izzybelle Posted December 31, 2004 Share Posted December 31, 2004 lady, i received two emails from my MMs email account from her. so...i was the first to know that she knew about me. not sure i can repeat the emails here, they weren't nice. i also received a phone call late one night when she was in a different city from him. ranting, raving, nasty, venom like i had never heard before. i didn't have much of an opportunity to say anything. she never identified herself and i'm not sure MM thought for sure it was her. maybe he just didn't want to believe it. i have gotten prank phone calls before but i'm not sure i believe the coincidence of getting a prank phone call where a woman told me she was going to "lying cheating as$ to the curb." needless to say, from everything he had told me about her nastiness to him....after that call, i had no reason to doubt he had told me the truth. i would have liked to have had a rational conversation with her. to find out if she really had been telling him for years that she was leaving. and why, if she disliked him as much as she seems to, she was giving him another chance or if she was just doing all this for one more year for her son. i had a lot of questions at the time and would have liked to talk with her, instead, i just got yelled at. which, was exactly the way he said she treated him! Link to post Share on other sites
Leaf Posted December 31, 2004 Share Posted December 31, 2004 She can call me or email me. I dont wanna see her in person. I dont think she would ever do it. She has my email and my phone number is on her phone bill... I would not lie to her. I would tell her the truth. I think she doesnt want to hear it, thats why she hasnt contacted me. When she found out about me, I fully expected to be contacted by her. But she didnt. She believes all of his bull****.. and puts her head back in the sand. She thinks that you can turn off a year and a half of emotions like a switch.. She allows him to keep in contact with me.. Not knowing he is telling me to be patient.. he wants to be with me, he loves me, we've slept together twice since she found out. I got a card from him the other day.. it's beautiful. I'd tell her about it. Hell, someone needs to be honest with her at this point. I, for the life of me cant imagine what he tells her.. but I am SURE that its not the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
mary-kate Posted December 31, 2004 Share Posted December 31, 2004 If his wife called me I would probably freak out, panic, throw up. I hope she never finds out Link to post Share on other sites
mary-kate Posted December 31, 2004 Share Posted December 31, 2004 but you know, its a bit different for me he works with me and i have met and talked to his wife. She doesn't know. Or is in denial i don't know. But I would not be able to handle THAT call. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lady Posted January 3, 2005 Author Share Posted January 3, 2005 I want to thank everyone for your honesty, and I wish that none of us were in the places we find ourselves now. H and I spent alot of time this weekend talking, not just skirting around the issue but really talking. I found out a few things that really pissed me off, not at him but at her and some things that made me smile and say ummmm. I had not asked if she was married or involved with anyone because I did not want to know if she was hurting anyone the way he was hurting me, but I found out she is. That she has been unhappy in that relationship. That she has talked to my H about being unhappy, which leads me to beleive she was and is looking for a way out of it. Well my H is not her way out. I love this man with all my heart and soul and no woman is going to get between us and stay there. I will not sit back and allow that to happen. stillhurtin, I am so very sorry for the pain you have indured and for the pain ahead for you. I hope you are as much of a fighter as I am. For me at this point divorce is not an opption, I know that we can and will make it past all of this. We have made it thru things alot stronger than she will ever be. I have had half of my life time with this man and I know him better than she ever will, I know what he likes in every asspect of his life. I know what his dreams are for the future. I know the things he wants to acomplish for himself as well as for us. AND I know he still wants me in and for his future, he still talks about us together. fanou22, yes he wants to stay and work on our marriage, he has said he loves me and that I mean the world to him. My world and mytrust may be shakey right now but I know he is not saying that just to appease me. So the near future may be alot of starting and stopping but we will get it all back on track and running smoothly again. Like I said in some earlier post I do want and will talk to her when I get ready to do that. There are still alot of things I want to tell her and ask her. and yes at times I would love the chance to scratch her eyes out. Who knows if she can't be an adult about it that may happen. I know for the first time in a very long time who and what I am and no b***h is going to change that now. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted January 3, 2005 Share Posted January 3, 2005 Please also try to remember that your husband, if he is indeed wanting to not get tossed out on his ear, will try to dump this on her lap. Don't allow him to-it cheapens your own relationship with him. Hold him accountable for his actions. Link to post Share on other sites
KissMyTiara Posted January 3, 2005 Share Posted January 3, 2005 Can you really, truly believe anything that comes out of his mouth at this moment? Link to post Share on other sites
fanou22 Posted January 3, 2005 Share Posted January 3, 2005 Did you two discuss him staying and working on the marriage without cutting off the ties with the OW? Link to post Share on other sites
Leaf Posted January 3, 2005 Share Posted January 3, 2005 Originally posted by KissMyTiara Can you really, truly believe anything that comes out of his mouth at this moment? KMT is right. ..and I will NEVER understand why the BS's stay. *shaking head* Link to post Share on other sites
Author lady Posted January 3, 2005 Author Share Posted January 3, 2005 you are right, at the moment it is very hard to believe much of what he tells me. But I do know that no matter what he does still love me, I question if he is still in love with me tho. No we have not discussed working on the marrieage with she is staying in the picture. We have talked about what we each want and need. And he knows that I need all contact with her to be stopped completely. He understands that untill that is done that I will not be able to continue in the same compasity that I have been. This weekend I focused all my energy on him and I, but if he continues to talk with her online or on the phone then my energy goes into me and what I need to get my feet back under me. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted January 4, 2005 Share Posted January 4, 2005 and I will NEVER understand why an OW will settle for mere table scraps. Link to post Share on other sites
Leaf Posted January 4, 2005 Share Posted January 4, 2005 Its not table scraps at all , we spend more time with the MM then the W most of the time. They at least are somewhat honest with us. But with the W .. all they get are lies and more lies.. then you take them back.. and they do it again. Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted January 4, 2005 Share Posted January 4, 2005 Originally posted by lady now did I say I was going to contact her, nope, at least not now. but I will in the future when I (me) am on stable ground. If he can not or will not give the answers I need then maybe she can give me some answers to what he led her to beleave. and if I am going to be honest with myself I don't know that she knows about me. But I will give him that much and for now try to beleave him on that one. we were going to try and get away this weekend, if work will let us. and try and get headed in the right direction. I know when it comes to me and her that i have the upper hand, not just because he is here with me but because of our kids. I know it will take something mighty powerful for him to hurt his kids in any way. I may have let myself become to dependent on him, but there is still alot of fight left in me for what I want. Like they say " hell hath no fury like a woman scorned". and if in the end if I loose this one it will not be because I did not try. Right? Ok hun.. I used to be 'the other woman'. Long ago. Lemme tell ya.. it will not do any good talking to her. Most other women don't care. MOST of them.. not all. We believe what the men tell us. And most of us know the men are married. But lemme ask ya.. is he worth it? Would you ever trust him again? Most of the time, it's not wirth it, cuz they don't change. I was with mine for a year, he had kids, and he didn't care. Your problem isn't all that much with her as it his with him. Cuzz if you call her, she could say to you what I said to the wife when she called. 'You need to talk to your husband'.. Just some advice from someone who learned her lesson.. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted January 4, 2005 Share Posted January 4, 2005 Its not table scraps at all , we spend more time with the MM then the W most of the time. They at least are somewhat honest with us. But with the W .. all they get are lies and more lies.. then you take them back.. and they do it again. I don't understand how that can be possible that the other woman will get to spend more time with the married man than the wife. Does the other woman get the weekends? Holidays? Evenings? And if that is true, than clearly the wife must know. I totally agree with the betrayed spouse getting most of the lies. Link to post Share on other sites
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