even ready to be in a serious relationship and used you to pass the time. It hurts, I used to stalk my ex online too until I had enough I was frustrated, angry and I had enough...no woman deserves that much affection buddy. You're putting her on a ****ing pedestal and chances are she's even more ****ed up than you are.

 

You should use nannychrome which is an extension for google chrome that blocks certain websites including their social media profiles.

 

If you need any help in operating it just send me a message or read the instructions online.

 

Let her go, time heals everything and by the time you're over her maybe she'll come back to you for a 2nd chance and you can tell the girl you once loved with all your heart to go **** herself. Imagine how much of an ego-boost that would be.

 

Best of luck.

 

Thanks man. I appreciate the sort of angry perspective that you bring up. I really do have every reason to hate this person.

 

I have an app that blocks websites on my web browser. Once that avenue was severed, I defaulted to looking on my phone which I haven't found an app for yet. I know that sounds ridiculous but I'm working at it!

[StringsAttached]

Thanks man. I appreciate the sort of angry perspective that you bring up. I really do have every reason to hate this person.

 

I have an app that blocks websites on my web browser. Once that avenue was severed, I defaulted to looking on my phone which I haven't found an app for yet. I know that sounds ridiculous but I'm working at it!

 

That's good friend, take it one step at a time. Every victory makes you stronger even the most smallest thing like not visiting her social media for a day. Change your mindset - you remember all the things you did/said to your ex? How you probably dressed up your best and looked your best when you first met her?

 

Do that again but this time do it for yourself. Love yourself and you will naturally be more attractive to the opposite sex and i'm confident you'll come out of this on top.

[AnyaNova]

Delete the Facebook app off of your phone.

 

Post a note to all your friends and family that you are talking a social media Holiday for a month or two) in, I don't know, in honor of Edward Snowden and privacy concerns, or something (they dont need to know the real reason).

 

Then. Give your passwords to Facebook and other social media you are on to your best friend. Have him change them and refuse to give them to you on pain of death. At least for two months.

 

And then go focus on your own life.

 

It is when I allow myself to do nothing, (or when vitamin levels crash) or both, that I start getting nostalgic for what my ex and I could have had.

 

When I get immersed in knitting, or Chopin, or cool books on psychology that I got for Christmas, that I am happy. When I make my life enjoyable for me.

 

You know. I remember when another LS member who was helping me work through this sent me a message basically telling me that I should quit blaming myself, but essentially to **** Tim and forget about him already. He couldn't handle it and he couldn't handle being loved and that's why he left.

 

I cried when I read it at first, but I saved it and have read it many times since. He couldn't hack it.

 

Neither could your ex. It sounds like having someone love her in a mature and adult way was more than she could handle.

 

Please for your own healh and sanity stop torturinf yourself.

 

I know it sounds so harsh and horrible to say, but **** her. You deserve someone who can love you as you loved her.

 

I deserve someone who can love me as I loved Tim.

 

But when push came to shove, neither of them could tolerate being in a true relationship.

 

That is the important point to remember.

 

For you and me, both, it's time to go cold turkey!